Under Your Nose : A One Direction Fan Fiction

Louis POV : Part 12

I feel bad about what I said to Jill last night.  I shouldn't have said that.  She was just trying to help, I think.  Maybe she is right.  I do need to get rid of all of Eleanor's things.  Just seeing them here upsets me.  It makes me think that she will come back for them and she will realize she needs me in her life.  I am just lying to myself.  I should just text her to come here and I'll have everything ready for her to take.

I walk out into the kitchen to get something to eat.  Harry is sitting at the table with some sort of sandwich.  I notice Jill is nowhere to be seen.  "Where's your friend?" I ask.

He puts his sandwich down onto the plate and glares at me.  "She went to the airport thanks to you."  He picks the sandwich back up and continues to eat it.

"I didn't mean what I said.  It was a heat of the moment reaction.  I was going to apologize."  Now I feel terrible.  I didn't mean to make her leave."

"Well it's too late for that.  She's gone."

"I am going to get Eleanor's things together and bring them over to her."

I had to get out of the room.  It looks like Harry is a little angry with me.  I don't really blame him.  I shouldn't have acted towards his friend as harshly as I did and now she left with her feelings hurt.  That's not who I am.  I need to get over this breakup.  She was actually a pretty nice girl.  I can almost see why Harry wanted me to give it a try.  I was just too stubborn to see it before and now I have messed it all up.  Serves me right.

I get a duffle bag out of the closet and begin to put Eleanor's things in it.  I begin to open the drawers of the dresser and neatly put all of her clothes in a box.   Some of the things bring up some good memories which is making this pretty hard to get through.  Once I pack everything up I look around and I realize just how empty my life is without her.  I hope Jill is right, I hope this will bring some sort of closure because right now this hurts so much.

I load up my car and begin to drive to her place.  There is a few times I almost turn around and change my mind.  I practically have to give myself pep talks to keep going.  Once I get to her block I can't seem to be able to stop the car.  I circle around the block a few times before finally parking.  I open the trunk and grab the duffle bag with one hand and I carry the box with the other.  I walk up to her door and knock.  She comes to the door and lets me in.  "Hi, Louis," she says as I place the bag and the box on the floor.  "How are you doing?"

Should I lie and tell her I am doing great?  Probably not.  She knows me enough to know the answer to that question.  "Not well, pretty shitty actually."  I stay in the doorway.  I don't want to go in further. Seeing her face to face after so long hurts enough already.  I shouldn't be spending any kind of real time here.  I am supposed to be getting closure.

She walks closer to me and picks up my hand with hers.  "I miss you," she says as she hangs her head and looks down at the floor.  It's enough to bring a tear to my eye.

I pull my hand out of hers.  This was her decision, not mine. I rest my head on the door frame.  "Please don't..." I begin to say.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to," she says as she backs away from me.  "Thanks for bringing my stuff, Louis."

"Yeah don't mention it."  I have to get out of here.  I want to kiss her...even if it is the last time I will ever get to.  I just have to.

I take a few steps towards her and I get as far as leaning in and for a moment it feels as if she is going to let me kiss her.  Maybe she will even kiss me back.  Just before my lips touch hers she takes a step back.  "Goodbye, Louis."

"Goodbye, Eleanor."  Without looking back at her I leave the house and walk to my car.  As I get into the driver's seat I look back at the house and she's already closed the door.  I am such a fool.  I shouldn't have tried to kiss her.  I see her silhouette in the doorway looking out at me.  I can't take this any longer.  I put the key in the ignition, start the car, and speed away.  Let the healing begin.