𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗙𝗔𝗟𝗟

cruel

CRUEL were people who watched over you, well, they were cruel to understate it. They ran a boarding school that wouldn't let you leave to see your parents, not until you passed the highest grade level. It was basically a prison, they kept you confined in fear and treachery. You used to whisper your family's names at night so you wouldn't forget all of them. You tried to imagine all of their faces in your dreams, but as the days went by they got blurrier until they faded into coloured blobs. There was only one thing that got you through all of the days. You knew that during the outdoor time there would be a message on the wall waiting for you. Carving a message took time, but you got better and better at it.

   You had asked your unknown friend questions. The next time you got outdoor time, you got a new answer. The cycle went in one perfect circle, one cycle you could trust.

   One of the days you asked what their name was, they replied, "Varian".

   Then they asked you what your name was and you carved in the wall, "(Y/n)".

   They asked you how long you had been at the school. You told them that you couldn't remember. They told you that they had been there for five years and you felt like that was about right for you too. That meant that you could have been the same age.

    You wrote something else, "Are you worried?"

    Next day, "Of what."

    Following day, "About dying here?"

   There was no reply to the question for a couple of days but you knew that they were still there because they left new marks on the wall by day.

    End of the week, "I don't really fear death."

   You hesitated on what to write on the wall and you were scared that you weren't going to be able to carve anything in once you thought of the words to say. You wrote a simple, "Oh", and left it at that.

    A day later another message, "What about you?"

   "Somewhat," you replied. You weren't sure that you were going to survive. All of the nights left you cold and hungry. They left you tired and aching for home if there even was home anymore. Home, the words felt nice in your mind, but you began to forget what home really was. A home had a mother and a father. These parents were kind and sheltering. You gazed at the bricks that you had carved into, one day you would escape from the walls of this place, and run far away.

   Someday.

   The next day was strange, but stranger than normal. The bells tolled for longer than their regular time and all of the children were told to exit the building. You caught a glance of the many children and their faces. They were not called by their actual names often and they often were labeled as an initial or a number. You were known as "forty-two", but you never used it.

    You were pushed to the ground from the group of young kids like yourself and you were brought back to your feet by a hand that had a V on it.

    V.

    "Varian?" you asked without thinking.

   "How do you know my actual name?"

   You suddenly seemed at a loss for words. "Bricks," you said.

   "You're (Y/n)?" You nodded slowly and he gave you a hug. You were worried he was about to cry. "I have been waiting for the day that we'd finally meet each other."

   "Me too," you said.

   "(Y/n), you're going to have to follow me, and be very silent."

   "Why?" you questioned, you didn't fully understand.

   "Today, we go back home," he said. You were going to protest, but then you realized. Today was the day that you were going to go home. Five years. Fifty days. Fifth hour. You looked around. Five guards. You shivered. Five snow pellets landed on your head.

   Five guards. It wasn't enough for hundreds of children, as you saw a distraction, you and Varian made a break for it. You ran faster than you ever had in your life. Running away from their horrid attacks and mistreatment. You didn't feel guilty of any crime, you felt free from the prison that you had spent most of your life in.

   You followed the river, Varian said that it was a good plan. The river would guide you two home. You looked at the air, your breath made swirls as it touched the cold atmosphere around. The day was getting darker, and you couldn't stop anywhere. You doubted you had any matches. There was no warmth. That night wasn't even the worst. The worst was yet to come.

   Taking more steps in the morning and wondering how far you had left to go before you reached home. You questioned if the path you were taking was going to lead you to a home.

   Then you saw smoke. A fire! Home?

    You ran closer and closer until Varian stopped you. "If we go there, they'll just send us back." You were upset about not being able to go to the warmth, but you understood, that was not your home.

   The next day was worse, there was heavy, freezing rain that came down upon the two of you. You couldn't keep dry and your clothes clung to your arms and legs, the water clutching your body like a wet mop. You closed your eyes and continued to walk. You weren't going to stop till you found a home. That day you only advanced a couple of miles, there were still so many more to go.

   You woke up that night to a raven cawing. The cold air freezing the clothes that you wore and making you shiver. The sun was coming out from the East, it would soon be time to begin to walk again. You woke up Varian and you could sense that he was cold too. You wished that home would come soon. Home, however, was quite far away.

    Five days, you counted. Five days you had been out on the dangerous and difficult search for a home. It was that day that your legs buckled with sadness, he was drifting away. "I'm not going to make it home, but you still can. Take my jacket, you will get home." Varian told you. You didn't want to leave your own friend, the only person you had trusted at that school. A tear went down your cheek, then another, and three more followed. Five tears...but you wanted to cry more.

   You will get home. His voice echoed, and you did, it wasn't the same knowing that he never made it to his.

authors note

How was that angst for you?

1160 words, November 4th

1142 words, edited May 1st