RANT BOOK

im sorry

march 15, 2021

IM SORRY i know all i ever write about is montana boy but HE JUST MAKES ME SO SHSISHAIHD I CANT STOP.

I'm literally in love with him. LIKE SERIOUSLY i can't explain this feeling but it's amazing and I never want it to go away.

he's perfect in every way. SERIOUSLY PERFRECT like I couldn't think of ANYONE better for me, he's so amazing.

AND WE FINALLY GET TO MEET OVER SPRING BREAK. THATS TWO FUCKING WEEKS FROM TODAY. TWO!! I'm so excited to finally be with him bruh. FOR FIVE WHOLE DAYS. it's gonna be amazing I'm so excited.

I wanna be with him forever bruh. if this doesn't work out then idk what I'm gonna do. I can't picture my life with anyone else and I KNOW THATS CRAZY CUZ IVE NEVER MET HIM BUT YOU JUST WOULDNT UNDERSTAND idk idk idk idk idk I just wanna be with him forever and ever. he makes me the happiest I've been in years.

like I genuinely thought I would never be able to feel again cuz I was numb for the longest time and then IDK HE SHOWED UP AND I FEEL EVERYTHING AGAIN. he literally changed everything and he didn't even know it :') HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN IDK

maybe I'm just crazy but it's okay. HE ALSO FUCKING WVUAUDISHDJSHS since he wants to be a tattoo artist he has a couple tattoo guns and one night he told me to pick something for him to tattoo on himself and I said "something that reminds you of me if that's not too much of a commitment😳" and he ended up doing a juice box with a heart cuz the juice box emoji reminds him of me 😌😌😌 AND ITS SO CUTE BRUH THE TATTOO?!? fuck man I will marry him NOW.

anyways I'll keep *myself* updated cuz no one reads this LMAO anyways that's all gn :)

just kidding I have more to say I guess LMAO this is kinda random but I kinda realized that touch is my main love language ?? for some reason. AND THAT SUCKS CUZ OBVIOUSLY I CANT TOUCH MONTANA BOY OR SHOW HIM AFFECTION LIKE 😐😐😐 bruhhh.

and also I'm frustrated because since I didn't grow up hearing the words "I love you" from my parents, it still feels foreign to me when people say it/when I say it to people and it's SO ANNOYING its like the same feeling you would get when you were younger if people said a bad word. you know that feeling? yeah I get that when people tell me they love me LMAO ITS SO BAD like when Montana boy tells me he loves me when he's about to hang up FaceTime my brain goes into panic mode even tho I LITERALLY FEEL THAT EMOTION AND IVE HEARD THOSE WORDS BEFORE LMAO it's so dumb. Idk I just wish I wasn't raised like this cuz my brothers are like this too. it makes me so sad

LIKE LISTEN I walked into the kitchen one day when my little brother was on call with my grandma and she said "love you" and my brother awkwardly said "you too" back like bruh 😔 why would our parents raise us like this 😐😐 I just don't understand why it was so hard for them to tell us they love us.

oh well, now I have Montana boy who will break me out of that :) hopefully. Okay GN FR.