What do Legendaries get up to?

{REQUEST} can i keep it?/ lake pranking

I crawled out of my grave just to post this chapter

Also holy shit new pokemon snap is fucking awesome, definitely gonna buy that when I get a switch (if I get a switch..)

Anyways, here we go, thanks for the requests

***

Request #1

***

*selene/moon, whatever you wanna call her, vibing outside her house*

Mom: selene honey can you take the trash out
Selene: hau's already out though
Mom: haha very funny now take this out *yeets bin bag at her*
Selene: is hau in here? did you kidnap him?
Mom: can you please take the bin bag out
Selene: okok

*she goes to the dumpster, wherever that is, and sees something black there*

Selene: I mean I should hope I do, all the bin bags are black

*something black and moving*

Selene; ooh scary
Selene: is that a mimikyu

*she hears muffled screams*

Selene: huh, somebody already threw hau in here I see

*suddenly necrozma comes out a bag, ripping it to shreds and still screaming*

Necrozma: LUNALA WHY DID YOU DO THIS
Necrozma: I KNOW I ALMOST SHATTERED COSMOEM BUT THIS IS HORRIBLE
Necrozma: NO NIGHT-LIGHT EITHER AAAA
Selene: ....
Necrozma: ...
Selene: ...
Necrozma: OH SHIT HUMAN

Selene: are you a pokemon?
Necrozma; do I look like a human to you
Selene: I asked if you were a pokemon, not a human
Necrozma: listen kid, the only living things on this miserable planet is humans and pokemon, so if I'm not one then I'm obviously the other
Selene: ...
Selene: *chucks quick ball at necrozma*
Necrozma: AAAAA WHAT

*shake*
*shake*
*shake*
*ding! necrozma was caught!*

(No homo I caught necrozma in a quick ball in my moon savefile)

Selene: yaaaaay I caught a pokemon
Rotom: holy shit I've never seen this pokemon before
Selene: hey, wrong game, this isn't the ultra games
Rotom; well I'm sorry, *cough* nECRozMa's DAtA WiLl bE AddED tO THe POkEdeX!
Selene: thank you

*she goes home*

Selene: moooom I caught a pokemon
Mom: you were supposed to put the trash out
Selene: I did but look
*she lets out necrozma who crashes through the roof*
Necrozma: HOLY SHIT LIGHT! IM SO FUCKING THANKFUL!
Mom: ...
Mom: selene.

Selene: can I keep him
Necrozma: dude you caught me
Selene: she makes me release pokemon like she did with the nihilego
Necrozma: ....you caught nihilego?
Selene: yes
Necrozma: oh cool- why tho
Mom: *rule34 flashbacks* no reason

Selene: can I keep him tho
Mom: no, no you can't
Selene: why
Necrozma: I'm scared of the dark please let me fucking stay
Mom: are you involved in selene rule34
Necrozma: I don't want to check tbh
Selene: wait what

*so mom decides that selene can keep necrozma, who at first is thankful, but when day comes he realised how much of a mistake it is since he's immediately chucked into the box*

Necrozma: ....
*Pheromosa walks up to him*
Necrozma: oh no
Pheromosa: we need to talk
Necrozma: OH NO

***

Request #2

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*ash, dawn and brock go to lake verity because.. uh idk I can't remember how the anime went but they went there anyways*

Ash: so what's that stuff that barry was saying about the lake guardians
Dawn: idk I wasn't listening
Brock: mesprit, azelf and uxie
Ash: are..?
Brock; the lake guardians
Ash: and..?
Brock: they live near the lake
Dawn: ah yes, the floor here is made out of floor

Brock; *slaps her* shush that's a dead meme
Dawn: ITS NEVER DEAD IN MY HEART

*the cry is heard*

Ash: omg that's a threatening cry, anyways the lake guardians have lake in their name so I'm assuming they're a water type, so pIkAcHU uSE thUnDErBolT
*pikachu uses thunderbolt to nothing since there ain't a target*
Ash: wtf it has 100% accuracy
Brock: ash, it hit the lake
Dawn: THE MAGIKARPS ARE GONNA DIE
Ash: NOO PIKACHU WHAT DID YOU DO?!?

*uxie floats over to them upside down*

Ash: is that a lake guardian
Uxie: *sticks tongue out*
Brock: they have tongues??
Dawn: brock, literally every pokemon that has a mouth has a tongue
Uxie: there's a whole fucking two pokemon based on tongues
Brock: *lenny face*

*azelf comes from behind and slaps him*
Azelf: no
Brock; wHAT tHeyrES mOre
Dawn: brock, they have "s" at the end of "guardians" for a reason
Ash: is there only two?
Azelf: yes
Uxie: yes
Mesprit: you little shits-

Ash: wtf are they part psychic
Dawn: I bet they're water/psychic
Brock: nah water/flying, look how they levitate
Dawn: omg you're right
Uxie: *to azelf* does psychic resist electric?
Azelf: no but it resists itself, so..
Azelf: hey kids we're actually fighting/poison
Mesprit: I'm sorry but how the fuck would they believe that

Ash: ...
Dawn: ...
Brock: ...
Ash: OH MY GOD I KNEW IT
Dawn: THATS A 4X WEAKNESS TO PSYCHIC
Brock: ASH TELL PIKACHU TO USE PSYCHIC
Pikachu: I don't know psychic
Ash: GREAT IDEA BROCK! PIKACHU USE THUNDERBOLT!
Pikachu: wtf
Ash: I MEAN USE PSYCHIC!

*pikachu magically learns psychic and uses it on the lake trio, but surprise, surprise! It had almost no effect*

Azelf: omg that hurt so much
Uxie: I'm getting a headache tho, is that a side effect?
Mesprit: uxie, you're upside down, just think.
Uxie: hmmm yes
Mesprit: correct.

***

Lessons learnt: they're all really dumb and you shouldn't trust them

Anyways I'm going back to my gravestone until bdsp comes out, jk until I'm in the mood to write a new chapter

Holy shit bdsp sounds like bdsm I-