Chapter 10

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Wednesday
Jaden: lex wake up (lightly shakes her)
Lexie: go away (whines)
Jaden: no remember you're coming with me to the studio today
Lexie: no just let me sleep (mumbles)
Jaden: no you're coming with me even if I have to drag you
Lexie: whyyy do I have to go (whines)
Jaden: because I want you to come on (shakes her)
Lexie: (opens her eyes) ugh fine let me get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs
Jaden: okay don't worry about eating we'll stop at Ihop on the way
Lexie: okay
(Jaden leaves the room)
Lexie's pov
I groaned because I really didn't feel like going to the studio with Jaden but I know he's just gonna keep persisting if I don't so I got out of my bed and walked over to the closet and picked out a pink rushed velvet cami that showed my stomach with a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and adidas and walked into the bathroom and decided to curl my hair and put on a light amount of makeup and grabbed a jean jacket because knowing Jaden he's gonna say something about the top but I really thought I looked cute today so I am not gonna change. I grabbed my phone, headphones and purse and walked downstairs to see Jaden sitting on the couch while the boys were already up and working out.
End of pov
Noah: aw you look cute Lex
Lexie: really your not gonna say anything about it being a crop top that's a shocker
Blake: the Jean jacket completes the look
Lexie: oh now I understand you only like it because I am wearing a jacket with it (rolls her eyes)
Griffin: anyways are you excited to go to the studio with Jaden?
Lexie: nope but he was going to drag me to go with him eventually
Jaden: (gets off his phone) ready to go lex?
Josh: wait can I talk to her for a second before you guys go
Jaden: yeah go ahead meet in the car okay?
Lexie: okay
(Jaden walks to the front of the house and josh pulls Lexie inside the house close to the front door)
Lexie: why did you want to talk?
Josh: I just want you to promise me that your going to at least try and get a long with Jaden today okay? He really wants to make up for whatever he did and the only way he can do that is if you meet him halfway
Lexie: I don't want to meet him halfway and I don't want to forgive him (crosses her arms)
Josh: you are so stubborn you know you get that from Jaden too right
Lexie: I guess
Josh: anyways go I don't want Jaden to be late but try and have some fun okay?
Lexie: whatever bye josh (walks out of the house and gets in Jaden's car)
Jaden: so Ihop?
Lexie: sure (shrugs her shoulders)
Jaden's pov
I pulled out of the driveway and started driving to ihop when I looked over at lex who had her phone in her hands and headphones in her ears and I wanted to talk to her so during a stop light I reached over and took her phone and put it in my pocket.
End of pov
Lexie: Jaden give it back!
Jaden: no I want you to get off it for now
Lexie: why?
Jaden: I want to talk to you that's why
Lexie: about what?
Jaden: anything, how's your first week in LA been?
Lexie: so you want me to be honest?
Jaden: yeah of course
Lexie: I want to go home, I miss my friends and everything is drama over here and toxic, I miss going out on the boat
Jaden: and getting High and drunk with your friends look I am sorry that you don't want to be here but those people weren't good influences and you know it
Lexie: okay well those people were there for me when you weren't
Jaden: how many times do I need to apologize for leaving lex but I did what I had to do to follow my dream and you can't be mad at me for that
Lexie: (looks down and whispers) that's not why I am mad
Jaden: what? (Looks at her)
Lexie: I am not mad because you followed your dream Jaden look I know I haven't been the nicest so I haven't told you this but I am proud of you for everything you've done really I am... I just wish you wanted me to be part of it (looks at the window)
Jaden: what do you mean, of course I want you to be part of it
Lexie: yeah now that I am here but what about when you went on tour you could have brought me with you or when you moved out to Cali instead of leaving me alone... Jaden you were the only one in my life who actually gave a shit about me because mom and dad were to busy traveling to want to be parents and you weren't there when I needed you the most, you weren't there to answer my phone calls and texts you just disappeared
Jaden: I am
Lexie: let me guess sorry well sorry isn't going to fix what's broken
(Jaden stays quiet and parks in front of ihop)
Lexie's pov
We walked into I hop where a hostess sat us at a table and gave us some menus to look at what we were going to order but I already knew what I wanted because my order from here doesn't change and when the waitress walked over to us I was about to place my order but Jaden beat me to it.
