ANOTHER HYUNGIE

good bye

   SUGA          

        I have mixed emotions upon hearing the story behind hyungie, I sympathize with Tae and felt heartbroken, then felt devastated that he had to go through that gruesome event in his life. But feel guilty because deep inside I felt relieved that hyungie is not with Tae and that I have a chance to love him and make him mine. But also worried thinking that would he be willing to love someone else besides his hyungie.

     Then his father mentioned that Tae may be finally ready to move on, it gave me hope.

     "By the way Yoongi, can I talk to you in private." Mr. Kim said tapping my shoulder and motioning me to follow him into I think his office.

     "Minie, will you be ok?" 

     "Don't worry Yoongi I will take care of him." Mrs.Kim replied still rubbing Jimin's back and whispering consoling words to him. I just nodded smiled back and followed Mr.Kim, who is now standing in the open door waiting for me to follow him.

      I was right it was a home office and a spacious one at that. I made my eye roam around the office noticing framed pictures of the family and some people with them that I don't recognize. My eyes landed on a framed picture of a young Tae with a boy beside him who looks very similar to me but with a more muscular build than I have.

      "That's Tae with Yoongi, it's funny how uncanny you are to him you two even share the same name. He is a good kid, we loved him as one of our sons. His passing left all of us with an empty space in our hearts but we did cope, unlike Tae." Mr. Kim sat down in his office chair behind his desk and pointed the chair in front of his desk for me to sit on.

      "Tae told me about how his hyungie and I are alike but from that photo, I think his hyungie is more handsome than me, he even told me that I might be hyungie's soulmate." 

       "Anyway, earlier I sneaked into my son's room to read some of the messages he sent to Yoongi. It seems that in my son's mind hyungie is pushing him away to love someone else."

      "Really, so that cellphone is like a diary that he writes in for hyungie." that was actually fascinating how my angel thought of that using his late ex-boyfriend's phone to talk to him, how fascinating but still sad.

      "Yes, that's right. I gave him the phone and rock a few years ago. I remember it, it was you who actually made us think that giving him back his hyungie was the best thing to do for his sanity."

     "That answers it."I chuckle a little because, for years now, the package that changes Tae is a mystery to me. "I was always curious about what that box was, it was his hyungie after all."

     "Well back from what I have read, I think my son is in love with you but he refuses to accept it because he feels that he's cheating on his hyungie." 

     Did I just hear him right? Wait my angel is in love with me, well this is a reveal. But how, when, hold up Tae is in love with me. Why do my cheeks hurt? Oh, Ha! I'm smiling so much.

      "So I guess from the way you are smiling and speechless you also have feelings for my son, Yoongi." the old man is grinning from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling like he had seen angel's coming down on heaven.

      "I do sir, but I'm actually in the process of getting over your son. How can I explain this, it's just I have been hurt repeatedly every time he chose hyungie over me, sir." I had to tell him, the man is old and false hope is bad for one's heart. It's hard enough to compete with a person that I knew was alive but now it will be impossible to compete with someone who sacrificed his life for the safety of his loved one. "And honestly sir, it was hard to compete with hyungie when I knew he was alive but I think I don't have a chance to replace him in your son's heart. I can't compete with a hero, hyungie gave the ultimate sacrifice for love, he gave up his life for Tae." I do hate disappointing people, as a look at the old man on the other side of the table clearly shows that he is disappointed. But I can't do anything if Tae won't accept me and let me love him the way he should be loved and I don't know how long I can wait. Before Mr. Kim called I was honestly considering moving on and to accept Hobi's advice.

       " I know that, but even hyungie would not want Tae to be like this forever. We know that hyungie would want Tae to go on with his life, to be happy, to love and be loved once again." I can see his eyes desperate to help his son, to find a way for Tae to be happy again, to open his heart. "Please... can you at least try one more time...I'm asking you, no wait...I'm begging you. Just try one more time, I know it will work out this time his heart is opening up if you try to let him go he might lose his heart forever."

      " I'm not promising you anything sir, but I will always be there for your son no matter what." I'm honestly scared for myself I don't know if I can handle it when Tae will choose hyungie again, my heart has been aching for years there is only a limit on one man can take. But don't get me wrong I do love my angel with all my heart but even though I love him I can't wait forever for a man that won't love.

 ____________________________________

           Tae is seated on the beach hidden from everyone else in the nearby park staring at the sunset, the same place he and Yoongi go to when he was still alive. The place Yoongi confessed his feelings to him, the place where they talk about their future, the place they shared their first kiss, and now the place Tae goes to, to somehow still feel Yoongi's presence.

        "Hyungie Happy Anniversary, it has been a decade but I still miss you...Passed by your house earlier just passed by, I know your parents want to see me but I'm not ready to see them." He is holding a rock caressing it like he is holding a person's hand. "I'm not ready because I am responsible for why you are not here with us today. If only I did not run and stayed there with you." he crouches holding the rock rubbing it on his cheeks, tears wetting the rock he is holding. He laid on the sand getting tired from crying but not stopping even though it hurts him physically causing him to lose all his strength " and I'm sorry that I'm in love with somebody else, hyungie I'm so so so sorry." with all his emotion pouring out all at once his body can't take it anymore he feels like he's going to faint he falls down on the sand, tears flowing while clutching the small rock in his hand not letting it go.

       "Tae, I hope you know that no one is blaming you for what happened to me. Please stop blaming yourself for what happened to me, baby.  You need to move on, always remember it's not your fault. Please stop feeling guilty, all I want is for you to live your life to the fullest and be happy. There is a person waiting for you to love him you should open your heart to him he is a good guy, he loves you as I loved you. And I know that you love him too, don't hold it back just let everything go and open your heart baby, please love again. Goodbye Tae."

     "Hyungie...?" It was the last word Tae said before he totally lost consciousness.

     "There is someone unconscious here," a policeman found Tae while they were doing their routine patrol around the vicinity because of the seclusion of the place they would always inspect it making sure no one is doing anything illegal.

     "I'll call for an ambulance." the other officer said running to their police car to radio for help.

     "I know this guy, it's Kim Taehyung. How did he end up here? Poor kid must still be heartbroken about Yoongi's death." the first officer stated kneeling down on the unconscious man,  after checking for injuries and have not found any. The officer carried Tae to their police car and waited for the ambulance to arrive.