RANT BOOK

Update lol

Feb. 19, 2022

damn it's been a MINUTE. i've been to montana once and ethan had been here once since i last update lol so i'll summarize.

i went up to montana from Jan. 1st-8th. the plan was supposed to be Dec. 31st-5th so that we could be together for new years but it ended up being too snowy and i couldn't go until the 1st :( but also since it was snowy i got to stay an extra 3 days so i didn't have to drive in snow 😼 very swag.

i don't remember much about that trip cuz it was a while ago but i know we saw a movie and we went to the mall and fucked a lot lol. i couldn't really tell ya any details about that trip except that the last 2 days he had to work so i hung out with his brother and brothers gf and played super smash bros and went to target lol. it was pretty fun, and i'm a BEAST at super smash bros with Lil Mac 😼 very awesome.

Anyways i also quit my Job and went back to Pizza place cuz they're paying me more plus i get more/better hours and it's pretty good. i'm a lot happier there now. I also finally got a therapist and WOOOO i'm so happy. i was literally on a waiting list for like 4 months. and on my first appointment i already figured shit out and it was wild. like apparently i have this thing called Derealization and if you wanna know what that is basically it's where things don't feel/look real and it makes me dissociate constantly and it's very scary and i hate it but i'm learning how to cope even tho it's getting worse 😀 lol. and it doesn't help that i'm constantly thinking about why tf i'm here and like what the truth is and shit like that. scares tf outta me. i also learned that i have some trauma from my break up with ethan because of the way i react when i think about specific things that happened during/after the break up. even tho we've been back together for like 4 months i'm still healing from that 😀 lol. but it's okay, at least i know.

anyways, he came here from Feb. 11th-16th and OHHSGAUHSISW i seriously didn't think i could fall in love with this man any more than i already was AND I JUST PROVED MYSELF WRONG.

on the 11th we didn't do anything cuz it was driving day but we went to walmart after and got condoms and snacks lol and went to get breadsticks from my work and then the next day we woke up late and went to the mall and the mf bought a SWORD bruh 😐 and i got a new bra/underwear wooooo, then the next day we went to mf gmas house for the super bowl and so he could meet my fam lol and it was cute my grandma gave him a cookie and hugged him and was so nice and AH it was cute. then the next day i had to work in the morning 💔 and it was valentine's day UGG but it's okay cuz we got a hotel and IT WAS SO FUN OMG we went to the hotel to check in and it was so nice bruh, then we got chick fil a and then went to walmart and got strawberries and chocolate cuz valentine's day ya know, then we went back to the hotel and munched on the food and strawberries and watched Bright but i low key fell asleep lol and then we fucked after WOO and then we watched some of the 3rd season of Too Hot To Handle ANNHJAJDOSJ i love that show HAHA and then we fucked again and then went to bed and then the next day we went to the zoo !! it was so swag. then after we went to the Planetaruim, and then went home and went to the hot springs and he was horned up the whole time we were there HAHA and then we went to the lookout and fucked for the last time 💔 then went home and slept. then went home the next day

GAHHHH but for some reason this trip just like was so amazing and idk what about it made it so good. i'm just so in love with him.

BRUH i also cried about him leaving THREE DAYS BEFORE HE LEFT WHSIAHAI idk bruh i was just sad thinking about it lmao.

we also had to sleep on the couch but we made a bed outta the two couches in my basement and it was swag.

BROSHSISH ALSO THE SEX GETS BETTER EVERY TIME I STG BRUH that man is godly. but also like one of the times we had sex it was like AMAZING because near the end it got like INTENSE and we had our foreheads together and then when we kissed while he came and it felt like SPARKS bruh i literally cannot explain how amazing it was bruh. so good. IN LOVE.

anyways i miss tf outta that man and i wanna live with him and he with him forever.

ALSO yesterday i met a new friend named Chris and he's so amazing and like talking to him is so interesting and like his life is WILD but yeah we talked for hours about so many things and it definitely made me dissociate my whole drive home cuz i was very confused about life lol but it's okay. he's very awesome.

anyways that's all WOOO