p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

f o r t y - f o u r

"Who're you texting?"

Jinyoung looked up quickly as if he had been caught in an act, lips parted slightly to form an 'o'. He smiled softly, sealing his lips together again, and placed his phone screen-down onto the table.

"No one. How was the food?"

"Really good. Thanks for it all."

"It must have tasted good since you didn't pay for anything," Jinyoung teased.

Unlike what they had first agreed, Jaebeom completely forgot to buy food for what was supposed to be two friends hanging out and eating food together.

He had also forgotten to bring his wallet.

In the end Jinyoung decided he would order the takeaway himself to spare them both the trouble.

They had just cleaned up and were sat back down in the chairs by Jinyoung's coffee table. Jinyoung was the sole group member who lived by himself, unsurprisingly his apartment was neat and tidy and the area he lived in was quiet. The atmosphere made the elder feel some sort of calm that he hadn't felt in a while, or at least it made the clouds in his mind seem to clear. He fidgeted with his thumbs and chewed on his bottom lip.

"Can I.. Can I show you something," he muttered after the silence in the room had settled.

The other nodded and Jaebeom carefully pulled something out of his pocket. It was crumpled, but looked like it had been smoothed with the upmost care. The lines and lines of black ink recognisable in an instant to the boy waiting patiently on the other side of the table.

Jinyoung internally rolled his eyes, despite how much Jaebeom denied wanting to talk about Youngjae, the fact he had taken the time to bring the song lyrics but not his wallet was much more telling.

"Do you know anything about this?" he asked with vulnerability peaking through in his voice.

They locked eyes and Jaebeom exchanged a look as if to say, 'surely you know, if you don't then who does?'.

Jinyoung shook his head.

"He just left it. He came to my house and just left it outside. Is it crazy for me to think it's about me?"

Jaebeom reached his hand out to pass the paper over, the latter took it gently in his own grasp, scanning the page as if he was reading it for the first time.

"I don't think that would be crazy."

"Why would he throw this away? Is it supposed to be a sign?"

He took back the page and held it securely, entranced in the song that made his heart do all sorts of crazy things.

"A sign for what?" Jinyoung said, alluding to something that was already very obvious. The response was a Jaebeom with innocent eyes, staring back hopefully at the other as he said the next few words.

"Youngjae likes me?"

Jinyoung felt like he was walking a tightrope, the end straight ahead but the situation too delicate to cross without caution.

"Just likes? Those lyrics seem to genuine to just be that."

The elder seemed to pause in his thoughts. Jinyoung began to worry that he had already gone too far.

"I really.. I think I love him," Jaebeom finally admitted aloud.

Silence.

Neither could believe what was just said and soon Jaebeom felt a lump swell in his throat.

The silence was beginning to drown him. It made the sound of his heart beating in his chest and ringing in his ears even louder. His words floated in the air, the meaning getting more and more concentrated by the second. Jinyoung was just as, if not more surprised to hear the statement; he thought for sure Jaebeom would be much more stubborn about admitting anything like that.

"Jaebeom.."

Hearing Jinyoung's voice he broke out of his haze, squeezing his eyes shut and taking in a deep breath as he continued his trail of thought.

"I don't think it actually, I.."

"You?" Jinyoung pryed, automatically leaning forward in his chair and not believing this side of Jaebeom was right there in front of him.

"I.." the latter continued, seeing nothing but the darkness behind his eyelids.

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"Jaebeommie?"

Jaebeom snapped his head around at the familiar pet name, his eyes widening as he saw the younger standing at the door with Jackson by his side. Youngjae's lips were red and parted, his hair messied by the humid rain and his frame dressed in the most endearing outfit of all.

Why was he here?

He turned back to Jinyoung while barely being able to compose himself, his stare piercing and his chest tightening at the betrayal he felt.

"You said he wouldn't be here," he uttered through gritted teeth.

"I say a lot of things Jaebeom ah," Jinyoung responded with his own hard look and his arms folded.

The elder slammed the piece of paper down against the table and stormed out, shoving past Youngjae in the process and avoiding his gaze at all costs.

Youngjae's mouth was left agape, his eyes darting between his hyungs and his song and the door. Immediately he turned on his heel and rushed out.

The remaining pair followed the door as they watched him leave. Soon a small realisation hit them- that neither of the boys had brought umbrellas.

Jackson raised his hand and gestured to the small table next to the door, dropping the spare key Jinyoung had lent him on top to which the latter acknowledged. They paused, Jinyoung clasping his hands together and Jackson remaining in the doorway.

"Was that too much?" Jinyoung asked weakly after a while.

Jackson shook his head, a wistful smile on his face, "No way. That sounded really cool, kinda badass."

Jinyoung smiled, although he couldn't hide the doubt in his eyes.

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"Why are you holding a plant?"