p e r s o n a l l y ☆ 2jae

f o r t y - n i n e

"Don't look so shocked, I have to take care of my boyfriend."

Jaebeom was pouting, eyes wandering across Youngjae's concentrated expression whilst his fingers pressed the cotton ball against his cheek.

Once the meeting and lessons were over they had gone back to Jaebeom's house, as they often did, and Youngjae had insisted on tending to the latter's wounds no matter how small they may have been. Even the slightest graze was too much for Youngjae to stomach. Nobody should have ever laid a finger on his boyfriend— let alone a foot. 

The white became stained with dashes of pink. Jaebeom looked away. 

"It doesn't hurt?" Youngjae asked, switching the cotton ball for a fresh one. The elder shook his head and wandered his gaze back. Youngjae was kneeling on the floor despite the room still on the sofa and the air around them was surprisingly warm; a small seclusion of heat made especially for them within the cold and empty apartment.

"In the shows I watch they always have romantic scenes like this, and they always whine and say it hurts, my Jaebeommie is too strong."

Youngjae smiled after he spoke and admired his work. The marks against Jaebeom's cheek were brighter now, fresh with the touch of antiseptic but less angry than they had looked before.

No swelling, that was a relief.

My Jaebeommie, Jaebeom repeated in his mind, still hooked on the younger words.
The phrase made his heart swell.

"Our English report is due Friday," Youngjae said, peeling a small bandaid out of its plastic cover. He pressed it against Jaebeom skin, hard enough for it to stick but not for the elder to feel any discomfort.

His touch really was like an angel..

"We've pretty much finished. We can go over it tomorrow and submit it," Jaebeom replied.

The latter nodded before getting up off his knees and crawling into the arms that Jaebeom had now outstretched. This definitely wasn't the first time they cuddled-- however that didn't stop the heat on their faces or the thumping in their chests whenever the opportunity arose. Each time seemed like it was their very first, both feeling just as smitten as the moment they started dating. A lazy arm was thrown over Youngjae's torso and another behind his head. Youngjae meanwhile was playing with the elder's hair, the fresh scent of apple shampoo toying with his senses. Their bodies fit perfectly together, hand in hand and urging them not to pull away.

"Stay over?" the elder asked quietly. Youngjae hummed to himself as he debated his response.

"My parents are getting a little suspicious. Don't look sad, I'll surprise you! Tomorrow morning I'll wait for you outside your door instead of you waiting for me."

"It's not a surprise if you tell me Youngjae ah.."

The younger flushed, embarrassed. He pressed a kiss onto Jaebeom's forehead before pressing another to his lips.

"I love you Jaebeommie," Youngjae said sweetly as he got up and slung his bag over his shoulder. He didn't want to say goodbye, neither did. Instead of a goodbye they liked to think of these partings as small breaks in time, one that wouldn't last forever, one that would lead them to reunite soon enough.

Jaebeom smiled gingerly in response, the sight pure and warm and enough to make Youngjae's insides feel like jelly.

"I love you too sunshine."

.

.

.

"I got a call from your school today."

Youngjae hadn't been home for more than 10 minutes before his mother had come into his room ready for interrogation. He gulped, tongue-tied and palms clammy.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

The boy remained mute, instead averting his gaze and fidgeting with his thumbs. Mrs Choi only intensified her stare and placed a hand on her hip.

"They told me it was due to homophobia, or that there were dating rumours. I don't really know, you should have told me."

Youngjae parted his lips to say something but nothing escaped. The dryness in his throat was growing.

"Well?" His mother asked, foot tapping against the ground, "Is he nice?"

"He?" Youngjae had managed to say, croaky and wrapped with confusion.

"The secret boyfriend you've decided to hide from me until now?"

Youngjae's jaw dropped foolishly. It took him a moment to understand the revelation at hand and even longer for him to close his mouth again. 

"He's really nice.. And kind and caring and sweet," he replied, trying desperately to hide the pink on his ears or the race of his heart at just thinking about the elder.

"And he treats you well?"

"Of course!"

His mother seemed relieved. She reached over to take her son's hands in her own and gripped them tightly, the aura around her turning serious.

"Next time, tell me so that I don't have to hear it coming from your teachers. And tell me so that I could have done something to stop those bullies from bothering you."

Youngjae felt guilty for not saying anything more, but he didn't think his mom would understand the whole situation with Jaebeom or the bullies or anything. And he definitely didn't expect to have to encounter those two imbeciles again. He felt his hands being tapped and drew his attention back up.

"Well? When can I meet him?"

"You've met him already, it's Jaebeom.. But we weren't dating when you met him the first time!" he rushed to clarify after seeing the confused look on his mother's face. She laughed a little at this. 

And for the rest of the evening Youngjae confessed the truth about how he had ended up here.

.

.

"I.. I didn't tell you.. I'm sorry."

Jaebeom was paralleled, sat down with his mother discussing a phone call she had gotten from the school. The whole bullying situation wasn't nearly as important to the elder, instead the person he called his boyfriend was an even more touchy subject.

"Me and Youngjae.. We're dating.. I'm sorry I didn't tell you properly until now."

He was already tired, chest filled with shallow breaths as he watched the blank expression on his mother. She stared back in silence, something toying at the end of her tongue. They never really talked, let alone about anything this personal to Jaebeom's life. They had barely even talked about the obvious red marks on Jaebeom's cheek— not that the former wanted to talk about it.

"I know I'm not home that often, and I know we don't talk very much.. But it was a little obvious."

Just like his boyfriend, Jaebeom's jaw dropped-- although he was a little quicker at regaining composure.

"I'm fine with it Jaebeom, if that's what you were worried about. I've seen him plenty of times to know how happy he makes you, and your happiness is the most important thing to me."

Unlike with Youngjae, just a few streets away, the conversation Jaebeom had with his mother was short, direct. In that instance he thought about the younger and whether or not he was having a discussion like this too, whether his family would approve if Youngjae explained things. His thoughts were interrupted by the shuffling of his mother and a few statements she made about how it was late and they should both sleep. She walked away, her back casting a long shadow onto the floor.

"Thank you.." Jaebeom has said quietly as she had her hand on the door.

Thank you for accepting me, he had meant.
Thank you for waiting for me to be happy.

His mother turned back and smiled. 

"I know that he comes here a lot anyway, and I know you've been trying to hide from me how much he sleeps over, but tell Youngjae that he's welcome here anytime."