RANT BOOK

Boy update??

Jan. 11th, 2024

It's been a min.. lol.

Last time I updated I had just recently left Ethan, and so much shit has happened since then 😳

Basically, I moved back to Utah, and at first me and Ethan were just on a break with an undetermined break up, but after a few weeks I decided that that's not what I wanted and I ended things with him completely.

Then started dating immediately 😀 and I'm not saying this was a wise choice, but I did 🧍🏻‍♀️ and the first person I went on a "date" with was someone I met 2 years ago when me and Ethan broke up the first time, and he ended up being like my twin flame. BUT I don't feel anything romantic towards him and I hate that 🥲 cuz he's seriously so amazing and we're like the same person, just not the connection I thought it would be.

ANYWAYS we're pretty much just buddies, but I also ended up dating another dude and this guy had red flags before I even met him in real life 😃 but I decided to give him a chance anyways 😳 and I actually ended up really liking him after our first date cuz he picked me up and opened all my doors for me and was really easy to talk to, so I kinda ignored his red flags.

And if you're wondering what these red flags were, the first was that he called me weird shit like "my dear" and "my child" like 😃 what. Also he was popular in high school so he has a FUCKING HUGE ego, but that's also cuz he's literally giant, like body-builder giant. ANYWAYS. The date was fun, so I ignored the red flags, we ended up sleeping together and he was surprisingly good 😃 I came 3 times the first time we fucked AND IT WAS JUST FROM PENETRATION?? like.... What. SO NATURALLY I CONTINUED TO IGNORE HIS RED FLAGS CUZ I WANTED TO KEEP FUCKIN but he accumulated more, like he wasn't very respectful of some of my boundaries 😃 like he wanted to do it raw but I told him no multiple times until he FINALLY agreed, then he kept trying to get me to smoke with him but I'm very firm about not smoking.. so it took him a while to get the memo. THEN THE WORST ONE I told him I didn't swallow (ya know) cuz the texture bothered me and he told me he would just do it in my throat and not tell me when he was going to cum so that I would ??? I WAS LIKE ??? WXCUSE ME. I literally never gave him head after that cuz WHAT THE FUCK

I only fucked him twice before he decided to try and end things 😃 and the reason why? I COULDNT TELL YOU. HE GAVE ME AT LEAST 8 DIFFERENT REASONS AND THEY WERE ALL DIFFERENT.

Literally dude, I go on a date with another dude (I'll mention later) and literally AS IM LEAVING HIS HOUSE this mf texts me and goes "this isn't going anywhere" I'M LIKE ??? I didn't know that it fucking was 😃 literally he never talked about relationships or anything like that, I thought we were just fucking, but apparently not ?? HE DID NOT COMMUNICATE THAT TO ME THOUGH. so basically I ask him why and he just gives me bullshit.

"I've grown attached to you and I can't do that if you're gonna be fucking around with other guys"

"My life is just getting started and you just got out of a relationship"

"We have different views and that will cause fights in the future"

"You have 3 cats and I'm allergic"

"Things moved too fast and neither of us were ready for it"

"I'm not a fan of the lgbtq and your friends are gay"

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE ANSWERS LMAO

and then eventually he decides we can keep talking but he wants me to keep dating and stuff because he "doesn't want me to fall for him" and I was like 💀 don't worry I won't. And then I left him on read. Then he texted me the next day all normal and I was like ??? Wtf I thought we were done and bro says "the sex is too good" WHICH IT WAS UGH so I decided we could be fuck buddies but we never hung out again 💀 like an entire month went by and I never saw him but he was just DRAMA like one time I told him he had maturing to do and he got SO PISSED OFF he was all "I'd never say this shit about you. Maybe if we were 6 months into talking and actually knew you. That's fucked" and he was like "I pay for my shit, I work a shit ton and I'm nice and respectful" like okay babe sure you do those things but you couldn't even give me a solid answer to why you wanted to end things and any time I tried to communicate with you about anything you shut it down 💀 like that's not what I meant

