Under Your Nose : A One Direction Fan Fiction

Jill POV : Part 55

It has taken a few weeks but I've finally gotten some furniture in this house. I still have so much to add before I can really say it's complete but it's already feeling like home.  Being in my own space has really lifted a lot of the stress I was feeling after the break up.  I can actually go out and have fun again.  Damien and I have been spending a lot more time together.  He's been a good friend to have in all of this.  He always tells me how it is.  The paparazzi have taken a few pictures of us together at different times and even though nothing is going on between us his girlfriend left him.  He's better off without her.

It's been about 2 and a half months since Louis and I broke up.  I keep telling myself I'm over it but I still can't actually see a picture of him without tearing up.  I feel like such an idiot sometimes but it's getting better.  I hardly think about "us" anymore.  I've been taking on extra work at the station so that's keeping me occupied.  I now have my own show I do on the weekends.  The fans have somewhat calmed down in calling my show but I get them once in a while.  I'm not afraid to talk to them.  I have never once thrown Louis under the bus.  I always say it was a mutual decision even though it wasn't.

Harry still texts me once in a while to update on how everything is going.  Louis hasn't texted me since he did a month ago.  Part of me wishes he would; just to show that maybe he still loves me.  I know I'm trying to move on so I guess it's selfish that I don't want him to.  I miss him and I want him to know that but I keep it to myself.  At least I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore.  Damien and I are going out tonight to get sloppy drunk with some of our coworkers.  It's going to be a blast.

I called a taxi I come pick me up because I know I won't be driving home tonight.  Once I get to the pub I find them right away.  I am the last one to arrive.  As soon as I get over to my crazy group of friends they hand me a shot and it's going to be all down hill from here.  We do shot after shot and car bomb after car bomb.  It doesn't take long for the alcohol to take effect and I start to roam around.

I find myself watching a pool game and wind up calling next game. I don't even know these people but I don't care and they don't seem to care either.  It's finally my turn to play and it doesn't work out that great.  I can barely hold the stick steady.  If I'm not trying to hit the pool balls I am laughing hysterically at who knows what. As I am trying to make my next move I feel a body very close to mine.  I turn around and Damien is standing there with a goofy smile on his face.  Seeing him only makes me laugh harder.

"I thought I lost you," he slurs into my ear.

"It got too crowded.  Plus I made some new friends over here."  I point to the people I'm playing pool with.

"I know somewhere we could go that is less crowded."  He takes my hand and leads me to the back of the bar.  We walk up a small flight of stairs into a closed off area that has a few booths on one side and a couch all along the wall on the other side. It's lit up by small red lights.  We sit down on the couch next to each other.

"Are we supposed to be back here?" I ask after looking around and noticing nobody else is around.

"I come back here all the time," he says and puts his hand on my hand.  What is happening here?  "You look hot."

"Thanks."  He is looking at me all weird.  I might be feeling uncomfortable.  I can't tell.  The room is spinning.  He kisses me so fast I don't have time to react.  At first I kiss him back but this feels wrong.  I don't want this.  I don't like Damien like that.  I put my hands on his shoulders and push back.  "I'm sorry I can't do this."  I stand up and quickly walk from the back of the pub, through the sea of people crowded at the bar, and out onto the street.  I feel terrible.  Why did I kiss him?

I take my cell phone out of my purse and call myself a taxi.  Damien is soon out on the sidewalk with me.  "Jillian, I'm sorry please don't go.  That was over the line.  I'm so stupid," he says while dropped to his knees.

"Get up Damien," I say as I try to pull him up.  I don't have enough strength to even pull his arm up.  "I'm still in love with Louis.  I can't do this."

My taxi pulls up just in time to get me out of this situation.  I get in as Damien begs me to stay.  I close the door and tell the driver my address.  Who ever says alcohol solves all problems is an idiot.  It only makes them worse.  I take out my phone and send Louis a text.  I shouldn't be doing this but I'm doing nothing to stop myself.  'Why did you leave me? I love you.'