What do Legendaries get up to?

Area 51

I WAS DOING A RANDOMISER AND I GOT A SASSY RAYQUAZA IT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL OKAY??

ANYWAYS ENJOY

***

Mewtwo: ok boys we're going in
Mew: son if we get arrested you're the guilty one
S.Mewtwo: he's always the guilty one
Mewtwo: bruh
Lugia: I see an FBI agent, should we sneak in or go full out
Ho-Oh: sneak in
Celebi: go full out
Lugia: make up your mind, would ya?
Mewtwo: shut up ho-oh we're going full out
Lugia: bitch did you ju-
Ho-Oh: shHHH

*they attack the agents*

Rayquaza: all this hassle better be worth what we're gonna see
Kyogre: your mom
Rayquaza: shut the fuck up
Celebi: nah fam it's more like "your waifu"
Groudon: PFF
Rayquaza: you can also shut the fuck up
S.Mewtwo: GUYS CMON

Lugia: where's the nearest closet I need to shove this guy in it
Groudon: bro we're out in the open there ain't no closet nearby
Lugia: well fuck that *yeets the guy into the desert*
Rayquaza: where the fuck is giratina I thought someone called him along
Ho-Oh: it appears arceus grounded him
Mew: speaking of arceus, I have sinnoh battle theme stuck in my head
Kyogre: at least you'll die happily

*inside Area 51*

Mewtwo: so where the aliens at
Ho-Oh: maybe we need to attract them
Lugia: if we're talking about who I think we're talking about, a meteorite would do
Celebi: alright genius where are we gonna get that from
Lugia: uh
Kyogre: your m-
Rayquaza: son I forbid you from finishing that sentence
Groudon: you forbid us from a lot of things
Rayquaza: exactly, I only brought you along cause I thought we would die

Lugia: hey rayquaza do you happen to have any meteorites you'd like to cough up
Rayquaza; how strange I never thought you'd ask *proceeds to choke*
S.Mewtwo: why the fuck are you coughing up bits of space rock at 5am
Lugia: to attract the aliens
Mew: it's a shame none of us can learn that move
Celebi: we're all genderless anyways so I don't think it matters

*Rayquaza spits out 5 pieces of meteor and a deceased minior*

Rayquaza: oops that wasn't supposed to come out *eats the minior*
Groudon: that is fucking disgusting
Celebi: especially if you think about it hard enough
Groudon: wait

Lugia: ok we have 5 bits of space rock what do we go with them
Kyogre; throw em into space and see what happens?
Lugia: how the fuck are we supposed to-
Mew: uhhhh anyone else got any suggestions?
Ho-Oh: shape them into statues
Celebi: kill more FBI agents then move onto the government
Mewtwo: throw them at each other until one of us faints *looks at S.Mewtwo*
Rayquaza: eat them
Lugia: what the fuck is wrong with you guys

Mew: listen lugia, the worst thing that could possibly happen is that you loose your water typing in replace of something unnecessary, like psychic
Lugia: *sweating*

Groudon: ok enough jokes can we go kill some aliens already
Ho-Oh: wait we came here to kill them??
S.Mewtwo: yeah, what did you think we were gonna do?
Ho-Oh: I- don't know tbh-

Rayquaza: what a nice way to start 2021, we go hunting for aliens using meteorites I just choked up and now celebi wants to kill the us government

Mew: ngl you pretty much summed it up
Rayquaza: thank you
Celebi: hey is that a comet in the sky
Lugia: wait what the fu

*and just like in the majority of space disaster movies, the small meteorite hits nearby Area 51 but since this isn't a movie no one dies*

Rayquaza: well then
Ho-Oh: guess we better check it out *shrug*
Lugia: aight boys lets go
Mewtwo: bro I invited everyone here, not you
S.Mewtwo: lugia told us to move, not you
Mewtwo: I-

*so, at the meteor*

Celebi: hello? is palkia's sanity in there?
Groudon: we all know the answer to that question and it's no
Mewtwo: *touches meteor and it falls into two*
Everyone: ...
Mewtwo: ok I knew it was strong but wtf

