What do Legendaries get up to?

So this is the Creation Trio

YEAH THIS WAS BASED OFF GENERATIONS WHY DO YOU ASK??

I've watched too much Pokémon anime recently and now I'm about to go watch Hoopa and the Clash of Ages for the fifth time goodbye

***

(In the Platinum timeline)

Cyrus: this coronavirus is getting out of hand
Cyrus; I must kill everyone but myself to stop it
Saturn: but sir what if you catch it
Cyrus: shut up you planet

Cyrus: DIALGA, PALKIA, COME TO MEEEE

*and so Dialga and Palkia are pulled out of their rooms in some sort of rope thing?? Idfk what that was it looked like a paper chain*

Dialga: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
Palkia: FUCK I ALMOST BEAT GIRATINA'S SCORE IN MARIO KART WHY NOW

Cyrus: can you give me your powers
Dialga: you wot mate
Palkia: sorry but if you're looking for sanity, I don't have any
Cyrus: no you dick head I mean your powers to control space and time
Dialga: ok listen, I don't know who told you about us, and what they said, but we are NOT that gullible
Palkia: yes but these paper chains hurt
Dialga: you're right they are a little stiff

Cyrus: I can make them tighter
Dialga: wtf how
Cyrus: b l a c k m a g i c

*and so the chains become tighter, but a familiar voice is heard*

Cynthia: CYRUS, STOP THIS AT ONCE
Palkia: sheesh why does everyone think everyone else is so gullible

*Cynthia and the protagonist, let's say it's Lucas cause I used Dawn last time, walk up the stairs*

Dialga: OH LORD HER GARCHOMP IS THERE
Palkia: CYRUS YOU'RE FUCKED
Cyrus: Cynthia why did you bring a child along with you
Cynthia: I didn't, he stalked me cause apparently I'm his waifu along with lopunny
Lucas: WHAT THE FUCK I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE
Dialga: *flashbacks to the fifth chapter*

Cyrus: ...interesting, to say the least.
Palkia: he's probably screaming internally
Cyrus; I'll show you screaming internally in a second

*the chains become harder, until suddenly something comes from the ground*

Dialga: PALKIA DID YOU LEAVE THE BASEMENT DOOR OPEN
Palkia: NO THAT WAS DARKRAI

*Wild Giratina appeared!*

Giratina: I was gonna leave you two, then I heard that this was Platinum so Game Freak forced me to come get you guys
Dialga: what the shit man
Palkia: wait so you'd leave us?
Giratina: yeah, I was having fun tormenting you in mario kart
Dialga: oh you little shit

Cyrus: has the family reunion finished? Can I carry on with what I was doing?
Giratina: nah fam, but you can join me playing and beating Dialga and Palkia in mario kart after I free them
Cyrus: wait what

*Giratina frees the two, but trust me he thought about it a lot before doing it*

Cyrus: sheesh, thanks for spoiling the show.
Giratina: actually Lucas probably just played this game so he could catch me so technically I'm the show
Lucas: *sweating*

*Giratina kidnaps Cyrus and shoves him down the basement and he carries on playing mario kart whilst Cyrus gets up*

Cyrus: ...
Cyrus: this is your world?
Giratina: my world? Nah fam this is just the basement, I nicknamed it the distortion world
Cyrus: wait what
Giratina: it's kinda my naughty corner too but I snuck a tv down somehow

Cyrus: ...
Cyrus: are there any other humans here?
Giratina: nah
Cyrus: ...
Giratina: can you not turn into Red every time you say something
Cyrus: I'm sorry what the fuck

*Eventually Cyrus agrees to stay and they become best pals and play mario kart all day*

Dialga: wait who's GalaticCyrus69?
Palkia: OH DON'T TELL ME GIRATINA GOT HIM INTO IT

***

(Diamond and Pearl version)

Cyrus: this coronavirus is getting out of hand
Cyrus; I must kill everyone but myself to stop it
Saturn: but sir what if you catch it
Cyrus: shut up you planet

Cyrus: ARISE, DIALGA/PALKIA, depending on which version we're playing, what version are we playing?

Saturn: ...
Mars: ...
Saturn: ...
Mars: Pearl?

Cyrus: alright then, ARISE PALKIA!

*Palkia comes out the portal*

Palkia: DIALGA YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU CAN'T JUST HIDE THE CONTRO- where the fuck am I
Cyrus: Palkia, give me your power
Palkia: sanity? sheesh dude you picked the wrong version for that
Cyrus: I- no your power to control space
Palkia: if you have some sanity on you to spare, then happily
Cyrus: do I look like I have sanity
Palkia: hmmm no not really

*meanwhile*

Dialga: GIRATINA OPEN UP
Giratina: did you read the sign?
Dialga: what sign
Giratina: "do not open until Platinum is realised"?
Dialga: dude this should have been opened years ago, anyways

Giratina: don't tell me Palkia beat my score
Dialga: ha, never. but he's gone missing all of a sudden, that pesky Cyrus I swear
Giratina: oh phew I got worried for a second
Dialga: wait wot
Giratina: it ain't Platinum, so it ain't my problem
Dialga: YO WHAT

*Giratina slams the door in Dialga's face*

Dialga: ....
Dialga: well at least I'll have peace and quiet until arceus comes along and blames me for the destruction of the universe, or until someone decides to play Diamond

***

Awocnwoznsob will I do one for Johto and Hoenn? Bitch yes I WILL

Idk when but e anyways almost 3k holy shit-

Also random headcanon: arceus comes down every two weeks to feed giratina and then leaves him again