Under Your Nose : A One Direction Fan Fiction

Jill POV : Part 49

I can't believe after all we have been through to be together he's just decided to throw it all away.  I am crying so hard that I can't even catch my breath.  I keep gasping for air.  I was going to drive away but where am I even going to go?  This is my home even though. It doesn't feel like it right now.  I dry the tears with the sleeve of my jacket but more just come out anyway.  How could he do this?  I thought he loved me.

I rest my head on my steering wheel trying to catch my breath.  I just can't breathe.  It's too much.  I have to calm down but how?  My passenger door opens and I don't even have to look up to know who is there.  He puts his arm around me and pulls me as close to me as he can.  I burry my head in his chest.  "I can't breathe, Harry, I can't catch my breath.  Help me," I burst out.  It's starting to scare me.

He rubs my back up and down.  "Shh shh, calm down.  Just take some deep breaths.  You're going to be ok."

I try to take a deep breath and then another.  At first it doesn't work but after a third I finally can breathe again.  "I am so sorry.  I had no idea," he says as he rests his head on mine.

"I can't go back in there while you're still here.  Where am I supposed to go?" I ask, tears still streaming down my face.  It's useless to even wipe them off at this point.  More just follow.

"We will figure something out.  I promise," he says calmly.  I must look like a lunatic hysterical crying in my car and yet he stays perfectly calm.  It's helping me calm down a bit.

"I can't even believe that just happened.  We have been talking about sticking together and being strong for each other.  I guess that was all a lie."  My hurt and sadness quickly turns to anger.  How dare he do this to me?  How dare he make me fall in love with him only to rip my heart out if my chest and stomp on it?  How could I be so stupid?  Never again.

"I know it sounds crazy but he thinks he's protecting you by doing this.  I'll try talking sense into him.  Maybe we can fix this."

"Don't bother.  I can't deal with this right now.  I have to get out of here."  I turn the car on.  "Have a good tour, Harry, I'll see you next year."

He gets out of the car and looks back into the door at me.  "This is all my fault. I'm sorry," he says before closing the door.

I open the window and yell out to him. "Don't blame yourself.  It's not your fault."

He walks back over and leans into the window.  "Where are you going to go?"

"Probably Damien's." Damien is one of the hosts on the radio show I work for.  We are pretty close friends and he doesn't live that far away.  I would go to Abby's but I know she would just try to get me drunk and hook up with some random guy.

"Be safe, Jill."  He gives my hood a few pats and walks away.  I close the window.  It takes me a few minutes to actually put the car in drive and go.  Everything I own in us that house.  The people I love are in that house.  I don't want to go.  I do want to fix this I just know I can't.  Maybe he'll find out one day that I was right here for him the whole time.  By then it will be too late.