Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

108

"Ji..."

"...sung......he..."

"Fuck!" I gasp, my arms out of my control as they hit the wall next to me and Minho in the face.

"Ow- shit-" He ducks, holding his face. "Are you okay? Damn..."

I pull my knees to my chest, burying my head in my legs. I try to pull myself together, but everything was happening so fast that I was getting dizzy.

I feel him touch my shoulder, but my skin crawls away, flinching at any kind of contact.

"J-just give me a minute..."

Breathing in and out, I find a somewhat normal pattern. Seconds later, I shake my head and brush it off. It's stupid.

"I'm sorry," I look at him with worried eyes, "does it hurt? Where did I hit you?"

"Lovely, I'm fine-"

"Where did I hit you, Minho?" I demand, feeling a slight hatred for myself. I didn't feel normal. It felt all too wrong inside of my body. And I just felt guilty; it was an accident.

He sighs, caressing the spot near his temple. "Here, but I'm fine. It's okay; you were having a nightmare."

I chew the inside of my lip, tearing at the already scarred and raw skin. "I'm sorry." I reach up and kiss the spot, hugging his torso afterward.

"It's okay," he smiles, leaving a small peck on the side of my head. "Are you okay? That seemed pretty bad."

"Yeah, I'm okay. I honestly don't even remember what happened. It's weird; they don't usually disappear like that."

"It's a good thing, right? So you don't have to go through the night or day worrying about whatever it was you were dreaming about."

"I guess, yeah. Let's get back to sleep, you have work later today."

"Are you sure? We don't have to."

"I'm sure, Min. I'm really tired, as are you. Come on, pull the blankets back over us. I'm cold."

He chuckles light-heartedly, but does as I ask. "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight."

I knew he had fallen asleep quickly due to his light snores and calm breath that fluttered strands of my hair. I couldn't though. Anxiety pooled in my stomach.

I reach over to my nightstand, drinking some bad tasting water. Ew. I need to clean out that cup or something. That didn't taste like water. Settling down, my thoughts get ahead of me again.

Should I tell him about the dinner? That thought hasn't left my mind since my mom told me. Do I tell? Or do I keep it to myself? It shouldn't be all that big of a deal.

It was getting closer and closer. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't focus. My worries had made me physically sick without me realizing.

I don't know what to do about it. Tomorrow was Friday. The dinner was closing in on me, haunting my every last thought. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? Sure, we don't have family dinners. Sure, Heetuk hasn't been in our lives for a bit. It shouldn't be different. Things shouldn't have changed.

Oh, but they did.

They changed a lot. Things have changed too much, and I can't keep up. I'm drowning in anxiety. I'm overwhelmed with fear.

And I'm just so, so, so tired.