Orphic (h.s)

5. Fuck you harold

Tate

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unbreak the broken 

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shit 

I roll out of bed and I check the time it reads 3 in the afternoon 

last night I got home at 5 in the morning and I crashed not even thinking about last nights events 

My phone rings and its my father. I hit the green button and I bring the phone to my ear

"we buried Liam this morning" is the first thing he says to me and I feel a flash of anger come over me 

"you what?" I snap and I sit up. 

"we buried him this morning" he says again and I grip my sheets 

"and you didn't think to tell me because?" I ask and I here him sigh

"we wanted you to rest we knew you wouldn't be okay if you came with" he says and I roll my eyes 

"who the fuck is we" I snap 

"Zayn, Louis, Niall, and I" he says like its obvious 

"I can't fucking believe you" I say and I hang up 

I throw my phone across my bedroom and I fall back asleep 

I wake up again and it's dark outside. I walk out of my bedroom and I walk to Jerry's cage and I pet him and feed him and then I make myself some dinner 

I look through my cabinets and I choose mac and cheese 

I put some water in my pan and I turn on the stove. I look at the time and it reads ten at night

I look from my windows and I see the city and I smile 

my phone rings and it's Niall. I pick it up and I put it on speaker 

"what?" I say and he takes a deep breath 

"um hello?" he says and I roll my eyes 

"no fuck you" I say and put my phone down and I pour the noodles in the pot 

"cmon Tate we didn't wake you because we knew it would brake you to see him like that" he says and I shake my head

"do you guys think I'm not strong enough to handle it" I ask and he sighs 

"Tate listen to me, I could barely handle it, it was fucking hard burying one of my best friends. we never said you weren't strong enough you have been through plenty for your life time, I'm sorry we didn't bring you along but I promise we were just looking out for you" he says and I take a deep breath and I nod 

" I know Ni I'm sorry I blew up" I say and I pour the cheese into the noodles 

the line went silent and I look at my phone 

"Ni do you think you come with me to see him tomorrow?" I ask him 

"of course I'll pick you up at 8" he says and I nod 

"okay I'll see you tomorrow" I say 

"yup, I love you" he says and my stomach drops 

"yea" I say and I hang up. I groan at the fact I can't say those stupid three words 

I haven't said those words since before I was thirteen. when it happened I was thirteen. I was a child barely a teenager I was a brat and I didn't say it much before that either but it stopped when I was thirteen and I haven't said it since. I thought when it happened if they loved me then I would of been home with my mom and dad. But I wasn't so I thought they didn't love me