End of pov
Jaden: she'll have the chocolate chip pancakes and we'll get the mozzarella sticks as an appetizer please
Waitress: coming right up rockstar (winks at him)
Lexie: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
(She pretends to gag and Jaden tries not to laugh while the waitress walks away)
Jaden: okay so besides LA have you thought about joining social media?
Lexie: I don't know Jaden I mean I get that you guys do it but if I do it I am just gonna he known as Jaden hossler's little sister
Jaden: that's not true you could make a name for yourself too, what about going back to dance I think it would be really good for you
Lexie: I don't want to go back to dance
Jaden: why not? You were so good at it and you loved it
Lexie: exactly loved as in past tense
Jaden: oh come on your gonna tell me that not even a tiny part of you wants to dance again
Lexie: nope that part of my life is over
Jaden: so then what do you want to do?
Lexie: I don't know
Jaden: well I'll give you some time to think about it but if you haven't figured it out I am putting you back in dance
Lexie: (scoffs) your seriously gonna force me to go back to dance?
Jaden: yup
Lexie's pov
I rolled my eyes after Jaden said that because he's just acting so casual right now and pretending like everything is fine between us when it's not. I am sorry but I can't just sit here with him and put on a happy face and pretend like I don't want to scream at him for not being there when I needed him... for not being there when Jake... no Lexie your not going to think about it, he's gone now, he's out of your life and he doesn't have control over you anymore. Jaden kept trying to make small talk with me until the waitress came and brought the food and we finished eating and started driving to the studio. This time I just blasted the radio with the windows down to avoid any conversation with Jaden until he pulled up to this place called DTA records and got out of the car and I followed him inside.
End of pov
Travis: ay Jaden what's up bro (daps him up)
Jaden: hey Travis I am good and there's someone I want you to meet (puts his arm around Lexie) this is my little sister Lexie, Lexie this is
Lexie: Travis barker from blink 182 hi (smiles)
Travis: (smiles) I am guessing your a fan
Lexie: yeah how do you know Jaden?
Jaden: (face palms) he's my drummer and manager lex how do you not know this
Lexie: you think I actually pay attention when you talk? That's cute
(Colson opens the door to the studio next)
MGK: hey Jaden you ready to record pray?
Lexie: oh my gosh your MGK! Hi I am Lexie, Jaden's sister and I have to say bloody valentine and my ex best friend are like my favorite songs
Jaden: chill lex I didn't know you were such a fan (laughs)
Lexie: there's a lot you don't know Jaden
MGK: aw thanks I appreciate it kid and It's nice to finally meet you, I was wondering when Jaden would bring you around here
Lexie: yeah I guess that's my fault I kept telling him I didn't want to go to the studio with him
MGK: oh okay well are you ready to see your brother in action?
Lexie: sure I guess...
Jaden: alright I am gonna get in the booth and you can sit on one of the couches and chill lex
Lexie: okay
(Jaden walks into the sound booth and puts the headphones on)
Travis: so are we doing pray first?
Jaden: yeah
Travis: alright start whenever your ready
Lexie's pov
I was just planning on going on my phone the whole time but then I heard the first few lyrics to Jaden's song and It caught my attention so I looked up at him in the booth singing the song and I knew what it was about and I got flashbacks to the day that I found him past out on the bathroom floor he was seventeen at the time and I was twelve and had just gotten home from playing at a friends house and I went to his room to look for him and saw him just laying there his body was cold, his eyes were closed and there was a faint pulse. I screamed for our nanny to call 911 and the ambulance took him away, I didn't sleep that night or the night after that In fact the only time I actually slept after that was when I went to the hospital to see him and he was awake and I cried in his arms and I was angry at him too for trying to leave me and that was when he promised me he was never going to do it again and that he was never going to leave me... but he broke that promise I mean sure he's alive which I am extremely grateful for him no matter what but he still left me. He left me alone and when Jake did what he did to me, and when he spread all the rumors that turned my friends from kindergarten against me he didn't answer his phone and I was so hurt that I drowned it with drugs, alcohol and parties. I chose to numb the pain because if I didn't... if I let myself feel the pain then maybe I would be the one praying to die in my sleep. I shook that thought out of my head I couldn't do that no matter how bad things get I won't let myself get to that point or will I? Truth is I am saying that now but I don't know if I actually believe it. Jaden finally stopped singing pray and then started singing so what, comatose, and a few other released ones and I wish I could say that I was paying attention to his voice because it would have been a lot easier doing that then being trapped in my never ending thoughts. I think they caught on to me because the next thing I heard was Jaden calling my name.
