Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

169

Euphoria.

Relief washes over my limbs. My hands are trembling while I hold onto his hair. I stare up at the blankets, my vision blurry with tears.

"Good boy, baby. There you go," Minho reassures softly, brushing my hair back. "Let's get cleaned up, yeah?"

He skillfully gets me from under the fort, holding me like a koala. We were lucky his parents weren't home or they'd be questioning a lot.

He sets me on the bathroom counter. Getting a washcloth, he runs it under the tap to wet it. Before he can do anything, I grab his wrist. He looks at me, worried he did something wrong.

"Can... can I help you?"

His eyes relax. "You don't have to. I know you're tired. It's okay."

"No, I want to. Please, let me." Begging felt odd on my tongue, but I was certain that I wanted to help. I get off the counter, matching his height and waiting for permission.

"Alright. Don't force yourself though. You can stop at any time."

I nod, slowly getting to my knees. To say I was nervous was an understatement, but I was determined as well. I want to make him feel good in ways he couldn't think of.
Now was my chance.

-

We're both sitting on the floor, our ears flushed with embarrassment. There was a slight bitterness on my tongue, but I couldn't really focus on that when we... yeah.

"Let's take a shower. It'll be easier than using a cloth. You can go first," he offers, smiling and taking my hand in his.

I laugh, shaking my head. "You seriously want to shower alone after that?"

"No, but I don't know what you're comfortable with. We've been dating for awhile, but this is... you know... the first time we've done something that we've been entirely vulnerable with each other."

"True. I appreciate the gesture, but we can shower together. It saves water."

It's his turn to laugh. "You're worried about saving water?"

"Don't judge."

-

I step in first, the warm water only relaxing me further. I sigh, waiting for Minho to join. It was still quite embarrassing, but we've seen each other almost completely naked many times. This time, we just knew the ins and outs of it.

He steps in, a giddiness to his steps. "I'm cold. Move over."

I giggle, letting him stand under the water. I wrap my arms around his torso, the water making my hair fall in front of my face.

"Thank you."

He hums, holding me close. "For what, angel?"

"Being so kind and taking care of me. I know you're my boyfriend and all, but some people aren't so sweet when it comes to consent."

"...are you speaking from experience or a genuine thought?"

I bite my lip. We really haven't talked much about our past. I guess a few parts were more important than I thought. "Remember Kyungho?"

His grip on me tightens. "What about him?"

"The rumor about us having sex and all."

"Yeah, and?"

"Well he... we were drunk, you know? And we were making out. He was touching me a lot, and I couldn't really tell him to stop. It never really bothered me then. It's just an example because it was uncomfortable. I don't blame him for that. We weren't in our right minds."

"Does it bother you now?"

"What?"

"You said it never bothered you then. Does it bother you now?"

"No. It's just an example."

"But if you brought it up when we were talking about consent, it makes it seem like it bothers you. He bullied you, Jisung. He got in your face and hit you. How does it not bother you?"

"I-I don't want to talk about this anymore."

I push away from his chest, keeping my eyes down. He wasn't understanding what I was saying. I'm aware that Kyungho was a bully, but at that time, he was just another guy. And he never touched me sexually while in his clear head.

"Ji-"

I step out of the shower, grabbing a towel and covering myself up. I didn't care that I wasn't fully clean. Before I can grab my clothes, Minho wraps his arms around me to keep me in place.

"I'm sorry. The thought of him really gets under my skin because of what he did to you. If that memory at the party doesn't bother you, then okay. You can always talk to me and tell me otherwise if it changes."

I nod, not trusting my voice.

"Do you want to finish the shower or dry off?"

I hold up two fingers, not realizing how bad I was shaking. He grasps my hand, spinning me around. I look up at him, seeing guilt dance in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have questioned your emotions. You know yourself best."

"I forgive you. Let's get dressed; I'm cold."

"You can wear my clothes. I don't want you getting back into dirty ones."

"Who said I needed your permission? As far as I know, your closet is my closet."