My Hero Academia: Hell is a Mess

Valentine's Chapter

"Come on, Tensei! You just need have to say yes, and our single asses can go to the strip bar to pick you up a lady! Or man. We can't judge when two of our gay squad members are dating."

"I'm being threatened by one of those gay men, Izuku. More specifically, the one who's clearly a bottom."

"We can face a fucking hobo."

"He kicked my ass in school. He can probably kick a wheelchair. He isn't one to discriminate."

"Why is Shouta threatening you?"

"He doesn't trust us together without him there to supervise us."

"We both know that even if you decline, Nem and I are going. We die together!" I hear his phone go off, " What was that?"

"Shouta sent, 'I can hear you.' How suspicious is that? However, he can do shit over the phone."

"Preach it, babe!"

"He sent, 'I know where you live.' I think we should report this to the police."

"Wait. I know the problem here. SHOUTA!" I shout, covering the receiver, so I don't make Tensei go death. I'm sitting at the dinner table in the common room, so I peer over to the couch where the bum was lying.

Shouta sits up and looks over while squinting his eyes, " What, brat?" How comforting! I put the phone on speaker. I'm not going to let Tensei miss out on this.

I give him a grin, " Would you and Zashi like to go to the strip club with us for Valentine's Day? You can finally show off your sexy moves!" Yes, it's Valentine's Day before you ask.

"No. Unlike you two, I plan on taking him to a pleasant place."

"As trash? I hate to tell you, but it isn't Halloween. Your man is probably looking his best, and you're going to dampen his light by looking like a Satanist next to a Christian! Trust me, it's not a pretty sight!"

"Come on, Sho! This isn't hard! Just put actual effort into yourself, and you're good!" Tensei adds.

"That's the fucking truth."

Shouta sighs, "You have five seconds to get off the phone before I force you off."

"Shouta!" "SHOUTA!" We whine at the same time. Shouta starts getting up. Yeah, I'm not facing him.

"I LOVE YOU, BABE! I'LL PICK YOU UP LATER!" Tensei didn't say no, so I'm going to assume that means I can take him with us.

"Love you too, darling!" With that, I hang up.

Shouta sighs and settles back down, "You're being watched by Maijima."

"He's easy to convince. He gets half the job done himself."

"Izuku."

"Why can Nem go then?" Sho didn't argue when Nem said she was going! He only became the annoying dad brother thing after I said I was going!

"Because she is an adult."

"Mentally, I am an adult. Therefore, I should be allowed to go to a stripper club. It's not like I'm going to be knocked up!"

"How can you even stand to go into one? Those places are disgusting."

"Pay extra for deep cleaning at one. Enough about me. Go get ready. You leave in an hour, right?"

" Yes. You stay out of trouble. I will not hesitate to find you if I learn that you're starting crap."

"Got it!" Don't got it! With that, Shouta goes to his dorm to clean up hopefully. As the demon cat leaves, my brain starts gathering the pieces and hot-gluing them together for a plan.