Under Your Nose : A One Direction Fan Fiction

Louis POV : Part 48

I have seen the tour schedule and we will be gone longer than we ever have on both of our tours.  We will be in more countries for more dates.  This is going to be a trying time for all of us.  Liam and Danielle just got engaged.  Harry is with Allison.  Zayn and Perrie are perfect as always.  Niall is still Niall, waiting for the one.  We are going to support each other more than ever.  We can do it, though, because we have each other.  It's Jillian I worry about.  Will she still love me while I'm gone and when I come back?

We have been practicing for a month and a half now for the new tour and soon we will start our 12 month tour. That's right, 12 months, 1 year, 365 days.  It's a long time.  It's going to be amazing, though, because we will be reaching so many more fans.  We are all really excited.  We are going to so many countries we've never been to before.  We really are so lucky to have the best jobs in the world.

I feel like I haven't unpacked from the last time we were away but here I am packing again.  I can hear Jill and Harry laughing with each other in the other room.  It reminds me of when she first moved in and I was miserable.  They were laughing in the other room and I was hating them for doing it.  I don't want to feel like that again.  I don't want to hurt Jill but I think it might be for the best.  I don't know if I can bring myself to do it though.

I can hear Jill's voice getting louder and footsteps coming towards my door.  She must be coming to watch me pack.  This is all too familiar.  She watches me pack with that sad look on her face and I try to be strong and tell her it's going to be on and I'll see her before I know it.  Is that what our lives are going to be like from now on?  Maybe I was better off with nobody.  I don't want to have to keep worrying about her.  She deserves somebody who will be here for her.  That's not me.

She opens my door and comes into the room.  She takes her usual seat on my bed and I continue to pack in silence.  I have to do this for her own good.  "It would almost be easier to buy your clothes per city," she says.

"Yeah probably," I say, not even looking up.  I can't look at her not when I know I am going to break her heart in a few minutes.

"What's going on?" she asks cautiously.  She knows me better than I thought.  I can't hide this for much longer.  I have to break up with her.

"Jill, listen, I think we need to talk."  Really?  Did I really start with that doomsday line?

"You're scaring me," she says.  The smile she was just wearing is gone.  From the tears in her eyes I think she knows where I am going with this.

"Before I say what I have to say just know I am doing this for your own good," I begin to say.

"This is not for my own good.  I don't want this."

I get up off the floor and sit on the bed next to her.  I take her hands in mine but he pulls away and crosses her arms across her chest.  "I am going to be gone for so long and I think it would be better for us to go on a break.  You should find someone who will be here with you."

She starts to cry.  I feel terrible.  I knew this would hurt but I didn't think it would hurt me as much.  This feels wrong but I know it's what I have to do.  "A year is a long time.  We can see where we are when I get back.  Who knows what will happen?"

She puts her hands over her face and sobs.  She tries to catch her breath before saying, "is it someone else?  Do you, do you want Eleanor back?  Is that what's going on?"

I don't know how much longer I can hold myself together.  I've made her cry.  I just want to protect her.  "No of course I don't.  Don't you see I'm doing this for you?"

"I thought we agreed we would be here for each other no matter what.  You...you lied to me."  She is now hysterical and I don't know if there is anything I could say to make her feel better.  She gets up and runs out of the room.  I hear Harry try to talk to her then hear keys jingling and the door slamming.  She's gone.