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by CarmenKB

by CarmenKB

Shouting startles me awake. I'm quick to throw my blankets to the side and run out of my room. There, I found my mom and Heetuk arguing in his room. Not just arguing, screaming at each other.

I could barely understand what they were saying. Panic erupted in my chest. My eyes darted around. What was I supposed to do?

"Guys, stop it!" I shout, trying to wedge myself between them. They were inching closer to each other, and I didn't want them to actually fight.

That's when everything went wrong.

"It's not my fucking fault that Jisung has mental issues!"

And then mom attacked.

It all happened so fast. Arms were flailing. Screams were hitting. Chaos was erupted. At one point, I felt myself get hit in the face by him, but I could barely register it.

"Stop!" I yell, "stop it!" I push my mom away, grabbing onto Heetuk.

"Fuck off, Jisung!"

Heetuk gets away from me and they stay away from each other. We're all breathing heavily. He turns to his closet, grabbing his backpack.

No. No. Please, no.

"Mom, go downstairs," I choke out, not needing her to say anything else.

She leaves, and I'm left alone with him.

"You know," he growls out, "your mom is a bitch. I can never talk to her without her being so fucking judgmental."

I clench my fists. "That's your mom, too. And we can never talk to you because you always get so fucking defensive. We try telling you the truth and you don't want to hear it."

"Fuck you, and fuck this family. Move." He shoves me to the side, hauling his bag over his shoulder. I watch him walk down the stairs and out of the door.

After a few minutes of standing there, my mom comes into view. "You don't have to go to school today, baby."

"Are you okay?" I ask softly, holding my own emotions back. I don't know what the fight was even about. How did it start?

"I'm frustrated with your brother. He gets under my skin. I was trying to ask him a question and he blew up at me like he always does."

"I know. It'll... it'll be okay," I try smiling, going over and hugging her. She sighs, holding me tight. I rub her back, squeezing my eyelids shut.

"I'm gonna go to school. I'll get ready."

I needed to get away from here. It was all piling up again. I needed to see my true brothers. I needed to be distracted by something.

I don't see Changbin on my way there. Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I do. I'm just so, so frustrated. I'm upset. My cheek hurts. I want to lay down and cry, but I don't want to be in that house. I don't want to see any of my family.

Why did this have to happen again?

"What's wrong?" Minho stands in front of me. He caresses my cheek, setting his other hand on my shoulder.

I let my gaze drop. My chest was beginning to tighten. I couldn't hold my breath steady.
"He left."