No matter what happens I'll always stand by you

Trying to make sense of it all

I was sat next to Noah's hospital cot wondering what I'd done wrong. Aljaz had gone to get some air.

I turned towards the door to see a girl, a man and a woman standing there. I guessed it could be Ava with her social worker as I'd told them where I'd be. I walked over to investigate. Bex the social worker introduced them to me then I introduced myself and my son who was lying in the hospital cot with a lot of wires and tubes coming out of him. My daughter was actually stood in front of me. Ava walked over to Noah's cot, started gently stroked her thumb against his tiny hand and said "I'm your big sister." Then she turned around and asked "Have they said anything yet?" I just stood there shaking my head. All of a sudden she remembered why she was here and went over to her bag to get something. Ava walked over to me and said "this is for you" I started getting emotional and Ava felt bad. I must have seen it in her face and pulled her in for a hug and whispered thank you in her ear. Ava stood there rubbing my back allowing me to let all my tears out. I couldn't believe that she was being so amazing considering everything.

Once I'd calmed down, the doctor came in and took me to his office to talk while Bex, Ashley and Ava stayed with Noah. Aljaz must have come back and wanted to know who they were and where I was. As soon as he knew he came to find us.

Not long after Ashley had left, Aljaz and I came back. Ava could tell that it wasn't good news. Aljaz and I went over to Noah's cot. Ava could tell that I was just about keeping it together which was true. Ashley came back, sensed the atmosphere and suggested that Ava, Bex and he left then changed his mind as soon as he saw my reaction.

Ava knew that she had to be strong for me and came over to give me a hug. Aljaz still didn't know who Ava was but soon worked it out. While Ava was hugging me, she could feel me shaking, she tried to comfort and calm me down. After I was able to speak, she suggested that her, me and Bex went to get some air.