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by CarmenKB

by CarmenKB

I tried being happy. I did. But every second alone, I went deeper into my head.

"Hey, Mina?" I call the girl sitting next to me. I was in art class, staring at my blank canvas.

"What's up?" She questions, looking over to me. She glances down at my canvas, but doesn't say anything about it.

"I need help. With painting, I mean. I don't get the assignment."

"Oh! Um... actually, I don't really know. It was kind of confusing," she awkwardly smiles. "She said it had to have a secret inside of it. A personal one. Maybe try painting a landscape and hiding something within? Or a something that has another meaning to it."

"Hm," I respond. I guess it wasn't much of a response. "Thanks. I'll try doing that. Uh, what are you painting?" I'm trying not to think too much today.

"A field of purple flowers. I think I'm going to paint two moons, but almost like the second one is in another universe? I don't know, something like that."

"What's the meaning behind it?"

"Well, Han Jisung, it wouldn't be called a secret painting if it didn't have a secret," she winks, smiling brightly.

I stare at my lunch, not bothering to even eat it. I don't know why I brought it. The thought of eating made me feel sick. I was trying a lot today, but I wasn't trying to make myself throw up.

"Hey," Minho wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry," I respond, my mood dropping by the second. "You know what? I think I'm just going to go work on this painting. I didn't get much done in class."

"Are you-"

I stand, smiling and waving off whatever he was going to say. It was obvious what he was going to say, and I didn't want to lie again. "I'll see you guys later." I lean down and kiss his cheek before heading off.

I pick up a thinner brush, caressing my lines with a blue, almost black. Mrs.Im sits at her desk, eating her own lunch.

"Jisung? Is everything alright at home?"

The question sends chills down my spine. I look up, trying to relax my body. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Just wondering. How's Heetuk?"

"He's good."

"That's good."

Fuckin vague, Jisung.

I check the time, sighing out of relief when I see I have five minutes left. I wipe an itch on my cheek, packing up my canvas. After cleaning my table and my hands, I leave with a quick bye to my teacher.

I walk into the lunchroom, sitting back at the table while I waited. I just wanted to walk with Felix to class and go home.

"Angel," Minho giggles, turning my head gently with the tips of his fingers. "You have paint on your face." He brushes his thumb lightly over my cheek.

"I do?" I bring my own hand to my face, touching where his hand had been. "Where?"

"I'll get it." He licks his thumb, wiping my skin and leaving a small trail of cold spit.

"That was hot," Felix whispers loudly, everyone looking over to him. He gasps and slaps his hand over his mouth. "I didn't mean to say that out loud!"

"Jeez, in front of your boyfriend? You're a whore, Lee Felix," Minho jokes, everyone laughing along with him.

"Yeah, what the hell!" Changbin pouts, crossing his arms and glaring. "You never call me hot."

"I always call you hot, bun," Felix teases, holding onto Changbin's stubby, but buff, arm. He kisses his cheek, ears still ablaze.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Shoo, you little rodent. Go to your other boyfriend. Coach Lau needs me to set up some things in the gym, so I gotta go. Love you~"

"Love you, too, asshole. Don't trip."