S.Mewtwo: hey look shiny
Rayquaza: WH
Kyogre: another shiny legendary? bruh how many of these things are we gonna get
S.Mewtwo: no I mean there's a shining crystal thing in the middle
Mew: wait what the fu

*the purple crystal thing stars glowing like in that one pokemon movie cough cough*

Mewtwo: ooh shiny
Ho-Oh: wtf is that
Celebi: it isn't palkia's sanity so I'm not interested
Groudon; guess you'll never be interested then
S.Mewtwo: *picks it up* well boys we found something so we didn't waste half an hour of our lives
Rayquaza: my life is always being wasted as long as groudon and kyogre are around
Lugia: relatable

*so S.Mewtwo brings it home with her, and so three days later..*

*the crystal thing starts glowing again*

Mew: holy shit it's alive
S.Mewtwo: wh
Mew: favourite child come look at this
Mewtwo: *coughs* I think she means me
Mew; we all know I very much don't
Mewtwo: oh well I tried

S.Mewtwo: it's glowing again
Mewtwo: no shit sherlock
Mew; should we tell the others
Mewtwo: nah rayquaza would probably eat it
S.Mewtwo: not until-

*then it starts floating*

Mew: OK THAT ISNT NORMAL
S.Mewtwo: *dials some shit into a phone*
911/999, what's your emergency?
Mewtwo: AAAA

*it turns into deoxys! wow I bet you didn't see that one coming*

Mew: ..hello?
Deoxys: ...
S.Mewtwo: yo that's creepy wtf
Mewtwo: is that an alien?
Deoxys: bitch we literally know each other I-
Mewtwo: SHUT UP ITS PART OF THE SCRIPT
Mew: *goes to fix the 4th wall*
S.Mewtwo: *sighs* take two.

*take two*

Mew: ..hello?
Deoxys: ...
S.Mewtwo: yo that's creepy wtf
Mewtwo: is that an alien?
Deoxys: no this is patrick
S.Mewtwo: well hello patrick
Mew: where are you from
Deoxys: space, what do you think?
Mew: yes but where in space
Deoxys: idfk game freak didn't clarify
Mewtwo: well time to tell the others

*and s o*

Rayquaza: wait I'm literally dating deoxys I thought-
Mew: DON'T QUESTION IT, IT'S PART OF THE SCRIPT, AND WE DO NOT QUESTION THE SCRIPT
Rayquaza: thank you for clarifying that by screaming in my face
Mew: you're welcome

S.Mewtwo: anyways meet patrick
Deoxys: yo that ain't actually my name you reali-
S.Mewtwo: *COUGHS* PATRICK, SAY HELLO TO ALL THE OTHER LEGENDARIES
Deoxys: I'm a mythical
S.Mewtwo: god dammit just get to know them already

Deoxys: hello I'm an alien
Kyogre: hello I'm a whale
Groudon: hello I'm a-
Kyogre: bitchass face
Groudon: shut the fuck up

Deoxys: wanna see something
Lugia: sure
Rayquaza: I don't trust you
Deoxys: shut up
Deoxys: shake my hand
Ho-Oh: all I see are tentacles not hands
Groudon: nominddontthinkthat
Deoxys: *transforms noodle arms into hands*
Lugia: oh my god I didn't see that coming
Deoxys: just shake my god damn hand

*Lugia shakes it*

Deoxys: *starts dancing* NEVER GONNA
GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN-

Lugia: NOOOOOOOOOOO
Ho-Oh: *dying of laughter*
Rayquaza: THIS ALIEN KNOWS HOW TO RICK-ROLL? WE'RE IN TROUBLE HOLY SHIT
Mew: *screaming*
S.Mewtwo: *holds cross* BEGONE SATANIC DEMON

***

Once again I had no idea what the fuck I was going and yes lugia got rick-rolled why do you ask

It's 4:30am and I have online classes next week god help me