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The bed sunk, and his arms engulfed me. I pushed them away. I wanted them away. But he fought harder, and grabbed me. The arms went in a full circle around me, and it was warm.
I didn't know which of my brothers it was, and frankly it didn't matter to me yet.
I pulled up my hoodie sleeves and wiped my tears, covering my mouth with the other to try to silence the shuddering cries.
He didn’t say anything else. We just sat there, as my hand remained over my mouth and I let it out.
The regret, the grief, the guilt, the pain. The mourning, the sadness, the anger, the longing. It was all just too new to me.
After several prolonged minutes, I laid back. The cologne they were wearing drifted into my nose, telling me who it was.
“Yoongi,” I finally groaned. “Let me be.”
It was a second before he replied, “No. You need to let it out. You need to know that no one is stopping you.”
Without a reply, we sat in silence for a few minutes. He got up to close my bedroom door, and then came back. I didn’t want him to see my face, so I buried it into his chest when he sat again. He leaned back against my bed's headboard, so I could lay on my side over him.
I liked the silence, and I almost had a feeling he did too. I let it continue for several minutes, before I just couldn’t keep from asking the new burning question. “When will the pain go away?”
“Not for some time, unfortunately.”
My eyes squeezed shut and my teeth clenched.
“But, it will happen. When you’re ready, I can tell you why you’ll be okay. Right now, that’s not what you need to hear. You need to hear that it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to miss him, and it’s even okay to wonder why he left. One day, you’ll have all the answers and it won’t hurt anymore. Or…" he let in a slow breath. "You might not have all the answers. But you'll be at peace with what you do have.
“This is the largest open sore you’ve ever received. It’ll heal, eventually. Your body always heals, doesn’t it? Every day, it’ll hurt less. Some days, you’ll accidentally hit it wrong and it’ll hurt all over again. Maybe the scab will come off in some places where it wasn’t ready to. But then, it’ll go away completely. Your skin will be tougher than it was before, so that you don’t get injured there again. If you do, you’ll know how to recover. You’ll have faith that you can recover, because you’ll have seen it happen before. That’s just the process of life, and you’ll get used to it eventually. The first time is just the worst, because you’ve never seen yourself get healed afterwards before. You haven’t seen it happen yet, so you might not believe it can. But just wait, have hope that day will come. Because I know it will.”
His words went in circles inside my head. “But Yoongi, I think I did it.”
“Did what?”
“I killed him.”
He tensed, but shook his head in denial. “How?”
“I didn’t make life worth living for him. He said he loved me, but I know love would have kept even me from ending it all.”
He inhaled sharply, “That’s a common one. Plenty of people say that when the ones they love most end it themself. I don’t want you to ever think like that again.”
“Well I do, alright?” I asked, sitting up. “I do. Because it’s true. Maybe you don’t know because you’ve never felt it, have you, Yoongi!?”
YOU ARE READING
Forever, We Are Together // BTS Adopted Book 2 ✅
Fanfiction"He might be gone, but the rest of us are still here. That was the past, this is the present." "He didn't have to do it that way. He didn't have to end it himself." After her escape from her abusive father, the adopted sister of the worldwide boy ba...
