My Hero Academia: Hell is a Mess

It's Time To Rebel (Songfic) 4

We have part 4. Two more parts and this series is done! We are about to get to the true tea~
Bold is Izuku singing. Yes, he is singing in those circumstances. This is a musical, after all, so fuck logic.
The songs are 'Place To Start' by Mike Shinoda and 'Unstoppable' by Sia.
I thank Nick for the first and Aiden_hunter for the second. I was looking for more songs, and those two fit the bill. Thank you!
Warning: Depression, Angst

- - -

It's been a month since that interaction, and Izuku is nearly done mentally and emotionally.

Izuku stares down at the the person he just electrocuted with so much guilt. As much as he wanted to get out of this, he can't without attracting attention. He's just lucky he hasn't killed anybody somehow despite doing this at least a hundred times. There's always a risk. Hopefully, he will be able to make up for it later.

He doesn't want to keep this misery any longer than he has to.

He needs to figure out what to do quickly before he breaks himself.

With a sigh, Izuku escapes the alleyway and runs back to base,

"I don't have a leg to stand on. Spinning like a whirlwind, nothing to land on. Came so far, never thought it'd be done now. Stuck in a holding pattern waiting to come down."

Izuku arrives at the base with his fake face on, and Shigaraki immediately calls him over. He walks over, and the boy shoves a suitcase into his arms.

Shigaraki explains, obviously not amused with this assignment, "Take this to the location I told you about yesterday, and hurry it up."

"Yes, sir!"

Izuku takes his chance to leave as quickly as possible. As soon as he's out, he drops the face and starts moving,

"Did somebody else define me? Can I put my past behind? Do I even have a decision? Feeling like I'm living in a story already written. Am I part of a vision made by somebody else? Pointing fingers at villains but I'm the villain myself. Or am I out of conviction with no wind in the sail? Too focused on the end and simply ready to fail."

Izuku arrives at the location in reasonable time and simply drops it off. However, he quickly scans the area, absorbing any bit of information he can. He takes note of the location, the type of building, and every guard there.

Silently, Izukui makes his way back. Thankfully, he is not needed for anything else, so he heads to his room. When he closes the door, he lifts his mattress and goes through a specific sequence to find his notebooks filled with information about everything on the League and its connections. He sits at the table and writes down anything of value.

When he finishes, he just feels lost. There's so much. He has 5 notebooks full of information, yet he doesn't know what to do with it.

It's overwhelming.

"Cause I'm tired of the fear that I can't control this."

Izuku has no control. He got extremely lucky that he got out of that brainwashing state.

"I'm tired of feeling like every next step's hopeless."

Shigaraki will constantly grow. Would Izuku be able to come up with every possibility of what could happen even with Shigaraki's quick?

"I'm tired of being scared what I build might break apart."

If Izuku fucks this up, he's screwed. He will either be killed by Shigaraki, which is more likely, or be arrested by the HC for attacking people.