January 15, 2021
Hello, it is currently 5:03 a.m and i have school in 3 hours 😍😍 so excited.
I was doing really good this week. I went 3 days in a row and to more than one class LMAO. obviously it could be better, but it's the best i've done this whole trimester and i think thats worth something, at least progress? idk.
I felt things again. I FELT things. but now it's gone, and i hate it. It was only for like 2 days but oh my GOD IT WAS SO GOOD. i hadn't felt like that in over two YEARS.
i wish it would have lasted. i would give anything to have that feeling back forever. I miss having emotions and shit, i miss being able to create/remember memories. FUCK.
i stg i have some sort of emotional detachment disorder LMAO idk if that's even a thing but yeah it's frustrating.
Also i miss band boy and I was supposed to hang out with him yesterday but :((( I DIDNT. ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS UGGGHHHH.
I'm sad because I feel like things with him aren't bad, but we aren't progressing at all. We barely see each other because he has a VERY busy schedule with work and band practice and i'm starting to wonder if he'll ever have time for me, or for a relationship. And like, obviously i can see him twice a week when he comes down for band practice, but when do we ever get time for us? i can't really get mad because i know the circumstances and blah blah but like it's just hard to date a guy when the only time you see him is when he's with his band.
Like idk how to progress a relationship if i never get alone time to spend and learn about that person. idk i may be crazy, i just wish he had more time for me, but i'm understanding and it's just the way things are.
UUUGGGGHHH IDK. oh well. i just wanna fall in love😔
and i miss montana boy 💔💔 I HATE IT cuz like obv i like band boy but like there's something about montana boy. if only he lived closer bruh, maybe things could have been different :( idk. it sucks. i wanna text him but i knwo i shouldn't, he needs time i guess.
BUT ANYWAYS idk what else to sayyyyy life hasn't been too rough lately but ya know BOYZ R DUMB 😡😡
oh well, wish me luck i feel like i'm heading back into a low. DAMNIT.
fuck I feel like such a clown writing this as if someone actually reads it 😍😍 oh well. it may not be the best coping mechanism.. but it sure is a coping mechanism 😎
goodnight
YOU ARE READING
RANT BOOK
Humorfree reaction meme with every rant i post !! 😎 So I decided to make this book for whenever I gotta rant/vent/talk ab what going on cuz I always got shit to say about life and sometimes it can be VERY interesting LOL so enjoy. spoiler: montana boy b...
