Under Your Nose : A One Direction Fan Fiction

Jill POV : Part 47

It's been really hard being away from Louis so long while they record their album.  It got me thinking that maybe I am not cut out to be the girlfriend of a boy bander.  They're going to be home for a bit while they do some photo shoots them film their first music video.  After just a few short weeks they're going to be all over promoting the new album and then tour practice and back on tour.  When will there be time for me?  I don't know what to do.  I love him.

They have been back for a few days but I haven't been able to talk to Louis about how I am feeling.  I don't want to do to him what has been done before but how to I protect myself?  I have been awake at night stressing about this.  I don't eat, I don't sleep, I feel like a zombie.  I should be the happiest girl on earth.  I have a wonderful guy who loves me.  Why isn't that enough for me?  Louis and Harry have been going around the house singing their new songs.  They sound beautiful.

"Should I be wearing earplugs?" I say as I take a seat at the table.  They're having dinner but I'm not hungry.

"Are you going to leak our new album?" Harry asks from behind his glass of soda.

"I've been secretly taping you," I say sarcastically, "I'm going to tell the world."  He throws a piece of food at me.  I just laugh and so does he.

"You should eat something, babe," Louis says as he pushes his plate towards me. He gets up and fixes himself another plate.  I push my food around with the fork but I'm not in the mood.  I think Harry can sense something in the sir because he picks up his plate and leaves the room.

"Looks like we've scared him off," Louis says after we hear the office door close.  "I'm not making it up, right? Things are weird?"

I sigh.  "I'm over it.  You have nothing to worry about."

"I'm a big boy, I can handle it.  You can talk to me."

I don't really want to talk about it.  What if I say something I will regret later?  I really want to be with him.  I do.  I can't avoid this forever though.  "I was scared but now I'm not.  I can do this.  I love you."

"We'll that's a relief.  You were worrying me there."

"I was worrying me too, believe me.  It's been stressful.  I've never done anything like this before."

"You're looking at the expert.  I'll get you through it."

He's so sweet.  It feels good to kind of talk about it with him.  I think it relieves a big weight off of my shoulders.  Hopefully I will be able to sleep and eat again now that I have gotten it off my chest.  I can finally enjoy the next two weeks with Louis and then hate the time that he is away but will always know that I am the one he will come home to.  I can do this.  I love him and he loves me.  That is stronger than any distance or any time apart will ever be.  I have seen the light.