Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

97

Minho wakes up looking disheveled. I look over, smiling at him, "good morning." My words were a bit slurred, but I could only hope that he thought it was because I just woke up.

He hums, "morning."

I sit there a moment, cold still nipping at my arms before I just decide to get up. He tries protesting, but I ignore it. I grab clothes, stumbling my way to the bathroom.

When I looked in the mirror, I let out the loudest 'oh fuck' I could without disturbing my mother or Minho. My hair wasn't that bad. My face was a different story. My eyes were trimmed red, contrasting greatly to my pale face and the dark bags under my eyes. I looked like I was dying.

Shaking it off, I got dressed, splashing my face with water. I scrubbed my cheeks with the towel, trying to get the color to come back, but it only made me look sick.

When I go back to my room, Minho was struggling to pull over a sweatshirt from my closet over his head. I pull it down from the back, smiling lightly at his drowsiness.

"Thanks," he says, turning to me and pecking my lips. I jumped right out of my skin at the contact, but quickly covered it up by kissing him again.

-

When we make it to school, I stare at his dashboard in the car. Why couldn't I be normal? Or at least have less problems. I feel like everything is falling down one by one, destroying the little hope I had of being happy.

Minho gets out, not realizing I hadn't moved. Soon enough, he opens my door, questioning why I wasn't coming.

"I was waiting for you to open the door for me. Gotta be a gentleman," I force out a giggle, getting out and locking my hand with his.

My eyelids were not cooperating with me, falling closed every ten seconds even when I was walking alongside Minho.

Suddenly, my foot caught on the sidewalk, making me fall forward, but I was quickly held to Minho's chest. A blush blooms on my ears, embarrassment overcoming me. He just laughs, patting my head.

The first few classes flew by, me not even doing anything in art class. When lunch time came, I shared a look with Chan. He knew I didn't sleep, and I honestly was too tired to get scolded by him. I slouched against the table, my head dipped forward while my eyes closed.

My friends didn't question it, knowing that we all got tired sometimes. It was like a haziness took over my mind, sending me back into the nightmare that had occurred once. I didn't notice Minho stroking my back soothingly or Hyunjin making jokes.

It was only when Jeongin accidentally kicked me under the table that I jumped so hard, my knee hit the table, creating a loud boom across the conversations. They all looked at me, questioning what was wrong.

"Sorry," I say, putting my hand in front of my face and hiding from them. If only I had a beanie that I could pull over my face for a mask.

"Angel, did you sleep?" Minho whispers to me.

Hesitantly, I shake my head no, not wanting to lie and cause a problem when it was clear that I hadn't slept.

"Why? Nightmare?" He questions, setting a hand on my arm only for me to flinch away. The feeling I felt in the dream was coexisting in my head.

"Yeah," I softly breathe out, not wanting to cry in front of all of them.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" His voice had a slight pout to it, anger hidden within.

"Because you were tired."

"Jisung, I've told you multiple times-"

"Multiple times to what, Minho?" I bark back loudly, not meaning to cause a scene. "To wake you up whenever it happens? I'm not going to do that. We may have had a deal, but fuck that. You don't think I know how hard you work? I know you're tired. I'm not going to cause you worry because of a childish nightmare."

"Jesus, Jisung, you're acting like a child right now. All I want is for you to come to me when there's a problem. You're my boyfriend. I'm supposed to take care of you. You act like I'm going to be mad at you when clearly I just want to help."

"I'm not a baby, Minho. I've been dealing with these things long before I met you. If I could handle it then, I can handle it now."

"I never said you couldn't. All I'm saying is that I want to help. I just want to help my suffering boyfriend because it hurts me to see him affected so badly by this."

"Then maybe you should get a better one that actually listens," I hiss, standing up and quickly making my way to the art room.

But it didn't stop there. I heard footsteps hot on my tail. Whipping around in the empty hallway, I face him.

"What."

His face softens, "Jisung, please, don't run away from me. I-I just... I want to help you. I'm sorry if I'm so pushy with you telling me about your nightmares. I just get so worried because I don't want you to be alone. I know you feel alone a lot, you've told me. Right when we first hung out. I want to be there for you, but it's so hard because you won't let me."

My angry expression fades away, tears replacing it, "I don't know how. I've been alone all my life. I don't want to be a bother." A tear trails down my cheek and he scoops me up into his arms.

"You're never a bother, never. I'm here now. All seven of us are here now. Alright? I'm sorry for causing an argument, especially in front of our friends."

I shake my head, "i-it's my fault, don't apologize. I'm sorry. I'm the one who got too defensive when you were trying to help and figure out what was going on."

"It's okay. It's both of our faults. We should probably apologize to the guys. We kind of disrupted their lunch. But first, you're going to tell me what happened, is that okay?"

I nod, "I woke up in a cold sweat. At first, I was going to wake you up, but I decided not to. You worked long yesterday and I knew that. I texted Channie hyung for a little bit, but that didn't really help. I just stayed up the rest of the night until you woke up for school."

He frowns, pulling away from the hug, "after school, we're going to your place and you're going to nap, okay? I'll be there the entire time. Do you mind telling me what the nightmare was about and why you kept flinching away from people today?"

"W-well, I was grabbed in it. By my feet. That's why at lunch I kneed the table. Jeongin accidentally kicked me under it. And I was kind of suffocated. That's, um, that's why I didn't have a shirt on this morning."

"What? I missed you being half naked?" He gasps in disbelief, whining right after when I flicked his forehead.

"Idiot."

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•I would like to apologize for all the angst 😩🙏🏽•