p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

t w o

Jaebeom came home to an empty house. A small, two bedroom room apartment that his mother had rented out after she'd gotten her divorce. His mother would often work late so Jaebeom always prepared dinner for her to enjoy when she finally came home– although most days dinner would get cold, waiting on the table for someone to return, and when that someone did it would be too late to eat, so thus the food was packaged and re-purposed as tomorrow's lunch.

The boy slumped into his room and shut the door. A deep breath escaped his chapped lips, his eyes closing as he crouched into a ball and sat in the floor. He could feel the draft in his feet. His head was in his hands as he sat motionless in the silence, although not the best way to spend his time, that cold space on the floor was where Jaebeom frequented when he felt lost. He didn't like what he was, even worse, he didn't know what he was.

The sunlight drained out of the room, a noticeable indication that Jaebeom had been drowning in his thoughts for too long. He heaved his body up, heavier than when he had first sat down, and peered into the living room. The bowl of food was now definitely too cold for human consumption. He was tired though. Too tired to sort it out at the current point in time.

He thought about Youngjae. Retracing the steps of hours before when they had been face to face, locked into each other's eyes. Jaebeom liked Youngjae in the sense that he was endlessly optimistic. How everybody liked him without him even being extremely extroverted.

Jaebeom was tired at the mere idea of it.
Didn't he ever get tired? Youngjae. Was he tired too?

.

.

Meanwhile Youngjae always had a full house. A joyful collection of his parents, his older brother and his older sister. Not too different however, Youngjae isolated himself away, hiding in the safe domain of his bedroom and only leaving for dinner and toilet breaks.
Youngjae couldn't sit in silence, his mind was too loud and too busy and the idea of being alone with his own thoughts- without any friends to distract him from his own insecurities- was something he truly feared.

His way to escape was to hide under his covers, music playing in his ears as he replaced the darkness with daydreams and imaginary scenarios of things that would never ever happen. Tonight he pictured himself sitting alone during lunch at the school library. He imagined himself as a stranger, someone who nobody acknowledged.

A knock at the door awoke him from his fantasy. Momentary silence, before the door creeked open.

"Jae Jae.. Dinner's ready soon," his mother informed, "And stop spending so much time up in your room."

"Ok mu–" but ironically before he had finished his mother had already closed the door.

But if he didn't get to be alone at home, then when would he ever get to be alone? It was a strange paradox of wanting to be alone, because people sometimes made his mind spin, but not too alone since his own thoughts were just as intrusive. Did he really want to be alone?

He loved his friends and his family, but there was a reason why he was never the one to invite people over. His house was his comfort. His isolation from the rest of the world. And if anybody dared step foot just an inch too deep into his security–

He didn't like thinking about that.
He didn't like thinking much anyway.

Almost instantaneously, something clicked within the minds of these two vulnerable boys.

And thus a change occurred.
A change that, when both returned to school on Monday, would shock everybody.