Eye of the Beholder (Loki Love Story)

Chapter 18 Don't Forget Me

After that, it took a few weeks before I could bring myself to move past what happened to me and Loki was supportive all the way. He respected I needed time before I could be intimate again and was loving and passionate, very protective. He didn't go on any more missions until he was sure I was safe and that Killian and Hydra were gone. So he stayed with me instead, looking after me and being the man I fell for. But when I was ready to make love to him again, it felt like I had come back to life and we basically spent days in bed together, just enjoying each other's company. Loki worshipping me like I was a goddess who had come down from the heavens.

The years flew by as me and Loki enjoyed our life together, hopelessly in love. It turns out Loki didn't break Killian's spine but damaged it so he can't walk properly without a stick. Not like we cared and it seemed that Killian's scheme to get me literally crippled Hydra. And with him locked up, Hydra fell and it was all resolved. There was peace on earth and it was thanks to Loki's help that Hydra was dismantled and New York and the world prospered. Occasionally Thor visited Loki to see how he was but apart from that, life was normal. Practicing magic, training, reading and both of us hopelessly in love. No drama or life and death situations, it was peaceful.

However as the years passed, we both realised that soon he would have to return to Asgard as his banishment would end. He would be a free man and his family will want him home. To be reunited at last which meant we would separate and never see each other again. It was a day that we both feared was coming too quickly so we savoured every day together, knowing one day it would be our last.

That day is today.

It's been 10 years and Loki's banishment is over. The day we both dreaded coming has finally arrived and I don't want him to go. Living a life without Loki when I have spent so much of my life with him, it's too horrible to imagine but it must be a reality. I know he doesn't want to leave me and I love him like he loves me. But I am mortal. And maybe it's ok now, me only 30 years old and still young and hot. But soon I will begin to age and I don't want Loki to see me age and die. Not when he won't age a single day. As much as it will hurt me to let him go, I know he belongs on Asgard with his family even if it means I lose the man I love forever. I've got to let him go and hope he doesn't forget me. Lives his life and maybe we will meet in Valhalla. I would like that.

We have just had lunch together for the final time and I can see Thor outside on the balcony waiting for him. Loki spots him and nods before looking at me. The despair in his face is horrible and yet it's the same as mine. He doesn't want to go, to leave me but he has to. We don't even walk halfway across the room when he turns back to me, trying not to go.

"I can't go." He admits, "I can't leave you. I know I should but I can't lose you. I just can't. I love you too much to leave you behind."

I force a smile, "Loki I want you to go."

He looks at me shocked and heartbroken, "What?"

"I love you Loki and I really don't want you to go. I really don't. I want you to stay but that's the problem, you can't stay with me forever." I take a breath, "I'm mortal Loki. I'm going to start to age and I don't want you to see me grow old and die before you. Not when you won't age a day. I can't do that to you."

"I can't lose you." He whispers.

I feel tears in my eyes, "You won't. You will always have my heart and we can still talk, telepathically and everything. But you belong on Asgard with your family. Its where you belong."

He rests his head against mine, staring into my eyes, "Why do you have to be right?"

"Believe me I hate it too." I touch his cheek, "I love you Loki and I always will. Just don't forget me."

He shakes his head, "I could never forget you. You have done so much for me, gave me life, love. I will never forget you. I will talk to you every day until you go."

I smile, "You better."

Then he kisses me and I kiss him back, tears rolling down our cheeks as we say goodbye and it's so full of passion that it's intoxicating. I touch him, holding onto him knowing it's the last time I can and breathe in his cologne. God this is so painful but I have to let him go.

He reluctantly pulls away, "I love you, always."

"As I love you, my god of mischief."

Then we pull apart and I watch him go out onto the balcony, to greet his brother. But he looks at me before the light takes him and I memorise him. So I will never forget what he looks like and I force a smile as he smiles back but both of us are leaking silent tears. And then the Bifrost takes them both and they vanish in the rainbow light.

I fall to my knees and cry, letting the pain out but I know I did the right thing. Loki had to go home to his family and I couldn't make him watch me die. At least now, he is home and even though it hurts, I will always love my god of mischief.