Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

130

Accept it.

I hold my head in my hand, turning away from him. My head spun, my walking off balance. I needed to get home, but I didn't want to be there. What was I going to do? I couldn't leave. I was trapped. I was jailed.

"Jisung? What happened?" I recognize that voice, but I don't look up.

What if he left again? What would we do? Maybe Changbin is right. Do I need counseling? Weren't my friends enough? They're unprofessional. Do I need professional help? Won't they look at me differently?

"He's overwhelmed," Changbin replies for me. A hand touches my shoulder. "It's my fault. He was already having a rough day."

Why did my parents take me out when Heetuk left? I asked to be there, yet they took me out. I asked for help, and they didn't listen. They didn't even put me in until Heetuk was home. They forced him in. They didn't have to force me in. They just didn't care about my health.

"Ji? Hey, look at me." Warm hands were placed on my cheeks, but they weren't right. "It's Channie, baby."

Did they even care about me? What's wrong with me? Was I too normal? Do I have to have physical traits of being ill to be put into therapy? Do I have to rebel against them for them to listen?

"Channie?" Maybe the hands were right. I couldn't tell. My stomach churned. My fists clenched.

Do I have to fucking threaten to runaway in order to get some goddamn help?

"Yeah, it's Channie. I'm going to take you home, is that okay?"

"No. No. Please, leave me alone." My head was back on right. Or was it? I couldn't tell.

"I can't do that, Sung."

"What's going on?" Another voice cuts in.

"He's a bit overwhelmed right now."

"You call this a bit? Angel, look at me, please." Gentle hands cover my own, slowly having me release my head. I meet his eyes. "Hi, lovely. You okay?"

Why was I floating? It felt like an alternate universe. I couldn't-

"Focus on me, baby. Do you want to go home?"

I shake my head slowly, never letting up eye contact. His eyes were so pretty.

"Are you hungry?"

"No." My voice wasn't shaky. It was small.

"Tired?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to take a nap, lovely? You can come over to my house."

"I'd like that."

What are you doing, Jisung? Your father!

"No, wait. My dad-"

"I'll talk to your mom on the way home. Is that okay?"

Home?

"Yes."

No, no it's not. It'll start an argument. Another one. They always argue over their kids. Who's right or wrong. Who's the better parent. Who's fault it is.

"No, it's not."

"Why is it not okay?"

"They'll argue again. He gets mad a lot."

"What if, instead, we go to your house and sleep for a bit? He can't get mad over that."

"But Heetuk-"

"We can pretend we're close friends."

I sigh. He's the solution to every problem. Not every one, but he's pretty damn good.

"Okay."

_____

•HAPPY HALLOWEEN SWEETHEARTS•😈