96

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by CarmenKB

by CarmenKB

I gasp awake, my mind not fully grasping the concept. My throat was sore and dry, as if I had been yelling out for someone or something.

"M-Min," my arms move forward without me taking in account that he had already been extremely tired. When it settled in my mind, I quit shaking him.

My eyelids drooped, wanting to go back to sleep, but I refused. Sitting up, I feel the cold air on my back, making me realize I had sweat layered on it and on the back of my neck.

Honestly, I just wanted to go to school. Where I was safe with thousands of kids, whether they knew me or not. It was better than being awake and alone at night after the nightmare I just had.

God, it was awful. I remember I had accidentally wondered down to the basement of a friend's house. When I noticed something was off, I tried going back up but there wasn't a door and stairs anymore. There was a steep hill-like dirt exit. I had to climb my way out. And when I tried, I kept getting stuck by my shoulders because the entrance was so small. When I had actually gotten a bit of myself through, I felt the fear creep in my stomach and almost immediately, hands grabbed at my feet, pulling me back down. That's when I woke up.

Endless tears trailed down my face. I didn't want to be touched. I even pulled off my shirt because the collar felt too restricting. I cried into my pillow, trying my best not to disturb the sleeping boy next to me.

Reaching for my phone, I just wanted to talk to someone. Anyone who wasn't Minho.

- - - - -

Texting CB97 Loser

Jisung
hyung are you
awake??

CB97 Loser
yeah, what's wrong?
do you need me
to come get you?

Jisung
no, minho is here.
i just had a really
bad nightmare and
i was scared

CB97 Loser
oh ji
why don't you
wake minho up?
he seems to always
wanna help you
with that type of
thing

Jisung
he worked long
yesterday.
i don't want to bother
him

CB97 Loser
oh
okay
well do you want
to talk about it?

Jisung
not really, but
it was bad.
i won't tell you
what's it's about,
but god chan, it
was horrifying.
i don't want to
sleep anymore.
it's bad to say that.
but i don't.
i'm so fucking
scared.

CB97 Loser
you know nightmares
are caused by stress.
what are you
stressed about?

Jisung
i don't know
a lot of small
things.
school.

CB97 Loser
do you think that
he has anything
to do with it?
i know you're stressed
about him so don't
lie

Jisung
he might. idk.
i don't like
thinking about
it.
how am i
supposed to overcome
it? talking to people
doesn't help. pills
make it worse. i'm sure
drinking would but
mom would be
pissed.

CB97 Loser
pills??

Jisung
christ chan.
sleeping pills.

CB97 Loser
oh.
to be honest sung
i'm not sure how to
help. maybe you
should actually
talk to a doctor.
just to see what
you can do to help
yourself.
you won't have to
talk about it.
i mean you can try
more sleeping pills, but
that's only getting rid
of the sleeping problem,
not what's actually
causing them :(

Jisung
idk. but okay
thank you
i'll let you get
back to whatever
sorry.
goodnight

CB97 Loser
anytime little bro.
don't apologize for
nothing.
i'm always here for you.
try to just... think of
something that makes
you happy. don't think
about the nightmare.
goodnight

- - - - -

Well that surely didn't make me feel better. I mean, it did for future reference, but not for now. Talking to him calmed me down a bit, but now I was alone again.

I couldn't get the nightmare out of my mind. It clogged my throat out of panic. I was terrified.

I grasp Minho's arm, taking his limp hand into mine and playing with it for a bit. I made different hand motions, making him flip me off and do the hang-ten sign.

Checking my phone again, it was almost three. Just a few more hours until I go to school. And then... I'd be alone at night... again.

Fuck.