p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

s e v e n

Jaebeom spent the rest of his free period and the chemistry lesson following that feeling more bitter than ever. This felt like his own personal humiliation, the day that he tried to put himself out there was the day the Youngjae stood him up.

He ungratfully endured the lessons and made an effort to head straight home after. Not a single reply was given from Youngjae about his whereabouts either.  Jaebeom felt like a fool for trying to trust so easily. Youngjae must have really hated him.

But he already knew that everyone hated him.

.

Once at home he threw his bag to the ground, a loud thud echoing through the empty house. He changed quickly out of the shirt he was wearing into a large hoodie and black tracksuit bottoms, letting his worn clothes form a pile on the floor of his bedroom.

Exhaused, the boy collapsed onto his bed and laid their face down for a while, exhaling a large breath and groaning at his frustration.

He didn't want to think about seeing Youngjae again, or think about what he could be thinking; greatly hating the idea that Youngjae was probably out there somewhere, enjoying himself, laughing at the idea of Jaebeom waiting patiently and hopeful that he would arrive at some point.

.

.

The evening had arrived quicker than he expected. As usual his mother was nowhere to be seen.

The brown haired boy felt too upset to eat anything, after scavenging through the cupboards and finding nothing but half a packet of crisps he decided to head out to the corner shop.

The air felt like pins and needles against his neck. The only street lights around him were a muted amber glow. It felt like if he didn't keep walking he'd be lost in the darkness that was drawing upon him. But straight ahead lied the brightly illuminated store, so straight ahead he went.
His footsteps were heavy as he pushed all his strength onto the door. A bell chimed as he entered, a few casual shoppers already floating through the aisles.

He walked through the store keeping an eye out for anything that caught his attention, finally settling on a samgak kimbap, some sausage and some honey butter chips. Well decided on his snacks, he headed to the check out where the cashier stood watching something on his phone, looking up after hearing Jaebeom's incoming footsteps.

The items were thrown carelessly onto the counter as Jaebeom waited for the total to be calculated. The store was always fillied with all sorts of candies and snacks.

His eyes trailed to a boy, engulfed inside a recognisable amount of black fabric, sat by the window. Beside him a strawberry milk carton and a steamy bowl of ramen.

Jaebeom's mind was spinning.

"Sir?" The cashier broke his spiral of thoughts.

"Sorry, here," Jaebeom muttered as he reached into his wallet and grabbed the money. The till made it's classic 'cha ching' as the cashier handed him some coins.
He left the store quickly not wanting Youngjae to notice him. He was already humiliated once by him today.

A strong wind blew into Jaebeom's face as he stepped outside. The rain had become heavy by now and was already close to soaking though the hoodie that the elder was wearing.

Jaebeom stopped for a moment, turning back to take a second look at the younger. The image was blurred as rain poured against the window.

Youngjae sat slumped over his food, his glasses placed delicately on the bridge of his nose.
Jaebeon felt hypnotised by Youngjae's delicate movements as he ate, his tinted lips that flushed red, his cheeks that puffed as he blew to cool down his food.
Jaebeom gripped the plastic bag tightly, feeling his fingernails digging into his palm as he did so. Defeated, he let out a heavy breath that he didn't know he was holding and turned away.