the thirteenth doctor & you

spending christmas alone.

hi hello. it's been months. i apologise. but the trailer for the new years day special dropped and I just !!!!!!!!!! have this little christmasy angsty thing. hopefully I will publish more Christmas later on x

-x-

Christmas had always been your favourite time of year. It was the only time of year that ALL of your family would travel down to see you. Where your cousins, aunts and uncles would turn up on your doorstep with suitcases and pre-made food. Your grandparents would make the sweets and your little cousins would bring games you could only play in the pool. It was hot during this time of year, so everyone HAD to live in the pool, otherwise, it would feel like you were in the lower depths of hell while trying to eat breakfast. You never felt alone at Christmas, it was really the only time that you felt like everyone made an effort to actually come and talk to you. See how your year went, did you do well in school? How's the job? Got a boyfriend yet? What about that television show you're always on about?

But this year ... this year was different. You couldn't help but feel more alone and it would be a little bit depressing if you didn't know the reason why. Even with Christmas music being played slightly louder than it should have been, the sound of happy screams and squeals from your cousins and their friends jumping in and out of the water and tummy's slapping into it, to your parents chatting to their siblings and friends, you weren't alone at all. But you just couldn't help but feel that someone was missing. You had placed yourself on the furthest corner of the backyard - sitting with your legs dipped into the pool and staring intently down at the water.

It had almost been an entire year without her. 354 days since you had last seen the Doctor and you still had no idea where she had disappeared too. You had wanted to stay in Sheffield with Yaz and the others to find out, but you needed to get home, needed a break from everything that had happened. However, it ended up being a lot tricky than you realised when you remembered you didn't have your passport on you. Luckily your parents had come to expect the weird and hard to explain situations you had been going through for the past year and a half. (Of course, they were concerned as to HOW you got to England without it in the first place, but you had a feeling that they knew it had something to do with the woman you constantly spoke of).

You were lost in your own thoughts, a sinking feeling in the depths of your stomach making it hard to keep the luxury roast lunch down - when your name being called by your mother caused your head to snap up. "Your phones been ringing non stop!" She called as she rested her arms on the pool fence, the hand which held your mobile - was stretched out towards you. "A couple of unknown numbers but the last one said it was Yaz!" It was with that name that you bolted up and onto your feet, almost slipping on the wet ground.

"What did she say?" You questioned but you saw your mother's shoulders shrug and your whole body sunk. "I think she left a voicemail though." You perked up and snatched your phone out of her hand with a soft thank you and pressed the phone against your ear.

And it was with an excruciating couple of seconds going through the, you have ONE new voice message ... before it beeped ..."It's Yaz, just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas. We're thinking about you, and we miss you." A soft smile crossed your lips. "If I"m thinking about her, then you are definitely thinking about her..." You couldn't help but nod your head at no one in particular, just stood leaning against the glass fence and watched as your cousins continued to dive into the shallow end of the pool, while their parents kept yelling at them to stop it. "Just so you know, you might want to think about coming back soon..." A frown took hold. "I think I've found something, something to do with the Da..." Then the line went dead.

You stared off into the distance for a good thirty seconds. You didn't even realise that your mother was calling your name again before you turned around - wet hair falling into your eyes. "What? What is it?" Your mum frowned, her voice dropped an octave then, whispering... "Did Yaz mention her?" Your parents had come to terms with the fact that if they even said the word Doctor you would probably break down and sob. Nodding your head, your eyes pooled with tears and your mother opened the gate, pulling you into a hug. "Oh, sweetheart."

"I have ... I have to go back." You mumbled burying your face into her shoulder. "I need to go back to Sheffield. I don't want to be alone anymore..." There was silence between the pair of you for a couple of seconds. Your mum probably looking over at your dad, that silence conversation they could pull off without a problem. Almost like what you and the Doctor could do.

"Okay." Mum started to rub circles into your bareback and you clutched your phone to your chest for dear life, almost like you didn't want to miss Yaz's call again. "Okay, we'll talk about it after Christmas."