No matter what happens I'll always stand by you

Talking about more kids

It was a few days after Ava had left the studio. I hadn't spoken to Ava as I was letting her take the lead.

I woke up to Aljaz lying in bed staring at the ceiling and I instantly knew that he was thinking about something. "Morning baby. How long have you been awake?" "Morning princess. A while" "what you thinking about?" "Just things, I'll tell you later. Do you want some breakfast?" "Tell me please baby. I wanna know" "I don't want to upset you" "you could never upset me. Please tell me" "you know how Noah's growing up really fast" "yeah" "I'm gonna ask you something and I don't want you to rush your answer" "you're scaring me" "I know how you had Ava when you were young and went through your pregnancy by yourself then I was an idiot when you were pregnant with Noah" "can you just ask me what you wanna know" "would you ever want more kids?"

I didn't know what to say. Aljaz couldn't look at me as he thought he'd upset me. "Ali, you ok?" "Yeah you?" "It took me by surprise. Did you mention breakfast?" "Yeah. Why don't you go and get Noah and I'll make us breakfast"

Aljaz went downstairs while I went to get Noah. "Hey my little prince. Shall we get you changed then go and find daddy?" As soon as I'd changed and fed Noah, we went downstairs to find Aljaz who'd just finished making breakfast.

Breakfast was awkward between Aljaz and I. We tried not to for Noah but it didn't go well.

After breakfast I took Noah down to the park. I asked Aljaz if he wanted to come with us but he didn't. I got everything ready, changed Noah and put him in his pram. Aljaz helped me down the front steps then went back inside.

On our way to the park, I was telling Noah stories; seeing him smile made me happy and distracted me from this morning. When we got to the park, I took Noah out of his pram and sat him on my lap on the swing. "Would you like a little brother or sister?" Noah put his fingers round mine.

Noah started getting tired so I put him in his pram to take him home. When we got home, Aljaz was back and helped me to carry the pram up the stairs. I got him out of the pram and took him up to bed.

As I went downstairs, I knew that Aljaz would wanna talk about what he asked me earlier. "How was the park?" "Good thanks" "did you think about what I asked you earlier?" "I did. Noah would make a good big brother" "but" "I don't know if I can go through it again" "I'm not going to force you. It was just a question" "do you want another child?" "It's not really up to me as you'll have to carry and deliver the child and go through the pain" "be honest with me; why did you ask me this morning?" "I was thinking about how we both grew up with younger siblings and how Noah would make a really good big brother. But I knew that it wouldn't be me that would have to go through everything" "I'll think about it but I'm not promising anything" "why don't we spend the rest of the day watching dvds on the sofa and if Noah wakes up then he can join us?" "Ok"