BUT WHAT DID IT FOR ME, like what finally made me ghost him, was when he RANDOMLY SENT ME A PICTURE OF SOMEONE ELSES VAGINA ??? Then proceeded to say "look at the shit my friends send me. Absolutely putrid" and I WAS LIKE ???? 😃 why the fuck would you send me that. And he got pissed off and was all "my bad I forgot you're a stickler and take everything too seriously" LIKE WHAT??? WHY WOULD I NOT TAKE THAT SERIOUSOY?? I just told him I didn't think we should talk anymore and that I don't think he's a good person and he said "sounds good" LMAO

anyways... the guy I went on the other date with? OKAY HERES THE STORY. Basically I go to this dudes house, and PHYSICALLY he is 100% my type, and honestly he didn't have any bad qualities, but he just treated me like we were dating but it was our first date?? Like cuddling and giving me a bunch of cheek kisses and just like a lot of couple-y stuff, which I enjoy in general, but I just didn't have a connection with him yet so it was a lot 😃 and he never planned another day to hang out and like a month and a half went by?? So I just kinda got over him lol.

OKAY BUT HERES THE CRAZIEST ONE OKAY??

so like a month ago, I went to my best (guy) friends concert (he's in a band) and he's been my best friend for like 5 years but for some reason at this concert I realized I really liked being around him and whenever he wasn't by me I was sad 😃 and that suddenly I was slightly attracted to him ??? So that was weird. Then he planned to come up and see me (I live and hour away) that weekend and literally like two days before he came, I told my cousin I thought I was in love with him 😃 and she was like wtf

ANYWAYS so he comes to see me and it's all normal at first but I obv have a crush on him now so I'm like gigglin and shit. THEN we go to the mall, then get food, then we go ice skating and WE HELD HANDS THE WHOLE TIME AHDISJIEDJ and then he came over and stayed until like midnight but that was pretty much it.

Then the next week he had ANOTHER concert and at this concert he kinda stayed by me the whole time he wasn't playing, and when he went somewhere he would hold my hand behind him and pull me through the crowds 🤭 EEEEE and when we were sitting up in a booth we sat close enough to touch our legs AHHHH and at one point we went back down to the floor and danced together lolz and it was very cute. Then we all went to dinner after and he sat across from me AHAH and then before I left he came to say goodbye to me and asked me on an official date EEEEEEEE

AND THEN a few days before our date, I decided to go see him for new years and I got to his house like 10 mins before midnight 😳 but we didn't kiss or anything, we just watched SpongeBob with our other friend lol and I cuddled with him on the couch EEEE until our friend fell asleep and we decided to go lolz, so he walked me to my car and we hugged and he asked me what I was doin the next day & I told him nothin 😳 So we planned to hang, AND THEN he goes "should we kiss for new years?" And I SERIOUSLY GIGGLED FOR WAY TOO LONG and said "yeah" THEN WE KISSED AHHHHHH and it was perfect 😭 our kiss chemistry is amazing 😃

THEN the next day he came to see my parents new house and brought out other friend, then we played beat saber for a lil then had to take our friend home, then we ended up getting a coffee to share, a sandwich to share, then we hung out at his house for the rest of the day and WE KISSED AGAIN AHEIWJEKEK a couple times and it was very nice 😃

THEN like a couple days ago we went on our date and it was so fun 😭 I drove to his house, then he drove us both to this lil thrifting event and then we got food after which was very yum, then we got boba, then we went to a hot springs near us and we acted all couple-y 😳 like he was holding me and stuff and we kissed a few times AHHHHHHHH and then we decided to go back to my parents house (cuz that's where I was staying) and we watched a couple different movies AND THEN when he tried to go home, the weather was bad so he slept over 😃 and before we went to bed we had a REAL MAKEOUT like a butt grabbing like MAKEOUT makeout and it was so good 😃 oh my god.

Then the next morning he helped me make a resume for jobs lol and then went home, then I stopped to see him on my way back home and NOW WE ARE HERE
AND I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM
AND ITS SO WEIRD CUZ RHATS LITEEALLY MY BEST FRIEND
BUT IM IN LOVE

like genuinely. He treats me SO WELL. He literally opens all the car doors for me and FaceTimes me EVERY DAY and continuously plans time to spend with me and JUST TREATS ME LIKE A PRIORITY??? ITS SO??

I'm just so excited and it's CRAZY how it all happened but yeah 😃 we'll see how it goes