RANT BOOK

went to montana again lolz

Dec 3, 2021

y'all it's been a month and 😃 i got back from montana 2 days again and i gotta tel ya about it.

i went from the 27th-1st and honestly we didn't do much at all but it doesn't really matter cuz i just like being with him ya know?

ANYWAYS so i'm on the 27th i woke up at like 10 a.m to get ready AND I STARTED MY PERIOD NOOOO so i was on it the entire time i was in montana 😐 cringe asf

anyways, i left around 2:30 and for some reason the drive went by so fast and i cannot remember anything about it 😃 and idk why but every time i drive i start to feel like nothings real and it's hard to actually focus and everything looks weird like a video game and it freaks me out but it's okay cuz ethan drove the rest of the way so i didn't have to worry about it 🕺🏼

anywaysss then we got to his house and we didn't really do anything the first day except watch 13 going on 30 and we fucked once lol. it was a lot messier this time tho 😳 and it sucked cuz it was worse the whole TIME.

then i honestly cannot remember what we did on the 28th. like seriously i have NO idea, i'm trying so hard to remember but i don't even know 😭 i remember showering together but we didn't fuck lol. and we also watched the first twilight that night and it was pretty swag.

i think the reason i can't remember is cuz we literally woke up at like 4:30-5 p.m and it was already dark outside when we'd wake up 😭 were bad bruh.

but on the 29th we went on a date to outback and i got a huge salad bruh i ate like 1/3 of it and the rest filled my entire to-go box lol. then after our date we went to walmart to get a radio thing for his car, then went home and watched the second twilight lol.

i can't remember every time we fucked but it was only like 6 or 7 times and bruh that shit was so good 😭 LIKE LISTEN he grabbed my legs and pulled me to the edge of the bed while he was standing on the ground and fucked me like that WHILE RUBBING MY CLIT BRO 😳 i came like twice and then he flipped me to doggy and finished AND ANOTHER TIME WHEN WE WERE IN THE SHOWER we didn't have a condom so we had to be more careful lol so he'd fuck me from behind WHILE CHOKING ME and then he'd stop for a min and finger me til i came and then keep going and he did that like 3 or 4 times ✋🏻 AND HE PUT HIS FINGERS IN MY MOUTH WHIKE HE FUCKED ME AODHSOHS bru that shits so hot. couldn't tell ya 😃 BRUH but the first two days i was bleeding a lot so like the condom would be covered ya know 😭 and every time i'd do my makeup the bloody condom would be starin at me in the trash bro😳 can't have that

ANYWAYS LOL the trip was more than just the sex 😃 we also watched the 3rd and 4th twilight on the 30th which was swag and then on the 31st  we were in the living room with his family most the day cuz everyone was over for dinner/decorate for christmas but ethan was being kinda cringe (or maybe i'm just a baby and need attention lolz) but he was just playing clash royale the WHOLE TIME bruh and like it's fine but i need attention bruh 😔 because i started overthinking and i got SAD for nothin bruh and i told him i was gonna go lay down so he came with me and my ass started CRYING and he cuddled me and asked if i was sad just cuz i was leaving the next day and i was like "yeah. and cuz i'm scared" and basically i told him i felt like he was going to lose feelings again and i was prob just overthinking but i was just sad and he said that he wasn't going to and i was like "how do you know" and he was like "i just do" and then he told me he wouldn't change anything about me and that he loved me so much and he cuddled me so tight and he kissed me and it made things better lol.

then we fucked in the shower 😳 HAHA of course. then after that we watched half of the last twilight but went to sleep cuz we had to get up early the next morning and on the 1st we "woke up" at 10 a.m but snoozed it until 11 lol, then we got ready and got crepes and then got starbucks and then they drive halfway to drop me off and i cried and said goodbye and then my drive was okay, it was just kinda bad once it got dark so i stopped to get snacks and water so i'd be okay and i made it home by like 7:30 p.m and then went to see my best friend to tell her all the details lol. AND THEN THE NEXT DAY I CRIED SO FUCKING MUCH bruh i was so sad, like i can't even explain it. it hurt SO BAD not being able to sleep next to him or just be with him :( bruh it literally hurts so bad i can't even explain it. I JUST WANNA BE WITH HIM AND I CANT UUGHHAIWODJ

it's okay. we planned our next trip already (dec. 31st-jan. 5th) cuz my new job puts the schedule out super far in advance 😳 so i have to ask my days off as early as i can. it's kinda annoying but it is what it is.

but if i move to montana sometime next year i won't have to worry about it for very long lol. i wish i could move there now bruh 😔 i hate it here and it feels like home there. AND THEY LIVE ME MORE THAN MY OWN FAMILY BRUH. his parents literally bought me christmas presents and matching pjs with their family 🥲 and i'm not even gonna BE THERE for christmas. i literally love them so much

AND i got a fever for like a day while i was there and that sucked, but ethan's mom was so sweet and asked if i needed anything and offered to get me gatorade and that she'd do anything i needed and bruh she's literally the sweetest human ever. my own parents don't take care of me when i'm sick bruh, i'm on my own for that shit. i just thought that was so sweet bruh. and ethan also took care of me which i love that man bruh. it all came outta nowhere too, we were just hanging out in his sisters room with her friends then went out to the living room and all of a sudden my face got really hot and then i started getting really anxious for some reason so i asked him if we could go outside and so he came with me and we just sat outside til i was ready to go in. i love him bruh.

and i was cringe, like it was cold outside but since i was so hot i wasn't like cold or anything but i was shivering super bad cuz of my anxiety and ethan just held me until i was calmed down and then took me inside and just cuddled me until i felt better. MAN I LOVE HIM.

anyways that's pretty much it. we also went to target to look at stuff and give him ideas for christmas lol but that's pretty much all we did. it wasn't much but i don't really care what we do bruh i just love being with him and in montana around people who care about me. the environment there is just SO much better than here, idk how to explain it. i just feel like i belong there, and i'm out of place here. it's cringe bruh cuz i cant even do anything about it right now. oh well, hopefully soon :)

anyways i think that's all lol. i had a good trip and i miss tf outta that man. i'll see him in a month at least 🥲 anyways that's all lol i'll keep ya updated