p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

e i g h t e e n

Youngjae wasn't sick.

Well, not physically anyway.

But his head felt like mush and he didn't have the energy to get out of the bed. He also had lied to his mum about feeling sick while claiming to be having the worst headache of his life.
His mum had let him stay of school for this week but increasingly worried and tried to get him to go to a doctor, for now Youngjae was able to get away with his act but knew he couldn't keep it up for long.

The door to his bedroom opened up and Youngjae emerged from under the covers. His mum peered in with sorrow in her eyes.

"Jae Jae ah.. How are you doing?"

"Tired," he mumbled in response.

"Someone came over just now to give you something," she walked in slowly with her arm extended.

Youngjae reluctantly sat up and rubbed his eyes, a small carton of strawberry milk catching his attention in the process. With confusion, he accepted it.

"Huh? Who's this from?"

Mrs Choi did her best to recall the name, regretting not asking the boy again before he left.

"Ahh what was it.. With a J-"

"Jinyoung? Jackson?"

"No no the one with sprained wrist-"

"Jaebeom!?"

"Jaebeom! That's it. How come you've never told me about him? He's very handsome."

Youngjae could only sit in stunned silence, his mind still trying to process what this all meant.

"Well, nevermind that," his mother continued, "Sleep some more and see how you feel tomorrow."

She closed the door as she left leaving Youngjae in a whirlwind of his own thoughts and emotions.

He held up the carton in disbelief.
Indeed, it was Youngjae's favourite drink to get; cheap, sweet, and perfect for any situation.

And it was from Jaebeom.

. . .

Jaebeom was here?!??

He wished his mum would have come up to say he was there before letting him go so quickly, although he recalled her doing the exact same thing when Jinyoung came, to which Youngjae hasefully turned him away.

He felt a small ridge at the bottom of the carton. Youngjae turned it in his hands and saw that a small paper note had been taped underneath. Peeling it away and carefully opening up it he looked at what it said.

Get well soon

The drink tasted sweeter than usual. The boy sipped on it slowly as he held it with both hands.

An idea came into his head and he rushed towards his window on the lookout, a few shadows of people passed in the streets but nobody who resembled Jaebeom, nobody with a splint, nobody as handsome—

He realised that now Jaebeom knew too how close their houses were, close enough for him to visit on short notice, close enough probably for him to go to the convenience store that Youngjae also went to regularly.

But how come Youngjae never saw him there?

He sighed at himself, once again getting frustrated at never realising their connection.

At that point he knew for sure that he couldn't keep faking for any longer, next week he had to go back to school. He was already behind in all his lessons but was also hiding this fact from his parents. Youngjae didn't have the energy to keep caring about school.

He slumped into his seat at the keyboard that was up against the window and turned it on.
To help him cope with his feelings and clear his mind Youngjae's biggest pastime was songwriting. It was something that he poured his heart and soul into and something that he could spend hours and hours on whilst feeling like only seconds had passed.

He was already working on numerous songs at once with one song in particular taking up his attention. He picked up a page that was left lying on the keyboard and refreshed his mind. Rough lyrics and messy handwriting took up both sides of the paper as change after change was made. Youngjae lost himself in time once more as he hummed a melody and let the soft sound of his music take him away.

.

.

.

《 •You pull me in, you're my gravity

•You're so perfect even this moment is no way

•Oh you only want to see me

•I, I, I only want to see you

•Will you show me your smile 》

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.

.

That weekend was also the weekend Jaebeom could take his splint off. The boy sat in his room staring out of his own window, the darkening of the sky bringing calm to Jaebeom's mind.

He flexed his wrist and massaged it with his right hand- a little stiff, but he was definitely glad the recovery process was over.

As he watched the sky and the crescent moon and the dark silhouettes of trees he wondered what Youngjae was doing now too. Whether he was feeling better and whether he would even be in school the following week. Was he thinking about Jaebeom as much as Jaebeom was thinking about him?

And why did Jaebeom think about him so much to begin with?

He wondered if Youngjae had liked the strawberry milk. Jaebeom was guilty of impulse buying the drink simply because he saw Youngjae with it once, and instead of letting himself wallow in his own feeling he decided to actually do something about it.

What if he was too sick to drink it?

The idea made him sad.
Most of all, he hoped Youngjae would come back soon.