Always. (A Draco Malfoy Story)

Condolences.

I'm speechless.

Dumbfounded.

Shocked.

Sad.

Pretty bloody fucking pissed.

My eyes wander over to my father, "She's dead? And you killed her?!"

I jumped at him. "YOU LIED TO ME!" I began to punch against his skin, "LIAR!" I tried to punch hard. I really did, but I... couldn't.

I began to wail out. My mother is dead. She didn't run away from me. She died. She died and I didn't get to say goodbye.

I didn't get to tell her I loved her. She just got out of Azkaban and I only saw her once after that. My eyes began to fill up with tears.

She's dead. Dead. I can't get her back. At least when I thought she left, there was a slim chance of her coming back. And now that chance is gone. I could feel all the hope I had drain out of me.

My mother is dead, and my father killed her.

I fell down to my knees and began to sob. An overwhelming wave of emotions came over me and I cried out and sobbed profusely. I sunk my head into my hands, hoping, praying, that this is one of my nightmares. That I'll wake up at any second. I'll be in bed, sweating, but happy knowing that this is just a dream.

I squeeze my eyes shut hoping I can wake myself up.

Nope, this is real. This is happening.

I cry out some more and began to have difficulty breathing. My hands begin to shake and I can no longer breathe out my nose, and must handle breathing through my mouth.

Draco runs over to me and hugs me close. I try to speak, "He—"
He interrupts me and tries to comfort me, "Shh, it's ok, love."

I squeeze his jacket, "Dra-Draco! Sh-she's dead! He killed h-her!" I start to hyperventilate, "I-I can't breathe, Draco." I start to pant, "My m-mother.  She-she's dead, Draco!" I cry into his chest, wailing out in sorrow. I could feel my heart shatter and drop to my stomach.

"Wait..."

I pulled myself away from Draco. "You... knew."
I looked up to Narcissa, "You knew." She avoids my eyes.

I stand up on my own two feet and began to shout, "You knew?! Both of you knew?!" I start to pant as I can feel rage build up in me.

I screamed, "YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"
I stepped away from all of them.

"YOU LET ME BELIEVE THAT MY MOTHER ABANDONED ME!" I felt the tears coming back up. "YOU LET ME THINK I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER TO STAY! YOU LET ME THINK OF ALL THE REASONS WHY I THOUGHT SHE LEFT US FOR BUT YOU KNEW SHE WAS DEAD?!" I began to sob again.
"THAT SHE WAS DEAD!"

I gasped for a deep inhale of breath I desperately needed, "AND THAT MY FATHER! MY OWN FATHER KILLED HER! KILLED MY MOM! KILLED HIS WIFE!" I can't breathe again.

I looked to Draco, "YOU LIED TO ME!" I start to pull my own hair out of frustration. "EVERYONE IS LYING TO ME!"

Draco tried to explain, "Love, we were only trying to protect you."
I shout, "WHY DOES NO ONE SEEM TO THINK I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?! WHY MUST EVERYONE QUESTION MY ABILITY?!"

I hear Narcissa beginning to softly cry at the sight of my breakdown. Snape, Draco and my pathetic excuse of a father staying silent.

I don't know if I'm more hurt or pissed off right now. But I know for damn sure, that I do not want to near any of these people right now.

Draco steps towards me, and I immediately lean back, "Get away from me." He begs, "Baby—" I step back again, "Don't touch me." He tries again, "Love, I—"
"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!"

I quickly grab my wand and disapparated the fuck out of there.

Draco turned to Snape, "This couldn't have waited until later?! I just got her to be happy again!"

Snape pushes Father down to the floor as Father whimpers, "She need to know the truth. We all knew she would react this way." Narcissa speaks up, "Where would she go?" Draco sighs, "Probably home."

He walks over the the nearest flat surface and sits on it, his face dropped into his hands. He mumbles out, "So now what? She knows now."

Snape sighs, "I'll deal with... him." He looks at the man on the ground. He goes on, "Check in on her tomorrow. Give her some time to calm down."
Draco sighs but nods. "Yeah, sure."

-

"BINKY!"

Binky comes running up front he basement, "Yes, Miss Joy?"
I run over to him, "Binky, take me to her now." Binky's eyes widen at my request, "Miss Joy, it's late. Binky can take you tomorrow—" I cut him off, "No, Binky, take me to her now." Binky sighs and snaps his fingers.

We're just outside of the house, under the large oak tree. I'm standing in front of a single daisy, sprouting out of the snow.

I look at Binky, "Here?" He nods, "Mr. Master told me to bury her close to home." I sigh and nod. I sunk my knees onto the cold, icy snow in front of Mother's make shift grave.

I whimper out, "...Mum. I'm so sorry." I could feel my eyes filling up with tears again. The cold air brushes against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.
"I saw that you were sick... I should've came home. I could've stopped him." I began to cry into my hands. The tears running against the palm of my hands and drips down my arms. I don't know how I still have tears left in me.

I begin to silent sob. I quiet of the outside now being filled with my sniffles and hard breathing.

This feeling of overwhelming sadness. The shivers. The hurt of betrayal from everyone I love. The feeling of no parents, no one to trust, no one to rely on but myself.
The circumstances feel all too familiar.

I realize I'm back to square one.
I feel lonely again.