Why So Lonely? || Minsung 1/3 ✔️

21

When I wake up, I stare at the ceiling. I really didn't want to go to school. I knew that I would end up crying. I was overwhelmed, and I get stressed in school. It was bound to happen.

"I wish I could take you and leave."

I get up and get ready, much to my dismay. Heading downstairs, the light isn't on. Mom's probably sleeping. She doesn't have work today.

"You don't deserve this."

I slip on my shoes, not bothering to eat anything, and head out the door. Mom would always get worried whenever I didn't eat a meal. I used to skip lunch all the time. It got worse when I skipped breakfast too.

"I can't stay here anymore."

Familiar footsteps fall into place beside me. No words are exchanged until I suddenly stop.

"I'm not happy here."

Changbin stops next to me, giving me a questioning look as I continue to stare at the ground. I could feel everything building up. I could feel it in my entire body.

"What's wrong?"

And the dam falls.

Tears fall uncontrollably and my shoulders shake. My grasp on my backpack loosens and I cover my face. Changbin is quick to see and he steps up, wrapping his arms around me.

"It'll be okay, Jisung."

No, it won't.

"Breathe, J."

I can't.

"You don't deserve this. I'm sorry." His voice is strong, like he needs me to know this.

"I'm s-so sick of crying. I cry all the time. I'm so sick of life. I'm so sick of this pain. He's left so many times before, why does this one hurt the most? When will it end, Changbin?"

"I don't know, Sungie. I don't know."

It takes five minutes for us to separate. We continue walking, not wanting to be late.

Neither of us speak. He knows that I don't like talking about it. He and Chan are the only ones that know. They were the only ones there when it happened. When I called them hysterically. When they picked me up so I could get away. When they both held me on Chan's couch, speaking to me in the softest voices I've ever heard from them.

"Jisung!" Minho's voice calls, snapping me out of a deep, depressing trance.

I grasp Changbin's arm, "do I look like I've been crying?" He nods. "Fuck."

I'm quick to think, rubbing my eyes harshly to make them even more red. I look up, hearing his footsteps near.

"I'll leave you guys alone. See you later."

Changbin walks off, leaving me with Minho.

"Hey angel- whoa, why are your eyes so red?"

"My eyes were burning really bad when I woke up and it hasn't really gone away," I lie, sending him a small smile before hugging him.

That's what I needed.