Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

3

"Jisung," Minho states firmly, pulling my attention away from the wall my eyes had settled on.

I look at him, but he's blurry. Quickly wiping my eyes, he looks at me with concern.

"What's the matter?" his voice is soft which just puts more pressure on my chest.

I look away from him again, ignoring his words. When I try to breathe away the tears like earlier, it doesn't work. Hiding my head in my hands, I listen to the sounds around me. More that a dozen pens and pencils writing in notebooks. The teacher's voice boringly explaining previous lessons that we had learned in middle school.

An arm slides around my waist, but I let him comfort me this time. I feel so alone, but he makes me happier that someone's here instead of just being an awkward shadow.

My head moves from my hands to his chest while he soothes me by rubbing my back. Tears flow out smoothly. No sobs, just the droplets of water.

After I calm myself down, I pull away from his grasp, feeling the cold bite my body after his warmth is swished away. I felt embarrassed, knowing that I put even the slightest amount of concern in him. He shouldn't be concerned about me. I'm sure he has more important things to worry about than some stupid kid.

"Are you okay?" he questions, trying to look me in the eyes after I fix my gaze on the ground between us.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry," I apologize, my cheeks ablaze from my humiliation.

"Why are you apologizing?" he sounded tired. Tired of me? Probably- shut up Jisung. You're going to make yourself cry again and you don't need that right now. Fucking idiot.

"You shouldn't have to deal with me," I mutter, the entire situation going on unnoticed by both the teacher and the students.

"I'm not 'dealing' with you. I want to help you," he questions, sounding as sincere as can be.

"Why? We're not friends," I say, flinching at how mean that sounded. We're not friends, are we? What if he thinks we are? I probably just made him feel terrible.

"I'd like to be," he responds, "even though we aren't friends, you seem like a good person. You shouldn't be having to deal with things that make you cry. You don't deserve it."

I do deserve it.

I stay silent, debating on what I should say. How are you supposed to respond to that? Thanks? I'm actually a horrible person?

"Here," he pulls out a pen and rips out a corner of his notebook paper, writing something down on it. "If you ever want to talk to someone, it doesn't matter what about, message me. If you don't, that's okay. Not everyone is comfortable opening up to a somewhat stranger."

He slides the small paper towards me and sends a small, cute smile towards me. Cute? Oof, that was bold, Jisung.

"Thank you, I really appreciate hyung," I answer, smiling at the small gesture. Well, to other people it would be small. To me, it was quite an extraordinary moment.

"Anytime," he nods his head and finally, we both begin to pay attention to the lesson being taught. Although we're just now being friends, my heart tugs towards him. Like I just want to be close to him. Is this just how it feels to finally have a friend who I can actually accept that he cares for me? I'm not sure how I feel anymore. Emotions are not my forte.