End of pov
Lexie: sorry what did you say?
Jaden: do you want to try getting in the booth and free style or something
Lexie: I don't know... I definitely don't have a voice like you and I am not gonna embarrass myself in front of mgk or Travis
Jaden: you won't trust me just go in and see if you can come up with anything
Lexie: (sighs) your not going to let this go are you?
Jaden: nope
Lexie: okay (walks over to the booth and puts the headphones on)
Travis: ready?
Lexie: no but you could just give me a beat and I'll see if I can come up with anything
Travis: okay
Lexie: wait actually can I do a cover of something?
MGK: yeah go for it
Lexie: okay
Lexie's pov
I put the headphones on and I was sitting on the stool when I am idea came to my mind, what If I allow myself to open up to Jaden without really opening up to him so I think I am gonna do little do you know by Alex and sierra it's an old song but it describes a little bit of how I feel and then Travis put on a soft melody and I closed my eyes and started singing.
End of pov
Lexie: little do you know how I am breaking when you fall asleep, little do you know I am still haunted by the memory, little do you know I am trying to pick myself up piece by piece, little do you know I just need a little more time underneath it all I am held captive by the hole inside, I have been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind, I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight little do you know I need a little more time (voice cracks and she has a few tears streaming down her face and takes off the headphones and puts it back on the stand and wipes her tears and walks outside of the booth)
Travis: so talent definitely runs in the family that was great mini hossler
Lexie: thanks but your probably just saying that I am not talented
Jaden: are you kidding I have never heard you sing like that, that was great sis (hugs her)
MGK: yeah you could have a bright future if you go down this path
Lexie: thanks but I think there should only be one hossler in the music industry and that's Jaden
Jaden's pov
After Lexie said that I pulled her in for a hug again because I genuinely don't think she sees how talented she really is. It's like she's lost all her confidence and doesn't know who she is anymore and I need to help her find herself again. This is the first time I have seen her let down her wall other then the night she had the nightmare and she's so close to letting them down but I know she's fighting it. She might not know it but I know she's just battling herself and her thoughts right now, I need her to open up to me. I need her to tell me everything that happened so I know how to help her. Once Lexie was done singing I went back into the booth to do a few more unreleased songs and we called it a day and I decided to take lex to cold stone for some ice cream.
End of pov
At cold stone
Lexie: I meant what I said well sang (takes a bite of cookie dough ice cream)
Jaden: I know but which part are you talking about right now?
Lexie: the part about forgiving you.. I know I give you attitude all the time and I act like a bitch to you compared to the other boys... I am sorry (tears in her eyes) when you were singing pray I just remembered what it felt like seeing you in the bathroom thinking that I had lost you
Jaden: hey hey you didn't lose me lex okay I am right here baby (pulls her in for a hug)
Lexie: but I did lose you, I lost you to a damn app, I lost you to the fans, I lost you to the boys, to LA to everyone, you promised that you would never leave me and you did (cries)
Jaden's pov
Lexie started crying and I could see Fletcher parking his car and I mentally cursed because I didn't post anything about us being here so how the fuck did he find us. He started walking up to us and I quickly picked up Lexie and put my hoodie on her because I wasn't about to let all of Hollywood see her in the midst of a breakdown and started walking back to my car and was opening the door when fletcher came up to us.
End of pov
Fletcher: hey Jaden how are you guys doing today?
