Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

85

I step inside the house, looking back at Minho before closing the door. I could hear faint talking from living room. An overbearing nauseous feeling took over my body as I walked up the stairs.

"Jisung?" My mom calls, making me pause on the steps. I turn back, looking at she steps closer to me, "come back down when you're done, okay?"

I nod before stepping a slower pace, wanting to avoid it as long as I could. The fear and pain in my heart was just too much. I just wanted to wake up again and go to school. I wanted the English lesson to last just a bit longer.

I make it to my room, throwing my bag to the floor. I pull out my phone, trying to message someone, anyone, to distract myself for one or two minutes, but nothing came to mind.

Here goes nothing. Just hold your breath and it'll be over before you know it.

I creep back down the stairs, my hands already beginning to tremble. Walking into the room, I sit next to my mom who was on the couch. It was the furthest I could sit away from him.

"Now that we're all here, we can discuss what will be happening from here on," my dad speaks out, making me want to duct tape his mouth shut.

"Heetuk, what are you doing from here? Are you actually done with her or not? Are you going to finish school?"

I hear Heetuk sigh, but I keep on playing with my fingers.

"Dad, I'm done with her. And I plan on it, but you guys have to sign some things so I can go online."

"Alright, that's fine. What about your apartment?"

"I can't pay for it any longer, so I'm moving out in two months. I don't know what she's doing-"

"It doesn't matter what she's doing," my mom speaks up, "do you have a job? Where are you going to live?"

"Yes, mother," he hisses, but quickly fixes his tone, "I have a job at McDonalds. And... I was hoping I could move back in."

My heart immediately sinks and I clench my jaw, pinching the tears away. He's going to move back in?

"That's fine with us," my dad says, "this will always be your home."

"Jisung, do you have anything to say?"

My head immediately shoots up, all thoughts gathering into a mess in which I couldn't comprehend.

"Uh, y-yeah." I clear my throat, sitting up a bit more rather than cowering into the couch. "I just... I just want you to understand how badly you've hurt us."

"Jisung, that's not-"

"I'm not finished, dad," I glare, "you asked if I had anything to say, and I'm going to say it. Heetuk," I look over to him, leaning forward on my knees, "you've hurt us bad. You've hurt me bad."

"I know," he says quietly, not meeting my eyes.

"Look at me," I demand, his head shooting up at my slight growl, "how many times in your entire life have you seen dad cry? Huh?"

He shrugs, "maybe once-"

"Once. In your entire life. In the past month, a single month, I've seen him cry too many times to count. And mom, she's broken down so many times that it physically hurts to see. I love you so much, but you're such an idiot. I need you to realize how much you've torn us apart."

"It's not all of my fault-"

"I don't give a damn," I bare my teeth, "you're the one who left. Not us. So quit blaming mom for being too hard on you when she just wants you to succeed in life. Quit blaming dad because he sometimes yells at you for being an idiotic teenager. And quit saying you're an adult because you're not. You're a kid. Get that inside your head." I huff out, falling back into the couch, "There. Now I'm done."

Everything goes silent from there, everyone deep in their own thoughts. I jump when my dad suddenly stands. He waves for Heetuk to get up, and they hug. It goes around for my mom to hug my brother as well.

My dad gives me a look, begging me to just hug the kid. I sigh, already knowing I was going to cry tonight.

Heetuk and I make eye contact. He tries to muster up a smile but fails. I step forward, my arms going over his shoulders and his going around my torso.

The hug was awkward and short. Too soon. I hadn't hugged him in such a long time. It almost felt nice if there weren't a thousand knives stabbing me in the heart.

We pull away, allowing me to give an excuse to do homework so I could get away from that atmosphere.

Fuck.