Cheated and Pregnant (Editing)

55.

I shouldn't be the victim anymore. Not of my past and not now. It's time I be who I am and what I am. Grace Hardie died. Now living is Rosie Robinsons. The weak cannot live in this world and I am not weak.

I am strong. I've been through the rough side and I've paid my price in life with my blood, sweat and tears. So there is no need for me to bleed, sweat or cry. I have paid my respect worked like a slave.

But not in this life. Not again. Never again. I won't be a victim in this life and to this world. I refuse to let it determine how I feel and how I live and who I should love and trust. This is the world which is filled with the good and the bad. You can't be here and not get both. If you had? Then you are truly bless or something is definitely wrong with your life.

No matter the rich and the poor will experience grievances. No one is exempt from the harshness of this life it's just that some of us suffer more than some. If you had went through my situation, if you had experience my life would you have been able to overcome, to remain sane, and would you have committed suicide giving up on life.

The challenges we go through in life is based on our strength, on our will to fight, being honest with ourselves and others, to be will to forgive and forget no matter the crime, to learn, to grow, to improve, to go through any weather, storm, earthquakes and so on. We must find a firm stand to be rooted and not easily moved or uprooted. To endure, you need to endure life and all that comes at you. Whether it be you've been wronged by those that are around you- your family, your friend, your husband, your wife, you children, your siblings and the list goes on- just endure it.

Handle your emotions, handle your reactions it's best to have control over one's self. Maybe your destined to die but will you let yourself die. Don't you want to fight back, don't you want to live and live for good reasons. Don't just give up because you are destined to be alone, destined to be bullied, to be rape, to me robbed, to be cheat, to be betrayed, to suffer.

Don't me the victim of fate, destiny, or universe. Be your own hero and there is nothing wrong in admitting that you're not okay and that you need help, no shame in having sickness, you just need to live life no matter the circumstances.

And it's true you're going to break down and fall down but don't just lay there forever, not even for a minute, you need to get back up and keep moving forward. Some people would say don't look back but I say look back because you need to know where you're coming from to keep going because is you forget where you're coming from there is a chance you might be right there again because you forgot to avoid it.

Remember who you were before everything to see how far you've come, to see how better you are, to see your progress. To know you'll never go back, never be that person again. Being a new person doesn't mean that you change everything about you or about your looks. Being a new person means that all those negative emotions, ways and habits have been amended. You've just changed the way you think, how you see, his you act and react. Looks have nothing to do with a new person it's just the looks.

A killer will always be a killer if he/she still kills or have thoughts of killing no matter if they change their looks, talk, walk, appearance, address and name. He/she will always be a killer.

Life is precious.

Your experience are important.

Mistakes are important. The more you learn from them the less you make.

I'm no motivational speaker but if I don't encourage I night find myself slipping.

No matter what I go through in my life I must not let it get the best of me.

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As the ninth month grows closer the more anxious I got. I was so nervous but between all those emotions I was excited, anticipating the arrival of my son.

I really can't wait. I have doubts but Derek help me to quell all these feelings and help me to relax.

I waddle, not walk because pregnant women don't walk. As I was saying I waddle myself around the sofa and sat down breathing a sigh of relief. I found a comfortable position, I turned on the TV.

I was just switching through channels, I was bored out of my mind so I decided to see what's on. Nope. Nope. Boring. Nope. Nope.

I sighed deciding to just have a nap when the last channel that I was going to switch caught my attention. I thought it was the fast flicking of channel so I went back to the previous channel not sure if what I saw was real or not. I pressed the minus channel button and increasing the volume.

What?! Was the first thing and word that came to my mind. What's going on? I was confused seeing the one picture of Derek and I that was taken when we were leaving the clinic.

He said he dealt with it, that there will no longer be talk of us in the media again about that picture. I know that's not possible since he's always in the spotlight but this picture I never thought it would be brought up again. I wonder who dare to offend Derek.

Have he seen this? Or heard what they are saying. Complete rubbish. The picture disappeared from the screen and in its place is an interview between two person.

One was a middle aged woman who smiled at the camera dressed in a pant suit introducing her guest. Her guest was none other than  Tia. Dress to impress with heavy make-up on her face. To viewers she might look beautiful and elegant but to me she looked like a viper.

What is she up to? Haven't she done enough? Maybe I'm overacting.  This might not be related to me or have anything to do with my life.

"I'm heartbroken that Derek cheated on me," the interviewer was nodding hanging onto her every word she says handing her a tissue when she started crying. "That's wasn't the hardest part, it's the fact that he left me for her."

More tears. What the hell is she talking about? But what I'm really thinking about is that she don't say my name on national tv.

"We were best friends and I never thought she would've do me so dirty, I trusted her, now I have this hole in my heart because both the person I trust the most put it there when they cheated on our relationship." She made it sound so real, made it look do realistic but it was all a fake.

But no one could see that, no one would see that but the few people that knows the truth. All they saw was a woman that was betrayed by her best friend and lover, who is heartbroken by the ordeal.

That's my story.

"I'll never forgive you Rosie, not for what you've done. Rosie Robinson everyone will know the truth that you're a homewrecker," said Tia. It was like a promise to me, a hidden one like she knew that I was watching. Promising me that she's going to tear me down piece by piece.

Under all that crying and make up I could see her smile. How conniving she is and she would do anything, plot any scheme to ruin my life.