Jaden: you know what fletch I am gonna be honest right now isn't a great time and I just want to get home
Fletcher: alright Jaden have a good one
Jaden: thanks for understanding bro
(Puts Lexie In the car)
Lexie's pov
I can't believe I just broke down in public like that. I didn't think I would do it but as I was talking to Jaden my emotions took over and I haven't had anything to numb myself today so I couldn't help it. Jaden got in the car and we started driving but he held my hand and just let look out the window with tears streaming down my face. Thirty minutes later we pulled up to the house and opened the front door and I just went to my room and closed the door and took my vape pen and took a few hits but it wasn't doing anything so I threw it out of anger. I wanted to drink but I didn't have the strength to sneak out anywhere or desire to get caught, and I know if I go downstairs and try to sneak a white claw I am for sure going to get caught, maybe if I take a nice hot bath I'll calm down so that's what I did. I took the sweatshirt off and stripped out of my clothes and walked over to my bathroom and turned the hot water and just let myself soak in the bath tub when I looked across from me and saw my razor... should I?
End of pov
Downstairs
Josh: where did Lexie go?
Jaden: to her room (sighs)
Griffin: how did it go?
Jaden: I mean she let down her walls a little bit not a lot but a little and that's progress at the studio and then a little bit more when we went to get ice cream but she started crying and fletcher was coming up to us so I picked her up and tried to get her in the car before fletcher asked anything invasive
Bryce: what did she say to you?
Jaden: she wants to forgive me but she's having a hard time forgetting that I left her but guys I know Lexie's hiding something from us, I could see it in her eyes like this mental battle in her head and I want to know what it is but I don't want to push her either
Quinton: maybe your going to have to Jaden if it's that serious then your gonna have to make her open up to you or she could do something she ends up regretting
Jaden: I don't want to think about that Quinton
Josh: he has a point though Lexie needs to talk to us about it or you at least
Jaden: she will it's just gonna take time
Noah: if you're sure this is the best approach then okay
Scene change
Lexie's pov
I stared at the razor that was in my hand contemplating on just making one cut and I was tempted to and I was about to just as I heard a knock on the bathroom door and I put the razor down and let the water drain while I wrapped a towel around me.
End of pov
Lexie: I'll be right out
Blake: okay just wanted to make sure you were okay, Jaden was telling us what happened today
Lexie: oh uh I am good just gonna get dressed and I'll meet you guys downstairs
Blake: okay
Lexie's pov
I heard Blake's footsteps go down the stairs and walked back to my room and changed info a pajama shirt with some shorts and kept my hair wrapped in a towel and walked downstairs to see the boys watching tv and I walked over to Jaden and just curled up to him without saying a word.
End of pov
Jaden: feeling better?
(Lexie nods her head and just wraps her arms around him)
Lexie: (mumbles) I love you Jae
Jaden: I love you too princess (kisses her head)
Josh: aww sibling goals!
Lexie: shut up josh (throws a pillow at him)
Josh: oh now your asking for it (runs to her and picks her up and starts tickling her)
Lexie: s s stop I c can't b breathe (laughs) j Jaden help!
Jaden: nah I am good (takes his phone and starts recording them and post it on his story)
Lexie: p p please j josh s stop!!
Josh: say I am your favorite
Lexie: n n no
Josh: okay (keeps tickling her)
Lexie: f f fine j just a stop tickling her
(Josh stops)
Lexie: Bryce is my favorite (gets off of Jaden and starts running)
Josh: come back here you little rat!! (Chases after her)
Lexie: (squeals) protect me griffin!! (Hides behind him)
Griffin: what did you do?
Lexie: I said Bryce was my favorite
Bryce: ay let's go!!
Josh: I know she's behind you griffin now hand her over and no one needs to get hurt
Griffin: Lexie run I'll hold him off for as long as I can
Lexie: okay!
(Lexie Starts running around the house until josh catches her again)
Josh: so what was that missy
Lexie: fine your my favorite there I said i surrender now put me down
Josh: okay
(He carries her to the couch and sits her down on it while Jaden is just laughing and got the whole thing on video and posted it)
Lexie's pov
I was sitting in between josh and Jaden on the couch and they were putting on a movie but I guess the break down plus running around made me more tired then I thought and I closed my eyes ten minutes into the movie.
End of pov

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