Rex shot upright, scrambling backwards on his hands until his back hit the wall. He couldn't breath, his chest was tight and he couldn't see or hear very well. He fought desperately to get his breathing under control, to take a breath, anything, but it only got worse.
Dimly, like it was coming from a long ways away he heard a familiar voice saying something. Something brushed his arm and he jerked away. He smacked his other arm on the wall as he gave a strangled gasp. He couldn't see, even though he knew there was light. He curled up, pulling his knees to his chest and tightening up as much as humanly possible.
The hand brushed his arm again and he reacted, pushing the unseen attacker back. He heard a distant grunt and suddenly he couldn't move. He shivered, fighting the invisible bonds that kept his arms and legs from moving.
Something gentle touched the back of his head, running through his too-long hair. The voice swam in and out of focus.
"Rex? Can you...." "It's ok, love..." "Hey, I'm..."
Finally, after what seemed like ages he could breath again, and he could see. Ahsoka was still there, muttering soft things to him as she tried to calm him down. He took a deep breath, shuddering slightly. Ahsoka's hands stilled on his arms and he found he could move again.
"Can you hear me, love?" She whispered. Rex nodded, realizing that his cheeks were wet with tears. He blinked and dug at his eyes. Ahsoka moved in front of him and placed a gentle hand on either side of his face. "It's ok. You're safe, I'm safe, it's ok." She whispered, before moving her arms around him gently.
Rex had never felt so small. Not even as a cadet, hiding from the torment of his batchmates for being blond, not when he had to sit by helpless when Ahsoka was in a coma on trandosha. Not even facing Krell had he felt so small and powerless. He clung to Ahsoka as she traced the marks of scars down his back through his shirt.
"I've got you. You're ok." She whispered, pressing a kiss against the back of his neck.
"I love you." He whispered, his voice thick and hoarse. Ahsoka hugged him a little tighter.
"I love you too. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She murmured, glancing at the chrono. They had only slept for a few hours. It was a little after midnight in standard time and just after dark on Onderon.
They sat like that for a while, Rex slowly coming down from his panic attack and Ahsoka holding him tight. He rubbed at his eyes again, clearing the last of sleep and tears from his vision. He met Ahsoka's eyes and saw a dark mark streaked across her left cheekbone. He reached an unsteady hand and traced it as gently as he could manage. Ahsoka tilted her head into his palm and sighed slightly.
Rex jerked again at a loud explosion from somewhere above them. Ahsoka held him a little tighter.
"It's just noisemakers, Rexie. The rebels are celebrating their recent successes. That's probably what woke you up in the first place." She whispered. Rex nodded into the crook of her neck. There was silence for a stretch, then another BANG from above them made him yelp.
"It's ok, love. We're ok." She said, stroking the back of his neck gently. Another noisemaker went off, and Ahsoka carefully stood and untangled herself from him. Rex curled around himself and watched as she pulled her own pack out from the bathroom and produced a strange headset.
She sat next to him and adjusted it a little so it would work with his human ears. She slid it over his head and saw him relax slightly as he was wrapped in a soft cocoon of silence.
Better, love?
Ahsoka said along the bond they shared, knowing he wouldn't be able to hear her. Rex nodded.
"Thank you." His voice was a little louder than normal. He curled into Ahsoka with his head in her lap. She stroked his back and neck gently, before moving back to his arms like she had done the previous night. Rex shifted slightly so she had a better angle and sighed contentedly.
"Why do you do that, the arms?" He asked. Ahsoka's hands hesitated.
Sorry, do you want me to stop?
"No, no." He said, and her hands resumed their repetitive movements. "Just wondering why." He said. Ahsoka smiled softly, her eyes getting a distant look in them. The room trembled slightly with another noisemaker.
Something Master Plo would do when I had nightmares before he could get me to the temple. I don't know the science-y stuff, something to do with the number of nerve endings and touch receptors, but I know that it's calming and feels good.
She moved to the rougher parts of his arms, and Rex rotated his forearms unconsciously. He gave a small 'huh' that was lost in yet another loud BOOM from above. Ahsoka flinched this time, reaching up a hand to cover her montrals. Rex felt guilty, here he was with noise protection and she was the one who was in pain from it.
He reached up to take the headset off, but she stopped him, shaking her head. He frowned at her as yet another noisemaker went off and he felt a dim spike of pain from the bond that was currently wide open to allow communication.
"Cyare, you need them more than I do." He said. Ahsoka glared at him, refusing to let him take them off.
It's just a little loud. I can handle it.
"You're in pain." Another shuddering explosion sounded. Why on earth would people actually enjoy this? Let alone using it as a form of celebration.
You and I both know that psychological pain is far worse than physical. Go back to sleep. I'll be fine.
Rex frowned at her and pulled her down so she was laying next to him. He rolled off the bed and grabbed a towel spread out on his pack to dry. Carefully, so he wouldn't hurt her, he wrapped the towel around her montrals. Ahsoka giggled a little bit, earning her an odd look from Rex.
Sorry. It tickles.
He smiled a bit and finished wrapping her head up before laying down next to her and letting her curl into him. She smiled and closed her eyes, the headache that had been building dying down to a dull throb in the background.
Thanks Rexie.
Rex chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. He still couldn't hear anything, and the science was getting annoying. But it was better than the noisemakers. He pressed a kiss to an uncovered spot on her back lekku.
"I still think you should have the headset." He grumbled, earning a sharp look from his future wife.
No.
Rex didn't know if it was possible to growl telepathically, but his jetii found a way. "Alright, I won't press. Are you going to be able to sleep?" He asked.
Yeah, yeah I can sleep. Do want some help?
"I think I can sleep just fine without you knocking me out, but thanks for offering Cyare." Ahsoka hummed against him as the room trembled yet again. She curled into him a little more, and he tightened his arms around her.
It was going to be a long night.
A/N - Yeah, noisemakers and fireworks suck if your have PTSD. They (the rebels) are firing off ground flares and noisemakers to celebrate, since actual fireworks going off would be like waving a flag saying 'here we are, come and get us!' Also, fun fact, if you're having a panic attack it does help to have someone tracing or gently scratching on your forearms. It triggers a dopamine release in your brain to counteract your adrenaline and help bring you down. RotD: You give someone a dollar. You are this person's brother, but the person is not your brother. How can that be?
YOU ARE READING
Cyare (A Rexsoka SWTCW Fanfic)
Fanfiction((DISCLAIMER: THIS IS THE RAW BOOKS, MOSTLY UNEDITED. THE CUYANIVERSE COLLECTION HAS THE BOOKS IN ORDER AND BETAREAD. I SUGGEST YOU START THERE)) ~~~ "Rex, that's a kyber crystal." ~~~ Ahsoka loved Rex. Forget the jedi code, she loved him more than...