p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

s i x t e e n

A ringing persisted in Youngjae's ears as he stormed out the room, his test paper still gripped tightly in his hands causing his knuckles to turn white. He looked to the left and saw Mr Dorin making his way back and hurried to get himself out of view. Mr Dorin stepped into the class where muffled voices could be heard. 

Carefully, Youngjae walked back past the closed door of his biology class trying to remain unnoticed. Quickly he rushed out of the school grounds and ripped up the test paper, throwing it in the direction of one of the bins located near the school entrance. 

Youngjae knew he couldn't go home, his mum would probably be there ready to give him a scolding for skipping his afternoon lessons. Youngjae clenched his fists again and let out a frustrated sigh. Instead he decided to head towards a park nearby his house that he could go to for the time being. 

Grades meant a lot to Youngjae but simply doing badly on one test wasn't enough reason for him to feel so... angry. What really made his blood curl was the pressure and expectations that everyone else had for him. He felt like there was nothing more to him than some good grades and someone that would smile at you if you walked past them. What's worse was that he constantly reflected these expectations onto himself, making him feel more and more worthless every time it happened.

.

.

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Jaebeom finished his lessons and headed towards the front of the school to leave. He attempted to look for Youngjae in the short time during the break period and again after his final music lesson but alas- the younger was nowhere to be seen. He noticed some papers splayed across the floor by one of the bins. After closer inspection he saw the infamous 29% in red ink. Jaebeom picked up the papers that hadn't made it into the bin and examined them. 

Jaebeom didn't think 29% was bad, it was what he had gotten in his last maths test. Maybe this was the universe telling him that him and Youngjae were more alike than he first thought. He put the papers in his bag and continued walking. 

"Jaebeom!" somebody called out with a familiar voice. 

The elder turned and noticed Jackson with a big smile on his face. He was standing with the usual group, this time his arm linked with Jinyoung as Mark and Bambam were huddled together watching something on their phone. 

"Have you seen Youngjae?" Jackson asked from far away.

Jaebeom walked towards the group with slight confusion, "I haven't seen him since biology," he continued to say as he finally made it towards the friends. 

A frown appeared on Jackson's face as he heard this and Markbam looked up at once. 

"Bambam told us what happened," Jackson said, "I thought he'd be with you since he seems to be hanging out with you a lot more."

Jaebeom felt a little flustered at this, he hadn't noticed it but maybe it was true. Jaebeom guessed it was only because Youngjae still felt guilty about last week. 

Jaebeom liked Youngjae—
Hanging out with Youngjae.

"Maybe he needs some space," Jinyoung suggested, "We shouldn't force him to tell us what's happening if he's not ready but he should still know that we'll be there-- ya... Jackson stop--" 

Jackson was playing with Jinyoung's hair as he spoke and messing it up to cover his eyes. He let out a laugh when Jinyoung finally noticed, the client to this unwilling hairdo smiling at his friend's antics. 

"Jinyoung's right," Mark said, "And plus we don't want him to feel bad about not being ready to talk to us."

Jaebeom tried to leave the conversation unnoticed until Jackson called him out again. 

"If you do see Youngjae or know anything let us know."

"Ah.. Yeah of course." 

"I hope your wrist gets better!" Bambam called out just as Jaebeom was about to turn away again. 

Jaebeom nodded in response and finally was able to leave the conversation, but he could only take mere steps before one more voice called to him. 

"Get home safe!" Mark called out. Jaebeom had a feeling that Mark was older than him, despite his usual cold and reclusive reputation Mark only ever treated Jaebeom as somebody that confused him. Not somebody that he truly hated.

Jaebeom nodded with a small smile and walked onwards, a strange feeling flowing through him. Did they really like him? Or care about him? Or did they only care for Youngjae's sake. He refused to give them the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was the latter. He tried to shake his head free of thoughts and put his headphones in as he walked home. 

.

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Youngjae sat on a bench as he watched people and cars pass by, making sure to keep his hood up to avoid being recognise. For the rest of what was supposed to be his school day he sat and listened to some music, his own ideas for songs floating in his mind acting as a useful distraction to what had happened earlier that day.

But every so often his mind would drift back to him.

Jaebeom. Who he'd spent lunch with and who gave him lunch. He couldn't stop thinking about how close they had been and how even just seeing him like that made his mind do strange things.

Jaebeom. Who suddenly was trying to work hard and be nice. The exact person that Youngjae had always been mistified by had entered his life in an instant, were they even friends now?

Jaebeom. Who was walking right in front of him...

Youngjae stood up abruptly and tried to hide out of view, waiting for Jaebeom to walk ahead so he could linger behind. He watched where the elder was going and followed slowly, recognising the neighbourhood he was heading into and coming to a sudden realisation.

Jaebeom. Who lived in the same area as Youngjae. 

After a while of stunned silence and a bit of resentment at how he had never noticed this before, Youngjae took this as his cue to finally go home.