My Secret Guardian // song minho (#19)

Chapter 57

Miwon

"I will rather wait for her to wake up on her own, it would take days, weeks, months or even years but I am willing to wait for her because I love her and I will be there for her when she needs me because that is what a secret guardian would do for his princess." I heard that voice again, it has been repeating in my mind for quite a while and I knew exactly who was the one who said it as well.

It is Song Minho, my one and only love and I have been loving him for a very long time and I think that I will only be loving him for the rest of my life, he has been there for me since forever and he had tried to protect me even if he gets hurt in the process and saving me from my damned life. To think of it, he has been saving me a lot of times and I haven't been able to really thank him enough for that, he was my secret guardian but I have always pushed him away everytime he saved me from death.

I have escaped death multiple times and each time Song Minho was there to stop me from making my way there, the first time he saved was when I wanted to commit suicide and fainted at the sight of blood, I wasn't on good terms with him yet and I wasn't even aware that he was the one who saved me, I only knew about it much later but I still thought that he is still wasting his time saving someone like me.

The second time that I got close to death, I got into a car accident because of his former gang mate Nam Daehwan and I collapsed into a 3 year old coma and Song Minho was the one who saved me from dying once again, he even stayed silently by my side every single day for the past 3 years without fail. I lost my memories and I wasn't able to remember him and he was also pretending to be my friend so that I wouldn't hate him, it is a bold move and I was shocked to see the good side of him being shown as his main side of himself, it was a total contrast from the rough Song Minho he was 3 years ago.

And this is the third time I had escaped death and came back alive, I thought that he wouldn't come save me because I had made him give up on me and told me that I want nothing to do with him. But he didn't, he still came to save me when the fire broke out in the hotel that I am staying in and he saved me from the fire that could have killed me.

Why does he have to be selfless? What is the point of being so selfless towards the woman he loved? I just don't get why Song Minho is so selfless and he would do anything to save me, he would not even mind if he were to die while trying to save me, he is such a foolish man.

But I am ashamed of myself, I am ashamed that I haven't been able to do anything to save him, I have been the one that he has been trying to save and I have been trying to take it for granted, I am such a selfish woman and I deserved to get punished this time. Why do I even deserve to even stay on this world? I should've left the first time I wanted to die, why did I even want to stay on here when I have done nothing to save anyone?

I couldn't even help my man when he needs me by his side, all I do is to run away from reality when it hits, I am really a helpless human who doesn't know how to exactly live like a human being, I don't know how to love myself properly and that doesn't give me the right to love Song Minho. I will only make Song Minho unhappy for the rest of his life.

I listened to everything when I am unconscious, I know that I have to get up so that everyone would be relieved that I am not going to be a vegetable state again but I don't deserve it, I only make others unhappy whenever I am around. But yet everyone wanted me to wake up as soon as possible, my father, my university classmates whom I am not close to but they still came, even my mother who doesn't give a damn about my life came multiple times in a day ever since she found out that I have been hospitalised once again. I heard her crying once on my bed and she didn't stop crying for a while, my father was there to comfort her and it took a while to stop crying.

Hearing her cry makes me feel good, I haven't heard her cry so hard like that when she doesn't care about my well-being, it just proves that a mother will never forget their own children even if they don't really care for them. I teared up a little after they had left, I couldn't take it while the two of them are having a emotional moment and I am just laying down on the bed pretending to be in a coma.

But I am getting a little tired about laying down and making everyone think that I am unconscious all the time, I think that I am ready to face the world and Song Minho. He has been waiting for me for too long and I don't want him to keep waiting for me, I don't want to be selfish anymore. I got out of the hospital bed the first time in 10 days and my only goal is to search for Song Minho, he usually comes to the hospital at this timing and he would stay for the whole day with some occasional visitors that will come and leave.

I opened the door and walked down the corridor, everyone was shocked to find me that I am conscious and being able to walk without any assistance even though I am walking really wobbly. And Song Minho makes his way towards my hospital room and he drops everything that he has in his hands and he runs towards me and into my arms without any hesitation.