Coron, Iisa lang Ang Puso Ko (UNEDITED)(COMPLETED)

42

Caroline saw him. He stood there with his arms folded and legs astride. Nakasandal ito sa malaking bike. Then he saw her. And was suddenly tensed. Bigla'y umangat ang katawan nito sa pagkakasandal sa bike.

Napahinto si Caroline sa paghakbang. He looked at her from the distance that separated them. Her heart was beating too fast that she feared of a cardiac arrest any moment. Humakbang siya palapit dito. The so familiar and beloved face. Mukhang kay limit niyang haplusin. Mukhang napakaraming gabi niyang inasam na makitang muli sa nakalipas na mga buwan.

At sa panahong hindi na ito dapat pang nagpakita sa kanya ay dumating si Shane. Pinigil niya ang sariling takbuhin ito at yakapin. Gusto niyang bumulalas ng iyak. But she kept her calm and composure.

Tatlong hakbang mula rito ay huminto si Caroline. His face mirrored what she felt. Then he spoke first. "You lost weight..."

The same old voice. Inililipad ng banayad na hangin ang buhok nito. Ganoon pa rin, may kahabaan. She remembered the way she ran her fingers through his hair. Loving it. At napansin niya na nagbawas din ito ng timbang. Bahagyang humumpak ang mga pisngi nito.

"Ikaw rin," sabi niya.

Napansin niya na wala ang ningning sa mga mata nito. And he was staring at her as if he wanted to cry and take her in his arms but held himself. Then she saw the faint scar on her cheek, malapit sa panga.

"Bakit ka may pilat sa pisngi?" Stupid her, pero hindi niya maiwasan ang pag-aalala sa tinig niya. She wanted to come nearer... to touch the faint scar.

He shrugged. Na para bang hindi iyon mahalaga sa mga sandaling iyon. "Huli na ba ako?" he asked in a broken voice.

Tumango si Caroline. Nagsisikip ang lalamunan. She still loved him so. Never stopped loving him. And missed him so. Gusto niya itong yakapin at mag-iiyak sa dibdib nito at matuwang nagbalik ito. But she held herself and stood still.

"I missed you so much," he said emotionally. "Walang araw na nagdaan na hindi ikaw ang laman ng isip ko. Nagagalit. Nagtatanong. Pero nagkamali ako..."

"Yes..." sang-ayon niya, and bit her lip. "Malaking pagkakamali."

"Humihingi ako ng tawad, Caro..." he said. "Umaasa akong kaya ko pang habuling maibabalik ko sa dati ang lahat."

"You are so unfair, Shane."

"Nagkamali ako. Inaamin ko ang pagkakasala. Patawarin mo ako." His pain etched on his face. 

"Kinain ako ng matinding paninibugho. That night... when I so wrongly thought you were with... Jessie, I felt like dying..."

Caroline ached for him. For them both. "Mapapatawad ko iyong hindi mo ako pinaniwalaan dahil narito ka at hindi talaga ako nagising. Sabi nila, lahat ng sirkumstansiya ay nagtuturong kararating ko lang. Mapapatawad ko iyong hindi mo pagsagot sa mga tawag at texts ko—"

"In my anger and jealousy," putol nito sa sinasabi niya, "inihagis ko ang cell phone ko nang huling manggaling ako rito," he said, feeling like a fool.

"You were supposed to give me the benefit of the doubt, Shane. Iyong chance na patunayang mali ka. I love you... gave myself to you when I am not supposed to do that!" Now there was anger in her voice mixed with her pain.

"Pero iyong nag-swimming kayo kasama si Chanelle habang hinihintay kong tawagan mo ako ang hindi ko kayang palampasin. Nagpakasaya ka nang husto sa piling ng babaeng iyon. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang kataksilang iyon, Shane. And you were accusing me of infidelity... of spending the night with Jessie..."

Shane opened his mouth to say something. But closed it again. Good. At least he had the decency not to lie. Hindi niya gustong marinig ang kasinungalingang sasabihin nito. Nakatayo ito roon at nanatiling nakatitig sa kanya. Pinigil niya ang sariling hawakan ang tiyan dahil humagod ang mga mata ni Shane sa kabuuan niya. Puno ng pananabik... at the same time his eyes were filled with so much pain and regret.

Kinabahan si Caroline na baka mahalata nito na nagdadalang-tao siya. She was glad she was wearing a loose blouse. Bagaman hindi pa naman gaanong halata ang nasa tiyan niya.

She bit her lip. She blinked back the tears. Oh, god, baby, this is your father!

"I love you, Caro... I have always loved you..."

"If it makes you feel better, Shane, I love you, too. So much. Pero hindi ka nagtiwala sa akin..." she croaked and smiled bitterly, holding back the tears. Kung magtatagal pa silang mag-uusap ay baka bumigay siya.

"Ikaw ang nagtaksil, Shane. Hindi ako. And I can't turn my back on him. Kahit na mahal pa rin kita. Yes, I will be walking down the aisle wishing it was you on the altar." She choked on the last sentence, not wanting to cry. "At nakahanda na ang lahat para sa aming kasal. Hindi ko man siya mahal ngayon baka matutuhan ko rin siyang mahalin bukas."

"But you just said you loved me?" There was protest and pain in his voice. He even moved a step forward.

Subalit inawat niya ito at humakbang siya paatras. "Don't, Shane. Please. May mga bagay sa mundong ito na higit na mahalaga kaysa sa damdamin ko sa iyo. Isa na roon ang dangal ng aking salita at pagpapahalaga sa taong walang kondisyong nagmamahal sa akin."

Good-bye, my heart. Tumalikod siya, ignoring the tears she saw in his eyes.

Halos gusto niyang takbuhin ang pabalik sa sala. Pabalik kay Matt. Sa katiyakan ng pag-ibig nito sa kanya. But she walked in an unhurried manner. Endured the unbearable pain in her heart. Shane wouldn't know that, again, he had broken her heart into pieces.

"Caro..."

Nilingon niya ito. Wala siyang pakialam kung nakikita na nito ang mga luhang malayang umaagos sa mga pisngi niya.

"What's his name?"

She sniffed. "Matt... Matthew Barcelona." Sa pagkakataong iyon ay minadali niya ang mga hakbang pabalik sa main entrance ng apartment.