Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

138

I pushed myself forward through the dark, black ink. The water swished around me, only being lit up by the moon. It was deep, the ocean. My legs worked around, helping me dive under to see where the lost surf board was.

But then I didn't come back up. My body wouldn't let me; it was like someone was keeping me down. I could see the board, far, far down. Way too deep for me to get.

I understood why she told me to look for it after the accident. I went into the waves with too much confidence.

I could feel myself growing conscious in my outer body, yet my brain wouldn't let me realize it was a dream. A bad one. I could easily open my eyes, but it wouldn't let me. It's like it wanted me to finish this nightmare.

My breathing in my outer body started to get faster, as if it was trying to intimidate how I was out of breath while swimming. Or maybe because I was scared. Scared of the ocean. That was an underlying fear of mine.

As I stayed under the water, my fear grew. My heart pounded against my chest and I wasn't sure if it was happening to my outer body, too.

I gazed around the water, the black ink swallowing me whole. The moonlight disappeared, activating my panic mode. I felt the water slip through my fingers as I was pulled down.

_____

I jolt awake, realizing I was already half conscious before then. I lift my tired eyelids, too afraid to keep them closed in case I fell asleep again.

I check my phone, reading the notifications but not even trying to respond to them. My state of mind was not something okay to socialize with today.

At least the nightmare didn't scare me. It was one of those bearable ones that freaked me out for like a minute and then I was okay again. Easy enough to handle.

I got up, sliding on some jeans and a purple hoodie along with a beanie. It was a lazy day, what can I say?

I grab my bag and trudge down the steps, greeting my mom in the kitchen. It feels like I haven't done this is so long, but it was only last week.

"Morning mom," I kiss her cheek, "Love you."

"Not hungry?"

"No."

"Okay, have a good day. Love you, too. Oh- wait, Jisung?"

I stop in my tracks, turning back toward her. "Yeah?"

She bites her lip before speaking. "Your father and Heetuk are getting his stuff today. I just wanted to let you know."

I nod, clenching my jaw and saying nothing. Stepping outside of my house, I see Changbin already by my driveway. I wave and jog over to walk with him.

"You good?"

"He's moving back in today." I stare down at the sidewalk, watching my feet move.

Changbin doesn't respond. He wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close and letting me know he was there. He's a better brother than Heetuk could ever be.