p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

t w e n t y - t h r e e

before

Jaebeom's stomach was rumbling as he walked down the street. That evening he had been spending another night alone and after watching some cooking video he instantly craved ramen; currently on his way to get the final ingredients. Most of all he just liked walking at night because of how peaceful it was, there were hardly any people around and the world felt as if he was in a movie.

As he walked past the local park he noticed a familiar figure huddled on a bench. Jaebeom walked careful not to be noticed, soon coming to the realisation that it was Youngjae sitting there alone.

Why would he be alone?
He looks sad.

Considering how late it was Jaebeom wasn't sure if Youngjae had eaten yet. Jaebeom's heart felt pained, he felt as if he had stumbled across something too private. At the same time he felt too guilty to let the boy sit there in sorrow.

The worse case scenario was that Youngjae was fine, and would tell Jaebeom to go away– or that Youngjae wasn't fine and still told Jaebeom to go away.

The elder kept this in mind as he continued on towards the supermarket.

.

.

Youngjae ate some samgak gimbap while Jaebeom ate the sushi.
It wasn't a lot, but it was enough for Youngjae to start feeling better again.

Youngjae felt grateful that the elder had stumbled by to hold him, to let him cry on, and to reassure him through his entire whirlwind of distress. Out of everybody Jaebeom was the only one who he could have ever wanted to be there-- and as if a miracle, there he was. Once the tears had faded Youngjae's mind had also become clearer. 

Perhaps, it was Jaebeom that helped his thoughts come to light. 

"I got into an argument with my mum," Youngjae said quietly before taking another large bite of his snack. Jaebeom watched seeing how calm the younger was now compared to previously. He didn't understand what was going on but as long as he could be there to help Youngjae feel better, that was what he wanted to do most. 

"I'm sorry to hear that." the elder responded, his mind thinking about how bad the argument must have been to have caused Youngjae to break down like that. 

The boys stayed in silence for a long time after that– but not uncomfortable silence.
The silence that's as if to say,

it's okay, I will wait for you.
feel better now because I'm here.

When usually silence would cause Youngjae to spiral into his own thoughts, this time it was comforting.

Still without words Jaebeom reached into his bag again and pulled out a familiar strawberry milk carton which Youngjae gratefully accepted, reminded of the last time he was given a drink like this. The elder took out a milk tea for himself.
The leaves on the trees rustled in the wind and Jaebeom felt himself shiver but wanted Youngjae to stay warm most of all. By this point Youngjae had re-adjusted to wear the jacket fully.

"Jaebeom.." Youngjae mustered up the courage to say as the pair sat watching the sky.

A crescent moon was appearing above them, it's soft glow taking both boys' attention. Youngjae never really went out at night, the idea of staying out late seemed too daunting for him to imagine-- but right now daunting was the furthest of things he could feel.

"Hmmm?" the other hummed in response as he took a sip of his drink.

Youngjae looked at him with eyes that Jaebeom felt like shone brighter than all the galaxies known to mankind.

"I want to sleep with you, can I?"

.

.

Jaebeom choked on his drink, spitting the contents out onto the grass at their feet. Youngjae was startled by this reaction and quickly searched his pockets for tissues- for which there were none.

"W-what?!"

"I'm sorry.." Youngjae said in quick response, "I know you probably would never want to have me over.."

"No it's not that! It's just.. A bit soon right?"

Youngjae frowned.

"I guess.. It's just that I'm pretty sure we live close by, and I don't really want to sleep with anyone else.."

This idea made Jaebeom even more shocked. It was something so unexpected for someone who seemed so pure and so bright.

"You're genuine about this.." Jaebeom continued awkwardly, his cheeks burning more and more as their conversation continued.

"I don't want to go home, I just want to sleep with somebody.."

Jaebeom was a mess after hearing this. He bit his lip and tried his best not to imagine the worst.

Due to the loud surroundings, the sleep deprivation in the elder and the poor wording choice of the younger, what Jaebeom failed to realise was that Youngjae hadn't said "I want to sleep with you.. "

Instead he had said,

"I want to sleep over with you.."

"I thought maybe we were close enough to.." Youngjae continued, only making his case worse.

Jaebeom gave him a strange look. Youngjae was feeling hurt and a little lost. He didn't want to burden his friends by trying to force them to look after him- especially with how he had been acting to ignore them- and he didn't even know if he felt comfortable crying to them like he had cried to the elder, but now he was beginning to feel increasingly more worried that he was burdening Jaebeom instead. 

"Please Jaebeom.. Just for one night.. I'll sleep on the floor if I have too.."

"Huh? On the floor? Why would you sleep on the floor?" he asked with confusion.

"Because it's your house and I'd only be staying there for the night.. I don't mind which room. Even if it's just somewhere in the living room.. we don't even need to hang out or talk to each other when we get there and I could just go straight to bed!"

At this point Jaebeom was slowly starting to realised Youngjae's true intention, "So you're saying.. You want to crash at mine tonight?"

Youngjae nodded, "I'm sorry.. I feel like I'm burdening you.."

"Of course not! Youngjae... You're never a burden."

Jaebeom was relieved to finally understand that his ears had deceived him. Deceived, or maybe wishful thinking. After some time for him to fully understand his stupidity Jaebeom stood up, causing Youngjae's eyes to follow his motion.
The younger felt more sadness grow. He assumed that he had pushed things too far and that Jaebeom was finally coming to his senses and leaving him.

Doing the opposite of what Youngjae ever could have thought, Jaebeom held out his hand towards him. With a small smile and a familiar tone, Jaebeom's endearing voice resonated in the other's ears.

"Let's go."