Lisa
I hugged her, kiss her cheeks, her forehead and the top of her head but not her lips because I think they don't belong to me. They belong to that person who loves her so much, the person who loves her before I did.
I told her I'll take a bath again and left her watching TV.
Actually, I just wanna cry it all in the shower where she couldn't hear me and where she couldn't see my tears.
I didn't bother taking off my clothes, I just went into the rushing cold water and there I let out all my tears I kept suppressing since this morning.
"Why did this happen to me? What have I done to deserve this pain?"
My knees collapsed and I felt the cold floor on my bottom. I hugged my knees and buried my face it while sobbing so hard.
It hurts! It fvcking hurts why does this have to happen. I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to love someone and be loved. Now that I had it, why is someone suddenly taking it away from me?
Why? Why is the world cruel?
I really wished that he was lying but he wasn't. Everything he said was true. He even showed me their videos. Damn it!
I feel so bad. I feel so bad about myself for falling in love with someone else's fiancé. I should've thought about that possibility. I'm so selfish! I didn't think about her. I didn't think that maybe there was someone who's waiting for her.
"Why now? Why now that it's so hard to give her up."
I punched the floor until my knuckles started bleeding. But I didn't feel the pain. It's nothing compared to the pain my heart is feeling right now.
My fvcking heart is like being torn apart.
I didn't expect this to happen. I never expect anything to happen, from me finding her in the sea, falling in love with her and this shitty truth.
I never expected all of this.
But I don't have the choice. I'm just the girlfriend and Kai's the fiancé.
He loves her, he needs her more than I do.
I need her too but I know that when I found her I should've kept in mind that there could be someone who owns her.
She's not mine. I have to give her back to where she belongs.
They deserve all the happiness. All I ask to Kai was 10 more days. I want to spend 10 more days with my Nini, my baby, my dear Jennie.
I want to show her how much I love her in that 10 more days. I want to hug her, kiss her and cuddle her for 10 more days. After that, I'll accept the truth and let go of her. I will finally introduce Kai to her.
I know it will break me but I love Jennie and I feel so for Kai. I have to do this to save their love story even if it ruins mine and her's story.
I stayed under the shower until I calmed down.
I changed clothes and laid in the bed. It's just morning but I feel so tired. I feel emotionally exhausted.
I'll just probably sleep for a while. I don't want her to see me like this anyway.
I just met my thoughts drowned me into a deep slumber.
I woke up when I felt a sting on my knuckles and something cold on my forehead. I opened my eyes and I saw her looking at me worriedly.
Oh, she's curing me wound.
"What happened to you?"
She's really worried buy she don't have to. I'm gonna be fine.
"Ah I slipped on the floor earlier and I tried to protect myself on landing but I ended up getting that," I lied.
"And why did you catch a fever?"
"I don't know. Don't worry about me. I'm okay," I faked a smile.
"No you're not."
Yes, I'm not fine. It hurts a lot. I want to tell that to her but I can't. It'll just make the situation more complicated.
"I am this is just nothing. I'm Lalisa Manoban and I am strong," I said and playfully showed her my non-existent muscles.
Keep smiling Lisa, keep hiding the pain. Just spend the 10 days left wisely.
