ONE-SHOTS (YouTubers x Reader)

Her Last Words {Thomas + Sides x Teen!Reader}

#blacklivesmatter

TW: This chapter deals with depression and suicide. If these topics are sensitive for you, please feel free to skip this chapter. If anyone feels like this at all, please talk to someone. I know it's easier said than done, but it can make a world of difference.

Slight change in Lyrics to fit

Just an average girl
She always wore a smile
She was cheerful and happy for a short while
Now she's older
Things are getting colder
Life's not what she thought
She wished someone had told her

I don't smile like I used too. I don't have the heart to. Living life, to me, was too harsh and cold. I grew less enthusiastic, less flamboyant, less...happy. I never expected life to become like this. I never expected to be pushed to this.

She told you she was down, you let it slip by
So from then on she kept it on the inside

(Y/n) was in the kitchen, just staring at nothing. Nobody would even be able to tell the war raging inside her. Roman walked in, and put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright, (Y/n)?" She looked at him, not greeting him with her usual smile. She'd felt unhappy for awhile, and thought that maybe she should say something. "Not really. I'm just not really happy." She admitted. Roman hugged her. "Well, whatever it is, you can over come it. Come on, let's watch all your favorite Disney movies." She felt brushed off, but knew he was just trying to something to make her smile. Still, she never brought it up again.

She told herself she was alright
But she was telling white lies

Life was a sad routine to her now. Wake up, go to school, avoid bullies, go home, lie. Tell them that she was fine, that she was happy, that she didn't want to die. That she didn't want to just disappear off the face of the Earth. That she didn't feel like she was being suffocated by her own feelings.

Can't you tell?
Look at her dull eyes

But none of them ever noticed it to be a lie. Not even Deceit. They didn't notice how dull her face looked. Not even Virgil. Nor did they see how forced her smile felt. Not even Patton. They didn't see how tired she always seemed. Not even Remus. Or maybe they did, but didn't want to believe it. It was all fuzzy now.

Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
But she knew there was no chance of feeling alright

(Y/n) didn't really sleep anymore. She just cried at night, maybe sleeping for an hour or so if she was lucky. Sometimes, it would be loud enough for the others to hear. Thomas knocked on her door. "Sweetie, are you alright in there? Why are you crying?" He asked her. She felt like nothing he could say could make it any better anymore. She shut her eyes to pretend to be asleep, knowing he'd come in after too long. She heard the door open, and Thomas's voice. "Honey?" He looked at her tear streaked face, and assumed she was having a nightmare. 'She's been having those a lot.' He thought. "Honey, wake up." He shook her lightly, and she pretended to wake up with a start. "Another nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?" Thomas asked. "I don't remember it."

Summer came by, all she wore was long sleeves
'Cause those cuts on her wrists were bleeding through you see

"(Y/n), why are you wearing such warm attire?" Logan questioned her. She was wearing long sleeves despite the summer Florida heat. She didn't want them to see the cuts she was so ashamed off. "I, Uh, just wanted to wear this shirt." She lied. "You shouldn't wear something you could over heat in. It could cause head aches, nausea, dizziness, heat exhaustion-" (Y/n) just let him ramble on. She'd have laughed if she didn't feel so hollow. In the end, she didn't change.