The Renegade (Jenlisa)

I'M SORRY

Jennie -

"Because I hate it when you don't stand up for yourself! I hate you for being so weak! Damn it, Jennie! Learn how to fight, that's how you should live your life! You should be thankful you're alive!"

Am I really such a loser that no one wants to stay in my life?

I thought Lisa would stay.

Tears fell - I failed to stop them. I stopped crying a long time ago. I stopped crying because I promised my parents that I will stop crying. I swore in front of my parents' grave that I will never cry again.

But look at me now, I broke a lot of things because of Lisa. I broke my promise to never cry again for someone else. I broke my own rules by trusting her and investing my emotions in her.

Yes, I just realized that I did invest my emotions in Lisa. Why would I be crying now?

It's because I like her.

I now admit that I like her, not just a simple crush or anything. I like her, and I like her a lot.

Damn it, Jennie!

I wiped my tears and sighed heavily. The day had just started and I still have a lot to face. I don't know how long I stared into space before I decided to take a shower and change my clothes.

Thank God our gym has a shower area. I stink of sweat and my arms are sore. A hot shower will surely tend my aching muscles from that stupid game.

When I tried to open the door, it was stuck. I pulled harder but nothing happened.

"Hello? Is anyone there? I need help!"

I waited for a response but it was quiet until I heard giggles from the other side.

"Stay inside loser"

"No, please! Give me back my clothes!" I begged when they stole my clothes that were hanging on top of the door.

I turned the shower knob off but the water didn't stop.

Why won't it stop?

The water was starting to burn my skin. It was too hot. I tried to pull the door one more time -

"Ouch!"

I peeked at my hand and -

Shit!

No no no!

My head began to spin and my vision began to blur.

"Someone please help me" my voice came as a whisper. I can't.

My hand - it was bleeding. 

I grazed my skin against a sharp edge and blood began to gush along with the water.

Blood is my weakness because every time I see blood - I remember how my parents swam on their own blood. It was a nightmare and that nightmare has haunted me for years.

The steam from the hot shower has now taken my whole vision. I sat on the corner and hugged my legs as I tried to evade the hot water.

The blood didn't stop, the water was getting hotter each minute and the steam is getting thicker.

Help me, please.

Vertigo attacked me and I began to lose my consciousness in a fraction of a second.

"Jennie baby, you have to go with uncle Jiyong"

"But daddy, I want to stay with mommy"